on Listening…
“…between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most of love is lost.’ Kahlil Gibran
I posted briefly about World Listening Day on Saturday and it was clear from the comments that people had a lot to say about the lack of listening. Listening is so many things - it is attention, it is patience, it is respect ..In today’s world listening is diluted by technology which offers so many distractions; it struggles in an increasingly polarised world where we don’t want to hear the other side; in a world full of noise, it is difficult to be heard. It is often said that people listen in order to reply rather than to understand. I have often felt that my own anxiety around talking stems from a lack of confidence in people listening. I feel the need to say things really fast, conscious of the listener’s attention span. In large groups I rarely feel able to talk, conscious of competing voices.
There are few greater gifts than our attention, but it seems that we are less willing to give it. I have noticed so many people are wearing headphones these days it is a rare occasion to actually see ears! Epictetus said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” I wonder what that ratio looks like now.
And listening has wider meanings. I think of listening when i am reading posts on Instagram. As everyone is jostling for attention, working their way around the algorithm, true engagement is the holy grail and to be prized. People write comments at a hundred miles an hour; how often do we really listen to what a person has written, and how often do we really listen to our reply before posting a comment.
My own mindful focus around listening has been on attention. I am taking time to listen to my comments before responding to someone’s post; I am putting my phone out of reach when I am talking to people; I am listening to understand rather than reply. The latter involves me not feeling that I have to come up with an answer, to resolve a problem, or to do anything more than just listen. Attention is enough.
Come tell me what you think. I am listening xxx
a day agolife_longreading
I believe deep listening is the greatest gift you can give anyone. Listening to hear rather than to reply is so important. There are also so many subtle and not so subtle non-verbal cues that lets us know that somebody is truly listening to us. It is priceless to give and priceless to receive. 💚💚💚 what a beautiful post Sally thank you.
3 days agomylittlebookhome
I often find that people just need a rant or to get things off their chest and listening and acknowledging is the best way you can help and support people.
4 days agocraigsreads
Active listening is a real skill and in my experience has to be worked at and practised like any other skill. Most people hear but don’t actively listen. When you come across an active listener, you notice a significant difference in the interaction. Active listening also demands being present, which is sadly all too often undermined these days by the proliferation of “devices”.
5 days ago_the_book_bug_
I have to confess that I have been guilty of listening to reply, so this is a good reminder to listen to understand. Thank you for another thought provoking post, Sally.
5 days agobookwormblloggs
I totally agree with this Sally. I'm a fairly confident person but if I'm around people I don't know then I very rarely put myself forward as I worry I will just get ignored. Not listening as a rule really annoys me especially when you are watching a presentation or something like that. It's just so rude!
5 days agojulia_flyte
"People write comments at a hundred miles an hour; how often do we really listen to what a person has written, and how often do we really listen to our reply before posting a comment." - this strikes a chord with me. Thank you Sally.
5 days agosunflowerbooknook
Few people want to listen. I hear questions asked and no one answers the question. It's truly fascinating. Lovely post as always Sally ❤️
5 days agojac_in_a_book
Children really struggle to listen and focus in school these days. It’s a real worry. Too much online stimulation I suspect .
5 days ago5star.books
This is so true Sally. Thinking being at work there are often people who are too keen to voice their opinions but not listen or encourage others to speak. Active listening is definitely a skill we can all look to improve on.
5 days agolflbookadventures
Active listening is so important. It really saddens me when we're out for dinner, and we see a family that are all on their own devices. They are missing an opportunity for conversation, and practicing listening skills.
5 days agoodonnellslittlegarden
Great post Sally - very relatable. Love this quote too. Really listening is so important.
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