Anita Tomecki

We are never fighting each other as much as we are clashing our childhood traumas - but we don't realise this.

We really believe it is them:

not seeing me, not hearing me, rejecting me, abandoning me, controlling me, gaslighting me, love bombing me, ghosting me.

It all seems so personal.

Why?

Because we rarely sit down and explore our childhood experiences, mind programs and where our nervous systems started to dysregulate.

Why don't we?

Well if we aren't sitting down to have these conversations it is often because we don't realise this ourselves.

Why?

Because no one taught us. Because no one knew this to teach us.

So now we have 2 nervous systems reacting out of our historical survival mode.

Our body and mind doesn't know it's arguing with someone who loves us in 2026, instead we are back in our 7 year old version, trapped and trying to survive.

We aren't fighting another as much we are fighting the ghost of the environment that hurt us.

Number one coaching topic as I work with clients/couples and all relationship conflicts.

As we start to really understand this, remove blame language, gently each take responsibility for our pasts and then get curious to their experience, well -

whether you remain in each others lives from here becomes a choice and no longer a hateful reaction.

Feel free to DM me to hear more on this life changing process ❤️