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Cole Thorna

@thorna_etc

a month ago
Photo by Cole Thorna on September 16, 2026. May be an image of text that says 'a NEW NEW LAW AW'.
Photo by Cole Thorna on September 16, 2026. May be an image of text.
Photo by Cole Thorna on September 16, 2026. May be an image of text that says 'The mayor, Brigham Stokes, was standing on the sanctuary, staring down at the altar where his notecard sat. Above him was α shoddily made banner that read Durham Mayoral Debate. Seated in the pews were the old folks who'd arrived for the debate early, extremely excited that the mayor was making α surprise announcement for only them to hear. When Stokes looked up at the sound of α door opening, saw Mackenzie. His face went pale, and he cursed himself. He should've started sooner, instead of rubbing elbows with his constituents. Mackenzie took α seat in the front row.'.
Photo by Cole Thorna on September 16, 2026. May be an image of text.
Photo by Cole Thorna on September 16, 2026. May be an image of text that says 'Mackenzie stopped jotting in his notepad. He looked up at the mayor. He looked around the room. Nobody reacted to the words. He stood. "Mr. Mayor, that's heinous. That seems compl-" " implementing another new law." Stokes had reached the end of his notecard; he was now adlibbing. "Anybody who would like to speak at α press conference must raise their hand and be called on before they do so."'.
Photo by Cole Thorna on September 16, 2026. May be an image of text that says '"Now you can't just..." Mackenzie trailed off as he watched α police officer off in α corner of the who'd been standing room advance menacingly towards him, holding a pair of handcuffs. Mackenzie gaped but was silent. The officer retreated to his his corner. Mackenzie lifted his arm. Stokes scanned the other side of the room. "Would anybody like to comment?" Mackenzie waved his arm around. "Anybody at all?" Mackenzie was full on spasming now. Stokes sighed. "Yes, Mackenzie."'.
Photo by Cole Thorna on September 16, 2026. May be an image of text that says '"Yes, I'd like to first ask about this new law pertaining to mayoral candidates. Why should anybody who'd like to be mayor of this town have α history of fornicating with animals?" Stokes considered the question carefully. He stroked his chin. " think that people who've had sex with animals haven't had a fair shot in this town. I think they deserve to be given an opportunity." "But, sir, you're running for mayor, are you not?" "| certainly am." " you had sex with animals?"'.
Photo by Cole Thorna on September 16, 2026. May be a meme of text that says 'Stokes' face furled in disgust. "No, Mackenzie, I have not had sex with animals." "So you can't run." " grandfathered in." "There's α man I'm aware of who's sitting in county jail. He's been there for the better part of α year, arrested for marijuana possession. Can he run for mayor?" "Has he had sex with animals?" "Not that I'm aware of." "Then of course not."'.
Photo by Cole Thorna on September 16, 2026. May be an image of slow loris and text that says 'Mackenzie tried to regain his composure. He tried to get his head on straight, use what he'd learned in journalism school all those years ago. He wanted to show these people sitting in the pews of the church the kind of guy they were all dealing with here. He wanted to elicit change. "So when your opponent walks in, the only other candidate who's competing for this position, out that he can't run for he's going to find mayor?" "He can run for mayor." "Can he?" "Yes. If he admits he's had sex with animals."'.
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Posted On: September 17th 2026, 05:23 am

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