Listen to how you describe yourself for a day. Then count how many of those start with "I am."
As a psychotherapist, Amy Morin (@amymorinauthor) tells clients to try trading the being verb for a habit—“I have a tendency to,” “I do this sometimes.”
It sounds like a technicality, but it isn't. A tendency is something you can change next time. An identity is something you live up to.
What's one "I am" you'd swap?
This episode of A Bit of Optimism is brought to you by @sap 🎧 Check out the full episode wherever you get your podcasts!
2 days agomichelemmc17
This was such a fantastic and insightful podcast !! So many takeaways but my fav- if you can fix the problem fix the problem of not fix the feeling
7 days agoaesop.f
People who do intentionally bad or harmful things ARE bad people. Hurting a person with intent is BAD. Betraying someone and deliberately tormenting them or treating them with unwarranted contempt afterwards by purposely kicking them while they’re down (whilst already being hurt by what you inflicted onto them) is. a. choice. If your pattern is cruelty instead of consideration you’re not a good person.
14 days agoleadgen
Swapping "I am anxious" for "I have a tendency toward anxiety" is a three-word edit that changes what your brain treats as permanent.
22 days agoriseandstay
Reframing identity as a changeable habit is such a practical shift. “I have a tendency to…” leaves room for growth instead of turning one hard pattern into a permanent label.
22 days agotheheirspath
The language hardens fast. Once I say I am bad at something out loud, I stop looking for evidence that I am not.
23 days agosaiylem
「You」 are greater than your 『self』. It′s wonderfully pedantic. The reinforced language you use on your self can give you control just as it can take it away.
23 days agokatfernweh
People who tell other people “I’m an empathetic person” or “I’m a kind person” tend to be less empathetic or less kind than the average in the population (this has been studied). So if you’re saying it to yourself in your head, all good, but if you’re saying it to other people, you’re manipulating people into believing something about you that may be in a deficit.
23 days agocoach_katefranklin
Our brains are listening to the language we use about ourselves all the time. And thanks to confirmation bias, once we start believing something about ourselves, we naturally look for the evidence that proves us right. So if the stories we tell ourselves have that much influence, let’s choose ones that help us grow rather than constantly reinforcing all the reasons we think we can’t.
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