Keezy

My dumps are funny cause it’s just me, what I’m reading and my dogs 💅🏽 I made cupcakes inspired by this book. Very recently, I realized my all or nothing attitude that I was so convinced I worked through is something that I don’t think I’ll ever “conquer” and that in itself shows the very mindset of all or nothing. I expected my years of therapy and officially graduating from therapy meant I was better. Far from it! But now I have the tools to see it and work through it on my own. I realized I’ve been stopping myself from enjoying any hobbies or trying new things because I get immediately frustrated if I’m not perfect at it the first time. I was told by my loving brother I lack perseverance and while that stung, he’s completely right. I give up because I don’t wanna do difficult things because things are usually more difficult for me than the average because of a diagnosed learning disability I have. So I get mad and throw away and potential. I am embarrassed to admit, I’ve never tried even baking boxed goods because I felt shame it wouldn’t be “from scratch” (despite baking from scratch for years because of veganism- admittedly though, my mom created it and I would just put it in the oven), so I’ve been baking without thinking “oh well I have to post this” no. I don’t. And I don’t need it to taste or look perfect, it’s just fun. I also want to try coloring books next; which I always waved off because I felt “well I should be drawing this myself not just coloring in the lines” so what I’m saying is, I’ve been missing out on good because I’m aiming for perfect. I will continue working on this without an end goal. It’s continuous and that’s GOOD.