Santa Barbara Humane

We’re not saying the original Alvin was secretly replaced. We’re just saying you should look at the evidence.

For decades, the public has been led to believe that Alvin, frontman of The Chipmunks, is a chipmunk. And yet five-year-old Alvin currently resides at our Santa Barbara Campus, is quite clearly a cat, and answers to the same name. Coincidence? That’s what they want you to think.

Consider the clues. Original Alvin wore a red shirt with a giant “A.” New Alvin has a white chest shaped vaguely like something if you stare at it long enough. Original Alvin sang in an unusually high voice. New Alvin also makes noises. Original Alvin was known for causing trouble. New Alvin is playful. WAKE UP, PEOPLE.

Simon and Theodore have refused to comment. Dave insists Alvin has “always been a chipmunk,” which frankly sounds exactly like something a man involved in a decades-long entertainment-industry cover-up would say.

What we can confirm is that Alvin is playful, cuddly, and loving, although he can be shy when meeting someone new. We can neither confirm nor deny that he has been secretly fronting The Chipmunks for years.

The truth is out there. And apparently, it’s available for adoption.

We are open for adoptions from 12 to 4:30 PM every day except Wednesdays.

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