2 hours agokristinacge23
It’s nature and nurture. My 18 month old daughter is SO observant with things that my son simply wasn’t at that age. My son is now very empathetic and helpful, but that took a LOT of work and nurture. “We are helpers. We help others. In our family, we _____”. Really drilling it into him that we pay attention to and help others. My daughter? Does it naturally with none of that. Like at 9 months she was crawling to and trying to take care of a 6 month old baby. Boys need MORE of it for sure. But we can’t just say girls are this way because we teach it to them more. I think they learn it naturally and with less repetitions, whereas boys are wired differently and need a lot of repetitions and lessons to frame it well.
3 hours agowandering.jules07
Yes! Parenting both is so wild because you have to parent them so differently, with almost the opposite messages. At least that’s been my experience.
3 hours agomamareaux
Idk I think these tend to be because of how society tells us to be towards boys vs girls from the moment they're born. the very clothes and messages on them, the way parents are spoken to by others depending on what you have, etc. My son is very empathetic and is able to notice things around him and is very grounding for others. My daughters are definitely empathetic as well and big helpers just like their brother and they also have a little more spice than their brother. They come by it naturally where he is a quieter soul.
4 hours agowesbuc
“it’s important to raise girls to understand what’s going on inside of them” … absolutely. But the meaningful intervention against patriarchy is actually to encourage this in boys so often being told not to.
4 hours agoandrea_perera
I love this insight! Women are struggling so much to explain what we need from men and boys and the opposite is true too; men and boys aren’t sure what to do differently.
6 hours agocrystalthethird
When I was… maybe 9 or 10, my brother (7 or 8 at the time), who had regular tantrums, absolutely blew up, bit my shoulder and broke skin, drew blood. Our sitter separated us, took us home, got him calmed down in front of the tv and let me go to my room and draw (my preferred activity). Yet somehow, when my parents got home it was also my fault. I had to apologize for not wanting to do whatever he wanted to do (the cause of the blow up). This happened numerous times over the years of us living together! Even as we got older, I’d be the target of his anger and I would have to apologize for it. “If you just go along with what he wants to do, this wouldn’t happen. And who knows, you might have fun.” Was basically what I was told. It wasn’t until I was out of the house and he had a melt down with only my dad home that they realized it wasn’t solely me. My dad called me at college (about 40 minutes away), shaken, asking me to come home because my brother was acting crazy and he was about to call the police because he was threatening to jump off the roof (one story up - not entirely dangerous but not ideal). When I got home, police and ambulance were already there, there was a hole in the wall from where he was banging his head, my dad said “go talk to him, maybe you can help.” I looked at him like he was nuts. Me, the person who supposedly triggers him the most, is supposed to fix it now. I sat on the bed with my brother and said “you okay?” He said “yeah. I guess so.” And I told him he had to go to the hospital. They put him on a voluntary hold for 24 hours and then *finally* got him into anger management therapy. Things still aren’t great between the two of us - I never got the apology i actually deserved. But we all kind of act like nothing bad ever happened and I’m still expected to show up for him and do the things he wants us to do. 🤷♀️
6 hours agojocelyneatsandcooks
💯 My kids. My son isn’t as mindful of his environment. He does what he does — act out, talk loudly, talk non-stop, etc. My daughter who is more introverted notices everything even when I think she isn’t! She’ll ask/talk about it with me later. She adjusts herself accordingly to her environment.
6 hours agoshelt_2.0
At the end of the day who cares. Everyone is average and just doing the best they can this app has way too many opinions on everything in reality most people are normal regular people with regular lives and the kids will be fine.
9 hours agoplayschoolplayhouse
So the real answer is to raise both the same. Raise both to be emotionally intelligent, to thoughtfully yet clearly speak their minds and embrace who they are.
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