11 days ago
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Posted On: October 16th 2026, 03:51 am
OUR 5 YEAR OLD DOESN’T GO HIKING.
He embarks on an epic quest to destroy the One Ring.
Every uphill climb is the treacherous path to Mordor. Every fallen branch is a weapon. Every rock is a mountain he must conquer. And every 5 minutes, he dramatically announces that he cannot go on.
“WE MUST KEEP GOING, MAMA. MORDOR IS JUST BEYOND THOSE MOUNTAINS.”
Meanwhile, we’re 0.8 miles into a family hike, carrying his water bottle, snacks, and approximately 47% of his body weight.
One does not simply take a 5-year-old hiking.
He embarks on an epic quest to destroy the One Ring.
Every uphill climb is the treacherous path to Mordor. Every fallen branch is a weapon. Every rock is a mountain he must conquer. And every 5 minutes, he dramatically announces that he cannot go on.
“WE MUST KEEP GOING, MAMA. MORDOR IS JUST BEYOND THOSE MOUNTAINS.”
Meanwhile, we’re 0.8 miles into a family hike, carrying his water bottle, snacks, and approximately 47% of his body weight.
One does not simply take a 5-year-old hiking.
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