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Pam Reed Baker

@pambakerofficial

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Aries girl ♈️
Entrepreneur
Author
Podcaster
Public Speaker

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I was thinking about an old story the other day and realized I couldn't remember all the details.

And for a split second, I wanted to turn to Jon and ask him to fill in the blanks.

Then I remembered.

He's not here to tell me his version anymore.

When we lose our person, we lose more than the memories we carry of them. We lose the memories they carried of us. Their perspective on our life together. The little things they noticed that we may never have known.

My husband knew a version of me I'll never see again.

Five years into grief, I'm still discovering layers of loss I never expected.

I wrote about this one in the latest Widows Who Date. If you've lost someone who knew you best, I hope you'll give it a read. 🩷

🔗 Link in bio.

#WidowsWhoDate #LifeAfterLoss #Widowhood #GriefAndHealing #LoveAfterLoss by @pambakerofficial

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11 hours ago

I may be biased but I think I have the coolest cat ever - and I don’t think he’s thrilled that I’m leaving. 🤔 by @pambakerofficial

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a day ago

I don't know how to need someone anymore.

Maybe that's because I've gotten really damn good at not needing anyone.
Widowhood taught me how to handle everything.

And somewhere along the way, independence stopped being just a personality trait.

It became survival muscle.

But what happens when that muscle makes it harder to let someone in?

Because here's the part I didn't expect:

I don't want someone to run my life.

I don't want someone to make my decisions.

I don't want someone to rescue me.

But I miss being taken care of.

And then one morning, there was a cup of coffee sitting beside my bed, made exactly the way I like it.

It was such a tiny thing.

And somehow it wasn't tiny at all.
☕️

This week's Widows Who Date is about independence, vulnerability, interdependence, and whether we can let someone into the life we've worked so hard to build without losing ourselves in the process.

I really miss that coffee.

Read it through the link in my bio. 🩷

#WidowsWhoDate #Widowhood #DatingAfterLoss #LifeAfterLoss #WidowLife #StartingOver #WomenOver50 #DatingAfterWidowhood by @pambakerofficial

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15 days ago

If you see this beauty today (you won’t because she’s living her best life in Portugal) wish her a HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!! Happy happy birthday to my favorite girl! I love love love you with all that I have and am so proud of your smart, fierce, wild, independent self. May this year be the best one yet…it’s certainly tracking for that already. Love you Beanie! Xoxo 😘😘😘 by @pambakerofficial

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21 days ago

Five years.

That’s how long it had been since a man had lived under my roof—even temporarily.

Then I put one there.

And apparently, I had no idea what that would stir up.

Not just for me.

For my kids.
For my family.
For the man himself.
And for the part of me that had become very comfortable being completely in charge of my own life.

There were moments that were awkward. Some that were hilarious. Some that were uncomfortable as hell.

And somewhere in the middle of all of it, I started asking a much bigger question:

Who am I when I’m no longer the only person making the rules?

This week’s Widows Who Date is live.

Link in bio.

#WidowsWhoDate #WidowLife #DatingAfterLoss #LifeAfterLoss #Widowhood StartingOver WomenOver50 DatingAgain by @pambakerofficial

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21 days ago

What happens when a 22-year-old has already experienced an extraordinary amount of loss?

You might expect fear.

Madelyn Agostini chose something different.

She chose YOLO baby!

After losing nine young people in her extended circle, along with my husband Jon, her uncle and godfather, Madelyn has decided that life is too short to spend waiting for something bad to happen.

She's studied abroad twice. ✈️
She wants to see the world. 🌎
She's considering becoming a flight attendant.

And she's determined to LIVE.

But this conversation isn't just about her positive outlook. We talk about grief, mental health, therapy, friendship, asking for help, and the little things that have helped her get from some very dark places to where she is today.

And one of my favorite parts?

She believes we should keep talking about the people we've lost.

Tell the stories.
Share the memories.
Send the song that reminds you of them.

Because the relationship doesn't disappear just because the person does.

🎙️ *The Lost Love Stories with Madelyn Agostini* is out now. Link in bio

Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/alIRfcnc1B0

#TheLostLoveStories #YoungGrief #GriefJourney #LifeAfterLoss #GriefAndHealing #YoungAdults #LivingInThePresent #FindingJoy #Resilience #RememberingLovedOnes #KeepLiving #YOLO #youarenotalone by @pambakerofficial

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23 days ago

I forgot my anniversary.

Not intentionally.

I just…forgot.

No countdown.
No dread.
No Facebook post.
No wondering how I was supposed to feel.

I didn't even realize what day it was until my sister-in-law texted:

“Thinking about you today.”

And suddenly I wondered:

Maybe I wasn't forgetting Jon.

Maybe I was simply forgetting that I was supposed to remember the date.

Those are two very different things.

This week's Widows Who Date is about grief, rituals, guilt, freedom—and what happens when you realize you don't have to keep marking the calendar forever.

Link in bio by @pambakerofficial

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a month ago

Your life is yours. ❤️

That might be my favorite takeaway from my conversation with Katherine Hanniford.

After spending six years caring for her husband Ken following a devastating cardiac arrest, Katherine eventually asked herself:

What do I want my life to look like now?

She moved from Georgia to Delaware, retired, built a new community—and is now, as she says, living her best life.

Does she wish Ken were still here? Absolutely.

But moving forward doesn't mean leaving him behind.

This is a beautiful conversation about grief, starting over, finding joy again—and giving yourself permission to build the life you want.

And Katherine has one more message I love:

Be the person.
The one who checks in.
The one who asks about their person.
The one who makes space to talk.

🎙️ *The Lost Love Stories with Katherine Hanniford and her husband Ken* is out now.

Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube https://youtu.be/X60TtUHyH4Q

#TheLostLoveStories #LifeAfterLoss #Widowhood #GriefJourney #FindingJoyAfterLoss #StartingOver #GriefAndHealing #CaregivingJourney #LossOfASpouse #Resilience #LifeAfterGrief by @pambakerofficial

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a month ago

Ugh!! It’s here….the last of the cap and gown photo sessions for the Baker crew. Despite my previous practice rounds, it didn’t feel one bit easier! My little (not so) chunky monkey is getting ready to fly the coop. 🥺 by @pambakerofficial

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a month ago

😂 Sometimes a terrible first date turns into a 46-year love story.

In this clip from The Lost Love Stories, @bob.hope tells the story of his first date with his wife, Susan.

His choice?

The opera. 🎭

Let's just say Susan had some thoughts about his threat to excitedly yell "Bravo". 😂

And yet...

They went on to spend 46 years together. ❤️

I absolutely love hearing these stories because when someone dies, we tend to focus so much on the loss that we forget about the beginning.

The first dates.

The awkward moments.

The stories that become legendary over the years.

The little things that eventually become part of your story together.

Susan's story didn't begin with illness or end with loss.

She lived an entire, funny, adventurous, generous, beautiful life—and this first-date story is one of my favorite glimpses into the beginning of it all. 🤍

🎙️ Watch the clip and then tell me...

What was your worst—or most memorable—first date? 😂👇

Podcast and Youtube links in bio.

#TheLostLoveStories #LoveStory #FirstDateStory #RelationshipStories #LoveAndLoss #RememberingLovedOnes #LegacyOfLove #Storytelling #PodcastClip #PodcastLife #LifeAfterLoss by @pambakerofficial

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a month ago

Does dating after loss require an end game?

Maybe not every date needs to lead to a relationship.

Maybe not every connection needs a destination.

Maybe there are no wins or failures.

Just experiences.
Just adventures.
Just fun.

And maybe, if we're willing to let go of the plan, we'll discover some really great places we never even imagined we'd go. 🩷

Happy adventuring, my friends!

This week's Widows Who Date is live. Link in bio. ✨

#WidowsWhoDate #DatingAfterLoss #LoveAfterLoss #Widowhood #LifeAfterLoss #DatingOver50 by @pambakerofficial

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2 months ago

✨ **THE LOST LOVE STORIES IS BACK!** ✨

And this one is VERY close to my heart. ❤️

I sat down with my dear friend Bob Hope to talk about his wife, Susan—and their 46 years of love, laughter, family, adventure, service, Georgia football, and eventually, loss.

Susan was one of those people who didn't just live a life.

She left a legacy.

Even after her death, her generosity continues through her children, grandchildren, friends, and the people she touched along the way.

But there's another reason this conversation is so meaningful to me.

When Jon died, Bob reached out. He checked on me. He understood.

And when I was completely joyless and couldn't imagine what life was supposed to look like without Jon, Bob told me:

"You need Honduras, and Honduras needs you."

I went.

And that trip changed me.

So yes, this is a story about losing someone you love.

But it's also a story about finding your way back to joy.

About carrying someone with you instead of trying to leave them behind.

About the beautiful, unexpected ways our lost loves continue to shape our lives.

🎧 The Lost Love Stories with Bob Hope and his wife Susan: The Journey Back to Joy After Loss

Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Link in bio. 🤍. Watch on Youtube: https://youtu.be/zpxJwXjr1b8

#TheLostLoveStories #GriefJourney #LifeAfterLoss #HealingAfterLoss #FindingJoyAfterLoss #HopeAfterLoss #LoveAfterLoss #LegacyOfLove #RememberingLovedOnes #GriefAndHealing #GriefPodcast #StoriesOfLoss #PodcastRecommendations #LossOfASpouse #LivingWithGrief by @pambakerofficial

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2 months ago