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paramourblue

@paramourblue

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It’s been one week today since my sweet Lucy was liberated from her ailing body. We only had about 6 years together, and I wish we could have had 6 more. I take comfort knowing that even though @friends4lifeorg rescued her, I rescued her from there because she was a sassy senior black cat that lived there for over a year.

From the start she was loyal and loving and very much demanding of food and respect of her boundaries. She would sleep above my head on my pillow, and she would miss me so much when I was out of town that she would make herself sick. So I didnt like to travel too much too often.

Lucy had breast cancer that was likely caused by a prolonged exposure to high levels of estrogen from not being fixed the majority of her life. I did everything I could to help her. She had one surgery to remove 3 masses and about 7 months later had a bi lateral mastectomy. They were successful to an extent, but I was told it wouldn’t be enough to save her. I decided to forgo chemo because her oncology surgeon said it would “only prolong and not cure” her. She was given 6 months in November and I didnt want her last 6 months by my side to be stressful and full of meds that make her feel bad.

So i tried to make her comfortable and let her know everyday how much I love her. The end always comes suddenly and without warning even when you’ve been preparing for months. Anticipatory grief is a motherfucker, but nothing compared to sobbing at her vet’s office watching the light swiftly fade from your friend’s eyes.

I took a week off from work, but I wish I could take one more. Each day now I’m wondering..is today the day the vet calls and I can go pick up the little box of her remains? I’m trying my best, but every day is different. Some days I go all day without crying, but then I look at the beginnings of the alter I’m making for her. Her favorite toys (from when she still had energy to play) her inhalers (she also developed asthma) and some of her whiskers.

I’ll miss her sweet old lady meows, nuzzling the fur between her head and shoulder, having her sit on the armrest behind me or the back of the couch while I watch a movie, and her svelte lil black cat energy by @paramourblue

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6 months ago

Oh shit! It’s been too long since I’ve visited my hometown of San Antonio, so I planned a real chill lil weekend for myself and @cowboykaiju

In no particular order…

@theranchmotel
@conhuevostacos
@raysdriveinn
@bestqualitydaughter
@jueletbar
@sanantoniojapaneseteagarden
@missionsnps
@hogwildrecords
@threestarbar
@elparaisoicecream
@hugmansoasissa
@libertybarsa by @paramourblue

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4 months ago

Incredibly gorgeous and sweaty day @houstonarboretum with my sweet @cowboykaiju by @paramourblue

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5 months ago

A gorgeous day to spot a few broad banded water snakes at Eastern Glades taken in Eastern Glades, Memorial Park by @paramourblue

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9 months ago

Armadingdong

You’re welcome taken in Houston Arboretum & Nature Center by @paramourblue

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a year ago

I’ve decided to make an annual trip to the North/Northeast every year. I miss all the cozy feelings, leaf peepin, apple cider donuts and nature walks.

Thank you @honeysayswoof for hosting me for nearly a week and being so hospitable. I’ll miss our slow mornings with plates of fresh fruit and mugs of hot green tea, cuddling with Honey, making food for each other and great conversations. Next time won’t be six years from now I promise! taken in Troy, New York by @paramourblue

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a year ago

Everyone tell @cowboykaiju Happy Birthday!

I love celebrating my favorite person’s bday! Every day I’m thankful for him as a partner. He’s kind, generous, patient, understanding, goofy, has great taste in nearly everything and gosh darn it, I just love everything about my sweet nerdy boyfrand! by @paramourblue

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2 years ago

Sittin under a tree at the cemetery taken in Forest Hills Cemetery by @paramourblue

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2 years ago

Here’s a long ass reel to recap my visit to Boston w Jared 🍁

Anyone close to me knows that my 6 1/2 years living there was VERY hard for me. I spent a lot of time alone. Exploring, hiking, wandering the streets and enjoying living in New England was all very magical and that beauty was the only thing that kept me half way sane.

I’ve been wanting to visit for so long, because I love it so much, and I’m glad Jared was there to have fun with me. We hit up some of my favorite places in JP and the North End and hung out in Cambridge a few times too.

Next time we’ll rent a car so we can go hiking and maybe to N Adams to visit @massmoca

I’m glad I’m with someone spontaneous who loves to travel and explore like I do 🖤 taken in City Feed and Supply by @paramourblue

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2 years ago

Gorgeous Black Swallowtail butterflies on my Texas Lilac by @paramourblue

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2 years ago

Beautiful Earth Day adventure with my honey 💖 taken in Brazos Bend State Park by @paramourblue

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2 years ago

Beautiful Coral snake spotted as soon as we stepped off the trail. Jared continuously saves me from myself and my space cadet yeehaw presence in nature. Yes, I almost stepped on another poisonous snake taken in Houston Arboretum and Nature Center by @paramourblue

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3 years ago