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jessica

@pcelovedesign

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designer at @projrescue, fur mum to @thejaxdiaries, tequila + kahlua, jesus follower, 3x marathoner, michigan football lover, wifey to BT, ivf warrior

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on sunday, i’ll toe the line of my first race in over 340 days.

the last time i raced, we hadn’t started ivf yet. my abdomen wasn’t covered in bruises from injections. i hadn’t gained 15 pounds from all the medications. i hadn’t lost all my energy. i hadn’t experienced my second miscarriage. i didn’t know i’d be canceling half a year of races because of fertility procedures.

i had no idea, when i crossed that finish line, that the next eleven months would be a grueling cycle of stop-and-go training that failed far more often than it succeeded. i didn’t know running would look so different the next time i raced.

and here i am.

ready as i can be, given the circumstances. grateful as hell for the opportunity to even show up.

in racing, in fertility, in life:
the only way out is through.

#ivfjourney #ivfrunner #runspiration #runner #fertilityjourney by @pcelovedesign

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15 days ago

joined a run club. feeling oddly myself for a moment. might chase away the demons. might get crazy and actually train for something.

😵‍💫

#ivfrunner #runnergirl #runspiration #marathonrunner #ivfjourney by @pcelovedesign

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2 months ago

not easy photos to revisit but still an important part of the story. 🧡 6.12.26

#ivfjourney #ivf #embaby #infertilityawareness #rainbowhope by @pcelovedesign

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3 months ago

i was dreading this photoshoot.

not because i loathe organized photoshoots. not because ivf meds had me feeling extra puffy.

but because, up until june 22, i had planned for one of these photos to become our little “surprise... we’re pregnant!” announcement.

this journey has been filled with cancelled plans, but this was, by far, the hardest one.

we saw a positive test on my birthday following our first embryo transfer. when you’ve been through infertility, you learn to protect your heart. our first beta came back low, and over the next few days we watched my hcg continue to fall, ending in a chemical pregnancy.

we’ve been here before.
but this loss feels different.

maybe it’s because so much hope was wrapped up in this one. maybe it’s because there’s a finite number of embryos left. maybe it’s because each loss changes you in ways you never expected.

infertility is like an onion. every step peels back another layer. sometimes it’s painful, but sometimes it reveals the next step you need to take. since this was our second loss, our next step is more testing: bloodwork, biopsies, and searching for answers that we hope will bring us one step closer to bringing a baby home.

if you’re walking this road too, or if you’ve walked it before, i want you to know this:
you are an absolute warrior. you are stronger than you probably give yourself credit for. and on the days when hope feels impossibly heavy, i hope you remember that you don’t have to carry it alone.

and because i don’t want this post to end only in sadness... peep the last slide for the sweetest nursery artwork my absolute gem of a husband surprised me with. i’d be so incredibly lost without him. ❤️

📸: the talented @court_smith0614

#ivf #ivfjourney #fertility #family #fertilityjourney by @pcelovedesign

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3 months ago

not sure what i did in this life to deserve friends like this. forever grateful for sunsets, sandy feet, good wine and my best friends.

girls trip 2026 was one for the books 🫶🏼

#bestfriends #myvillage #saugatuck #lakemichigan #summer taken in Saugatuck, Michigan by @pcelovedesign

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4 months ago

happy mother’s day to the woman who made me want to be a mom in the first place. 🤍

growing up with a mother like mine showed me what love, sacrifice, patience, faith, and support look like. and through every step of this infertility journey, she has continued to be exactly that for me. the phone calls, the prayers, the encouragement after hard appointments, the hope she carries for us even on the days it feels heavy… i don’t know what i would do without her.

one thing this journey has taught me is that there are no guarantees. you start out thinking, “maybe we just need this medication.” then, “maybe this procedure will work.” then, “surely an iui will do it.” and eventually ivf enters the picture — something so many people see as a guarantee, when in reality it is another road filled with waiting, uncertainty, hope, grief, and courage.

but through all of it, i keep coming back to this: i believe god placed this desire in our hearts for a reason. i don’t know what the story looks like yet, or when it will unfold, but i know he is good. and i know he is faithful in every season — even the painful and uncertain ones.

today i’m celebrating all mothers and mother hearts:
the moms raising babies,
the women longing for babies,
the ivf warriors,
the women grieving losses,
the adoptive and foster moms,
the stepmoms,
the spiritual moms,
the grandmas,
the women waiting,
and the women who carry love and nurturing in countless unseen ways.

happy mother’s day. 🤍

#mothers #ivf #ivfjourney #mothersday by @pcelovedesign

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5 months ago

it’s national infertility awareness week 🧡

if you’re walking through infertility: you don’t have to carry it alone or suffer in silence. reach out to someone you trust. join a support group. send me a DM.

if you know someone who is going through it: just be there, that’s enough.

sending hugs to everyone walking this road 🧡

#infertility #infertilityawareness #niaw #pregnancyloss #fertility by @pcelovedesign

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6 months ago

she forgot to say “pick the one that farts a lot” 😂 jokes aside, our first two years of marriage hasn’t been overly kind to us, it’s tested us in ways i never could’ve imagined. but amidst the trials and challenges, ive never been so sure of the fact that i chose the right teammate to go to hell and back with. i love you BMT, happy two years ❤️ by @pcelovedesign

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6 months ago

the outcome may still be unknown but we trust the one who holds it. through the desert not to the desert.

#faithoverfear #godwithus #donotbeafraid #ivf #infertility by @pcelovedesign

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8 months ago

a little #fridayfreelance fun 💍

#graphicdesign #photoshop #jewelrydesign by @pcelovedesign

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8 months ago

my parents sold our childhood home last year after the house across from our new build unexpectedly came on the market. while we’re so grateful to have them as neighbors now, there’s still a quiet grief that comes with letting go of a place that held so much of who we were.

my insanely talented brother stitched together recent footage of the farnum house with our old home videos as a christmas gift for my parents. little did he know he created something far bigger… a keepsake for all of us, and a reminder that even when places change, the love inside them never does.

🎥: @thesmiths.film
#home #homevideo #memories taken in Royal Oak, Michigan by @pcelovedesign

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9 months ago

in sickness and in health. through hell or high water. in home building and football season. through miscarriage and now ivf. maybe those weren’t the exact words, but they were always part of the promise we made, whether we realized it at the time or not.

later this month, we’ll continue our journey toward building our family with our first round of ivf. it’s a bittersweet decision. part of me is absolutely dreading it. if you know me, you know needles and i are not friends, and there are a lot of needles ahead. ivf is hard on your body, your emotions, your relationship, and your checkbook. it’s a lot. and i’d be lying if i said i was excited about the road itself.

but on the flip side, we feel incredibly blessed to even be candidates for this process, to be able to consider the financial commitment, and to have each other. our desire to be parents runs deep enough that we’re willing to climb whatever mountains stand in the way.

i’ve been shaped by adversity before, refined by fire and strengthened through hard seasons, and i know i can do hard things. especially with my husband by my side and the lord guiding our path.

so buckle up. 2026 is going to be a wild one.

#ivf #ivfjourney #ivfrunner #ttc #ttccommunity by @pcelovedesign

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9 months ago