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persikovyiy

@persikovyiy

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ps. it’s a really rough one, so beware😭 [20.12.2024] I am waiting for a message from the man who would be perfect. I don’t need to do anything, he will come himself and I hope he will come as soon as possible so I am checking for it all the time. ¶ I get disappoint when I get no message. ¶ I am looking. And I am thinking that I should be getting the message, and if I am not, I think there is something wrong. Like I am not beautiful enough for the message. Or I do something wrong. I am the reason, I am the problem for getting treated this way. Or that noone hits on me, so I need to change something in myself for people to like me. I am the problem. ¶ I am hoping for someone to prove these thoughts wrong. With their message. With their dick. With their roughness. With their carelessness about me or my well-being, safety, happiness, health, needs, desires, boundaries, noes and yeses. ¶ it was never about me it was never about me it was never about me being pretty or special it was never about the connection, or an accident or fate it was never about my goodness or badness it was never about my body or face or dick or ass but, what was it for me about, though? but, what about was it for me, though? by @persikovyiy

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a month ago

so, I did run away by @persikovyiy

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a month ago

[06.09.2026] And every time I find myself to be slightly attracted to men or if I catch a feeling of interest in men, I get posessed by this monstrous and eternal and hopeless and miserable and suffocating and all-consuming feeling of nothing. and no matter how hard I try I can never escape it. it’s built into me. it is me. if I were to escape it, I’d have to give myself away. And the worst about it is the expectation of happiness. You think you can be like them, not to be an imposter, you really try to be them. But this feeling is the exact thing that will never make you them. That’s why I’ll never find happiness in love. I’ll find my own happiness, but it’s not gonna be the one they taught me. by @persikovyiy

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a month ago

[18.12.2024] sometimes there is no explaining. sometimes it’s not about what I did or who I am. things just happen and there is no reason behind them. life is uncontrollable and illogical. by @persikovyiy

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3 months ago

[25.7.2024] I am a human being and I do make mistakes and it has consequences, but this is just life, in the end. I want to just accept it. I want to accept that my actions, whether they are intentional or accidental, they have consequences. It doesn’t make me a bad person, it makes me a human. It sucks and feels horrible, but it won’t destroy me. by @persikovyiy

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3 months ago

vahkku nummir čiežanuppelohkái by @persikovyiy

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5 months ago

semana número dieciséis by @persikovyiy

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5 months ago

viikko numero viisitoista taken in Marseille, France by @persikovyiy

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5 months ago

week number fourteen taken in Marseille, France by @persikovyiy

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6 months ago

неделя номер тринадцать by @persikovyiy

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6 months ago

by @persikovyiy

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8 months ago

taken in 22 by @persikovyiy

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9 months ago