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Patrick O’Connor

@pjo__

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brooklyn & the catskills but always home
my wife @jules.jacobson

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Too niche? Anybody else do this? by @pjo__

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a month ago

I hate knowing that one day this photo will make me ugly cry…

And the weird thing about pictures is that they freeze a moment that life refuses to let us keep.

My dad will get older.
Coast will get bigger.
I’ll get older (and probably bigger) too.

Everything in this picture will change. Except the picture.

And I think that’s why some photos can hit so hard. They let you visit a version of your life that no longer exists.

One day, I’ll look at this and wish I could go back to this exact moment.

Not because anything extraordinary was happening.

Just because we were all there. Together.

And I hope when that day comes, I don’t just feel sadness.

I hope I feel incredibly grateful

Grateful that I got to be a son to my dad, a dad to Coast, and somewhere in between, experience this exact moment with both of them.

Because life moves too quickly.

And maybe that’s why we take pictures in the first place.

Not to post them.
Not to get likes.
Not even to capture the perfect moment.

so years from now, we can look at a single frame and remember exactly what it felt like to be there.

So keep taking the pictures. Not for today, but for the version of you who will someday wish you could go back. by @pjo__

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a month ago

A year ago today, I went for a run.

I had been telling myself I was going to start running for a while. I just kept waiting until I was in better shape, had more time, had a better routine, or whatever other excuse seemed reasonable at the time.

Eventually, I realized there probably wasn’t going to be a perfect time.

So I went.

I think about a story I heard about a 77-year-old man who went to his first AA meeting.

Someone asked him why he waited until he was 77 to finally go.

His response was something like, “I’m 77. I’ve got less time left than I’ve already had. I don’t want to waste any more of it.”

I don’t know if that story is completely true, but I love the idea behind it.

Because there is always going to be a reason to wait.

You’ll be too busy.
You’ll be too tired.
You won’t be ready.
You’ll tell yourself you’ll start Monday.

And then Monday becomes next month, and next month becomes next year.

A year ago, I wasn’t a runner. I just decided that I didn’t need to be one before I started.

There is no perfect time.

There is only time, and what you decide to do with it. by @pjo__

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a month ago

becoming a dad didn’t mean my life stopped being mine, just gave everything I do a little different meaning. by @pjo__

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2 months ago

Why did I get a tattoo in Japan that translates to “maybe”?

There’s an ancient parable about a farmer whose horse runs away.

His neighbors tell him, “What terrible luck.”

He simply says, “Maybe.”

A few days later, the horse returns with several wild horses.

“Wow, what good fortune,” his neighbors say.

“Maybe,” he replies.

Then his son tries to tame one of the horses, falls off, and breaks his leg.

“What terrible luck.”

“Maybe.”

Soon after, the army comes through the village, taking every able-bodied young man to war. Because of his broken leg, his son is left behind.

“What good fortune.”

“Maybe.”

And it goes on.

I love this story because we are constantly trying to decide what things mean in life before we actually know what they mean. We jump so quickly to conclusions without letting things play out.

Something happens and we immediately label it good or bad. A door closes and we call it a loss. A door opens and we call it an opportunity. Lyrics from a song I like say, “a broken heart might clear your vision.”

Something goes wrong and we assume the story is over.

But maybe it isn’t.

Maybe things aren’t always good or bad when they happen. Maybe they’re just things that happen.

A failure can become the thing that changes everything.
A rejection can put you somewhere you never would have gone otherwise.
A setback can eventually become the reason you grew.

We are so quick to close the book on a moment and decide what it meant.

“Maybe” reminds me to leave the ending open.

Not everything needs to make sense right away.

Not everything needs to be labeled.

Sometimes the most honest answer to life is simply: maybe. taken in Niseko, Hokkaido, Japan（ニセコ） by @pjo__

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2 months ago

you’re either running towards it or away from it taken in Kyoto, Japan by @pjo__

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2 months ago

If it feels good, carry on. If not, move on.

Little Japan dump. by @pjo__

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2 months ago

kyoto really is something special taken in 京都 Kyoto, Japan by @pjo__

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2 months ago

stop waiting, start doing.

Yes, coast won’t remember this trip. But this trip isn’t for his memories. It’s for ours :)

As I’ve thought about all the people who’ve said, “He won’t even remember this trip,” I’ve realized how much of life we spend waiting for the right time. And I’m guilty of it too.

“I’ll propose when we’re more financially stable. I’ll get in shape next year. I’ll call them next weekend.”

We convince ourselves that life will begin once everything finally lines up. But life isn’t waiting for us.

It’s happening right now. taken in Niseko Green Farm by @pjo__

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2 months ago

your dreams don’t have to be big, but they do have to be yours…

I think one of the easiest things to do is accidentally start living someone else’s definition of a good life.

We (as a whole - myself included) spend so much time seeing what everyone else is chasing that we rarely stop to ask ourselves if we even want the same things. Bigger careers. Bigger houses. Bigger audiences. Bigger wallets. Bigger everything.

it’s easy to confuse admiration with desire.

Just because someone else’s life looks “amazing” doesn’t mean it’s meant for you.

I’ve been trying to pay more attention to what actually makes me feel alive instead of what looks successful from the outside. More time with my family. Building things with my hands. Cooking. Running. Creating. A slower pace.

Those things probably won’t end up on a list of the world’s greatest achievements.

But they make me excited to wake up tomorrow.

I think that’s the point…

Build a life that feels like yours. by @pjo__

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2 months ago

Watching Coast grow has made me realize something I’ve forgotten..

Every day he tries something he’s never done before. He falls. He gets frustrated. He reaches a little farther than he did yesterday. Then he does it all again. There isn’t any embarrassment. There isn’t any fear of looking silly. There’s just curiosity.

Somewhere along the way, we lose that.

We stop trying things we’re not already good at. We avoid taking risks because failing starts to feel like something to be ashamed of instead of something to expect. We trade curiosity for comfort.

Learning to swim might be one of the first memories most of us have of discovering that growth is uncomfortable. You don’t magically know how. You kick a little. You sink a little. You try again. Then one day you’re swimming without even thinking about it.

It reminds me of a version of myself that wasn’t afraid to be a beginner.

Lately I’ve been trying to find that kid again. The one who didn’t need to have it all figured out before starting. The one who wasn’t afraid to make something bad before making it good. The one who understood that every person you admire was once doing something for the very first time.

Maybe growing up isn’t about having all the answers.

Maybe it’s about remembering how to learn. How to take risks. How to fail without letting it define you. How to stay curious enough to keep becoming someone new.

I hope I never stop being a beginner. by @pjo__

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3 months ago

a year and a half ago Jules and I bought a little house in upstate NY…

We had been searching for over five years. Seven rejected offers. One house we thought was finally ours, only to lose it to an all-cash private equity buyer. By the time we found this place, it felt like maybe it was finally meant to be.

Then, before we had even really begun, everything went sideways.

The first time we came back to visit the house after closing, we found out a pipe had burst. Three stories flooded. Water everywhere. Insurance denied the claim. It felt like the dream we’d spent years chasing was slipping away before we even got to experience it.

At the same time, Jules was pregnant. We found out our little guy wasn’t growing the way he should…diagnosed with IUGR and making it a high-risk pregnancy. Week after week was filled with appointments, uncertainty, and more worry than we’d ever known. Thankfully, today he’s healthy, happy, and still proving that being small doesn’t mean being any less mighty.

We renovated this house while carrying all of that but trying to stay loyal to the dream we envisioned. We celebrated wins here. We cried here. We questioned whether we’d made the right decision more times than we can count. We learned new skills, made plenty of mistakes, and kept moving forward one project at a time.

I know our renovations aren’t everyone’s style. We read the comments. We know some people hate what we’ve done. And that’s okay.

But when we look at this house, we don’t just see paint colors, wood, or tile. We see everything it took to get here. We see five years of waiting. We see flood damage. We see doctor’s appointments. We see sleepless nights, hard conversations, scraped knuckles, and a whole lot of hope.

This house isn’t special because it’s perfect. It’s special because of the life that was built alongside it. by @pjo__

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3 months ago