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Patrick Moloney

@plumyoni

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This won’t be for everyone.
It might be exactly what someone needs.
➖
Kerry, Ireland

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I think it’s important to talk about how women are treated and for men to be part of this conversation.

Seeing people speak about it recently brought back something I witnessed when I was sixteen and it has always stayed with me.

The fellas involved are fathers now.
I don’t know whether they ever think about that night but I hope they’re teaching their children differently.

That includes teaching them to speak up when their friends mistreat someone.
Being part of the group shouldn’t mean going along with it. taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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13 days ago

I’ve spoken a lot about therapy over the last few years because it’s played a huge part in rebuilding my life.

I’m not making this post to tell anyone they should go to therapy.

I’m making it because I don’t think enough men know this is available.

The HSE are now offering 6 free counselling sessions for men aged 18 and over through MyMind.

The sessions can be done face to face, online or over the phone.

To access them, you’ll need to:
• Book an appointment with your GP.
• Ask about the MyMind counselling programme.
• If you’re eligible, your GP will refer you.
• You can then arrange your sessions with MyMind.

I spent a while trying to make sense of the HSE website, so I thought I’d put the information here instead.

If this isn’t something you’d ever use, that’s completely okay.

But I’d nearly guarantee you know one man who might be glad to know it’s there. taken in Killarney, Co.kerry by @plumyoni

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3 months ago

I never thought I’d find freedom in admitting my shame.

For years I carried around this fear of what people thought of me. Not because anyone was necessarily saying anything to my face but because I came back to the town I grew up in and felt like a failure.

People hear things, stories get passed around, assumptions are made.
Before long, people know bits of your life without knowing your life.
The strange thing is that the shame wasn’t really coming from them.
It was always coming from me.
I knew what I’d been through.
I knew the mistakes I’d made.
I knew the pain I’d caused myself and the people around me.

So every time I walked down the street, I wasn’t really carrying their judgement.
I was carrying my own.

Talking about it changed that.
Not overnight and not because everyone suddenly understood me but because I stopped hiding from it.

Once I was able to tell the truth about my life, the good and the bad, I no longer felt like I had to spend my energy protecting myself from it.
People are still entitled to their opinions of me.
They always will be.
But at least now they’re hearing the story from the person who actually lived it.

Standing here today, looking at my parents house where I came back from New Zealand, the kitchen where I sat barely able to string a sentence together and the streets I was once terrified to walk down, I realise none of those places have changed.
I have and for the first time in a very long time,
that feels like enough. taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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4 months ago

There’s a relief in hearing the door open and knowing the person you love is home safe.

When my partner goes out with her friends, I want her to have a lovely night.
I wish getting home was something she could take for granted.

I think plenty of people across Ireland know that feeling of waiting and plenty of women know what it’s like to be the person making that journey, thinking about things the rest of us might never have to consider.

Women’s safety matters to me because I love someone who has those worries, but my concern doesn’t stop with her.

I want every woman to get home safe. taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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4 days ago

At the time, I couldn’t imagine feeling any different.

It took years and professional help, but I’m happy now.
I just want someone who’s struggling to know that’s possible. taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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21 days ago

My son knows when my birthday is.

That’s enough for me now. taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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a month ago

I’ll be honest, losing friends when I was at my worst hurt more than I knew how to explain.

These were people I grew up with.
People whose house phone numbers I can still remember.

There were weddings I wasn’t invited to, people coming home and avoiding me and a lot of years where I felt like someone people were better off without.

I understand more of it now.
I was unwell, I was drinking and I know I wasn’t always easy to be around.

But understanding it doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

Sometimes losing your mental health also means losing your place among people you thought would always know you. taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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a month ago

My birthday was a couple of weeks ago but post from New Zealand can take its time.

In seven years, this is the first birthday card I’ve ever received from my son.

Honestly, it could have taken years and I would still have felt the same seeing his name on something with the word love beside it.

It may seem like a small thing but to me, its everything. taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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a month ago

I remember my father nearly crying at this table,
asking me what was wrong with me.

He couldn’t make eye contact with me for a very long time.

I’d just come home from the psychiatric unit.
I was very heavily medicated and could barely speak.

Looking back, there were days I’d come in here because I was so alone and just wanted company.
I couldn’t explain what I was going through.
I didn’t understand it myself and it was a very frustrating time for everyone.

It took years of help and work to begin to understand myself.

I can’t put into words how lucky I feel to sit here and laugh with my parents again. taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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18 days ago

My father may never spend time with his grandson again,
but he still gets time with his son by @plumyoni

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3 months ago

I know what it’s like to be deeply unhappy with yourself.
I spent years feeling that way, drinking and struggling to understand what was going on in my own head.

I’ve also never understood how one bad experience with a woman can turn into resentment towards women in general.

I’ve heard plenty men say,

“Women are all the same.”

I wonder how much of that anger has absolutely nothing to do with women.

I believe strongly in supporting men’s mental health.
I’ve needed that support myself.

I also think we need to be honest about how our own unhappiness can affect people who have done absolutely nothing to deserve it.

There are women carrying the weight of things that were never theirs to begin with. taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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20 hours ago

This year it’s nice to be able to say this out loud taken in Killarney, Ireland by @plumyoni

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4 months ago