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Abu Sohel

@queerpolyenbybisch

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Trans, Atheist, Anti-Caste, Anarchist, Neurodivergent
🕊️ Free Palestine 🇵🇸
Writer n Director of @mehroon.shortfilm

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Dear Upper Caste Bengali Hindus, where does your anti-caste politics go during Durga Puja?

If your progressivism cannot survive Durga Puja, perhaps it was never progressivism to begin with.

You cannot aestheticise oppression and expect the oppressed to applaud.

As a Bahujan person, I refuse to suspend my politics for your festivities.

Your festival is not beyond criticism. Your caste privilege is not beyond accountability.

[Anti Caste Politics, Bahujan Resistance, Dalit Bahujan Adivasi, Upper Caste Privilege, Durga Puja Critique, Mahishasur Resistance, Asur Community, Caste Oppression, Brahminism, Caste Accountability, Anti Caste Feminism, Adivasi Rights, Cultural Appropriation, Hindu Nationalism, Caste Injustice, Social Justice, Bahujan Liberation, Political Criticality, Bengali Hindu Culture, Decolonial Resistance]

#AntiCaste #BahujanResistance #DalitBahujanAdivasi #CastePrivilege #Mahishasur by @queerpolyenbybisch

I am watching The Fellowship of the Ring while the world outside, including some of my closest friends, is out celebrating Durga Puja.

And this is my Durga Puja. The way I choose to celebrate Durga Puja!

Free of Brahminical hegemony. No hate. No bitterness. Just bliss.

Of course, there is a part of me that feels a little abandoned, watching people I love make their own plans. But that's okay. People are allowed to have their own plans.

So tonight, I choose myself. I choose Middle-earth over the crowds, the sweat, the pushing and pulling, and that torturous soundscape. I choose the comfort of my own company, the stories that make me happy, and the freedom to celebrate on my own terms.

I don't have to be everywhere. I don't have to celebrate the way everyone else does.

My Durga Puja doesn't have to look like anyone else's.

Tonight, it's me, The Fellowship of the Ring, and the quiet, radical bliss of being at home with myself.

And honestly? That's a pretty beautiful way to celebrate. ❤️

[Durga Puja, Fellowship Of The Ring, Lord Of The Rings, Queer On Cinema, Cinephile Life, Solo Celebrations, Choosing Myself, Self Love, Personal Freedom, Anti Caste, Brahminical Hegemony, Alternative Celebrations, Middle Earth, Comfort Cinema, Cinema And Culture, Finding Joy, Independent Spirit, Quiet Rebellion, Chosen Happiness, Celebrating Differently]

#QueerOnCinema #DurgaPuja #LordOfTheRings #CinephileLife #ChooseYourOwnJoy by @queerpolyenbybisch

H.O.M.E.

I have missed these people. I have missed this place. The place where I first felt at home.

I have missed the people who made this place home. The people who became siblings in friends, and parents who accepted me for what I am. Who saw me for what I am. Who loved me for what I am.

I have broken and shared bread, again and again, with the people populating these frames. I have gone through some of the worst and some of the best times with them beside me. We have seen some really crazy times together. Some of the people who make up this unit, this family, are missing from these frames, but they are very much there in our hearts.

And now, it is time to invite a new member into our family. To pass the breadbasket, so to speak.

She has made us feel fuller, happier, as though we had always been missing a part of ourselves. And somehow, she feels like someone I have always known. Like the universe brought us all together at precisely the right time.

Family is a very precious thing. And chosen families are infinitely more precious.

Because, at the end of the day, we are all just emo girls and boys asking to be loved.

And chosen families are infinitely more precious precisely because we find something in one another that we lacked in our blood families. Something that was missing. Something that we perhaps did not even know we were looking for.

Chosen families make us feel seen because we have all lost something. And by being together, by choosing one another and being there for one another, we have also gained so much.

Someone once said that every friend brings out a side of another friend that would be lost forever if one of them were to die untimely. That profound thought has stayed with me ever since I first encountered it.

And I think it applies to all of us.

To all of us who make this place home.

To all of us who feel like home.

H.O.M.E.

[Chosen Family, Found Family, Home, Belonging, Friendship, Love, Queer Joy, Queer Community, Family, Siblings, Togetherness, Acceptance, Being Seen, Emotional Intimacy, Shared Memories, Chosen Kinship, Safe Spaces, Human Connection, Homecoming, Family Of Choice]

#ChosenFamily #FoundFamily by @queerpolyenbybisch

SEPTEMBER.

I moved out of my abusive home this month.

For the longest time, I genuinely believed I would die if I ever took one step outside that house. That I wouldn't survive the terror of leaving the only life I had known, however painful it was.

But I took that step.

And I didn't die.

And somewhere in the weeks since, I have begun to realise that survival was only the beginning.

I have started claiming back my body. My mind. My sexuality. My choices. My voice.

I have told myself that I will not censor myself anymore. I will not keep shrinking myself to make other people comfortable. I will not restrict myself from experiencing life in all its terrifying, beautiful fullness.

I want to feel everything.

Love. Lust. Grief. Desire. Heartbreak. Joy. Depression. Tenderness. Anger. Pleasure. Loss.

Everything.

I have been cooking again. Cooking for myself, for my bestie, for the people who have walked into this home. And in doing so, I have rediscovered a part of myself I thought I had lost forever.

My nurturing side.

For a long time I wondered: when would I finally get to escape?

When would I finally get to live?

I used to think freedom meant simply getting out. I was wrong.

Freedom is waking up and realising that your life belongs to you for the first time in your life.

Freedom is discovering that the things you were taught to see as your limitations do not have to define the life you build.

My disabilities don't feel like disabilities anymore.

And perhaps these are the greatest gifts my new home has given me.

The house I came from took so much from me.

Years. Confidence. Trust. Parts of my body and mind. Parts of my ability to love, to desire, to nurture, to simply be.

But this new home, and the people who have populated it with their warmth, have already given me tenfold what I thought I had lost.

And yet, they didn't give me my life back. I took it back.

And for the first time in a very, very long time,

I am not waiting for my life to begin anymore.

I am living it!

[Personal Essay, Healing Journey, Reclaiming Self, New Beginnings, Finding Freedom, Emotional Healing, Chosen Family, Coming Home, Love, Queer On Cinema]

#QueerStories by @queerpolyenbybisch

#lifelessons #safeDrive #blankslatedraws by @queerpolyenbybisch

Hey Sib, Sister, Ally, Chosen Fam and My Dearest Uncompromising Collaborator!

It was your birthday on 23rd and I find myself reminiscing about how we became friends.

I still remember meeting you at Bobo’s shoot, where I was one of the models being photographed by you behind the camera. It was my first modelling assignment, and I remember how comfortable and seen you made me feel that day.

In fact, it was your warmth, charm and kindness that made me gravitate towards you. And then the years passed. You would check in on me from time to time, always asking me when I was finally going to make my first film.

Then I wrote the first draft of Mehroon.

I remember dropping you a text asking if you would be my DOP, and without even properly hearing the idea, you immediately said yes.

You were the very first person to come onboard Mehroon, and my first project became our baby for the next 1 ½ years.

We spoke at length. We went on recess on your car. We smoked some, laughed a lot, sparred some, bugged each other, got on each other’s nerves and had passionate arguments about our individual artistic visions. But every single time we were on the floor, we were on the same page. A unit. A team. No matter how differently we saw things sometimes.

I cannot tell you what a privilege it was to work with you, my close friend and sibling, knowing that you always had my back.

I am so incredibly proud of you and of the person you have become over the years. I am immensely proud of your body of work, of the artist you are, and of the incredible work you continue to do.

You had my back when I was finding my feet.

I will always have yours.

That’s a blood pact.

Belated Happy Birthday, Sib. ❤️

Ps: I keep seeing your red car parked outside our set even now!

[Birthday Tribute, Chosen Family, Found Family, Sisterhood, Friendship, Creative Collaboration, Cinematography, Director Of Photography, Rusha Bose, Filmmaking, Filmmaker, Mehroon, Independent Cinema, Filmmakers Of India, Indian Cinema, Queer Cinema, Artistic Partnership, Creative Community, Film Family]

#ChosenFamily #CreativeCollaboration #Filmmaking #IndependentCinema #Mehroon by @queerpolyenbybisch

I see you! ☺️🌱🫰😁🌞🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈❣️

[First Meeting, Long Time No See, Hey You, Queer Love, Trans Love, Fluidity, Polyamorous, Polyam, Trip, Tripping, Room Date]

#friends #family #meandyou #poly #polyamorous by @queerpolyenbybisch

Joyland is a film about joy as transgression in a society coded with Muslim laws and ethics.

Its characters are repeatedly punished not because they are monstrous. They are punished because they want to. They want to work. To laugh. To love. To desire. To be desired. To dance. To cook. To see the sea. To live.

The film opens with a game of hide and seek as Haider hides beneath a white sheet. Mumtaz ends beneath one. Between those two sheets is a whole life spent looking for the world outside.

Thus there is something special about windows in Joyland. People are always looking outside through windows, as if their desires exist somewhere outside their living space. Even the 4:3 aspect ratio mimics a window.

The children look out of the window. We look at Mumtaz and Haider having a banter through the windows early on. Mumtaz also looks at another man through her binoculars. And perhaps that is what Joyland is really interested in: the possibility of an outside.

Because in this society, no one really has the right to seek autonomy. If they do, like Haider or Mumtaz, they are immediately punished for aspiring to be something else or wanting a better life. This happens repeatedly. Mumtaz is not allowed to work. Fayyaz Aunty is not allowed to desire another man even though she is a widow. Nucchi also asks Allah for forgiveness because in Muslim societies women can't laugh freely.

It's a story about people who want ordinary things in a world that makes even wanting the ordinary feel dangerous. Maybe that's what makes Joyland so devastating.

And perhaps that is what Joyland ultimately asks:

What happens when simply wanting a life of your own becomes an act of transgression?

Keywords:

[Joyland, Saim Sadiq, Pakistani Cinema, Queer Cinema, Trans Cinema, Biba, Mumtaz, Haider, Queer Film Analysis, LGBTQ Cinema, South Asian Cinema, Pakistani Film, Muslim Society, Gender And Sexuality, Patriarchy, Queer Desire, Trans Representation, Cinematic Language, Film Analysis, Cinephilia]

#Joyland #QueerOnCinema #QueerCinema #PakistaniCinema #SouthAsianCinema by @queerpolyenbybisch

Silence has always been the most loyal ally of power. This is a moment that demands conscience, courage, and solidarity. History is watching, and so are those who will inherit the country we leave behind.

[Delhi Protest, State Violence, Police Brutality, Civil Rights, Democracy, Student Movement, People's Resistance, Constitutional Values, Human Rights, Social Justice, Political Accountability, Working Class Solidarity, Youth Movement, Adivasi Rights, Bahujan Voices, Dalit Rights, Muslim Communities, Collective Conscience, Resistance Movement, Hope In Resistance]

#StandWithThePeople #DefendDemocracyb#HumanRights
#JusticeForAll #Resistance by @queerpolyenbybisch

What Sam Neil's Doctor Grant in Jurassic Park teaches us!

°Protection without resentment: Grant never treats the children as burdens. He simply accepts responsibility for their safety when life puts them in his hands.

°Calm under pressure: Even when terrified, he projects confidence because the children need someone to believe in.

°Teaching rather than commanding: He explains, encourages, and trusts them. Whether it's helping Tim understand what to do or reassuring Lex after frightening experiences, he empowers rather than controls.

°Gentleness after fear: One of the film's most touching moments is when the children fall asleep against him after surviving the night. Grant doesn't suddenly become sentimental; he simply lets them find comfort in him.

°Growth is possible: Grant's transformation reminds us that people who don't see themselves as "good with kids" can still become deeply caring caregivers when they choose empathy over discomfort.

[Jurassic Park, Alan Grant, Sam Neill, Father Figure, Chosen Family, Character Arc, Emotional Growth, Spielberg Cinema, Quiet Masculinity, Compassion, Caregiving, Protective Instinct, Found Family, Film Analysis, Cinema Studies, Character Development, Human Connection, Tim And Lex, Movie Essays, Queer On Cinema]

#JurassicPark #SamNeill #FilmAnalysis #CharacterStudy #QueerOnCinema by @queerpolyenbybisch

The Death of the Ancient Sea Creature

Acrylic, Pencil on Handmade Paper

The idea is to make a piece of art every day for 30 days. This is Day One.

For the last few weeks I've been looking at some incredible art, and somewhere along the way I found myself wanting to paint again.

A recent conversation with a friend also made me think about how I've always struggled to draw from imagination.

So this became a challenge. To confront that limitation. To trust my instincts. To create something that didn't begin with a reference, but with a vision.

This was that vision.

And I had forgotten how good it feels to end the day (actually begin) with paint all over my hands.

Swipe right to see the piece take shape.

[Daily Art Challenge, Acrylic Painting, Handmade Paper, Drawing From Imagination, Visual Storytelling, Surreal Art, Fantasy Creature, Process, Contemporary Art, Sketch To Painting, Artist Journey, Creative Practice, Mixed Media Art, Dreamlike Imagery, Queer On Canvas]

#ArtChallenge #ContemporaryArt #AcrylicPainting #MixedMediaArt #QueerOnCanvas by @queerpolyenbybisch

The other day I heard the theme from The Lord of the Rings and suddenly felt a strong urge to watch the extended editions of the trilogy again. But every time I have wanted to revisit the films, I have also felt the urge to re-read the books.

So for today's reading, I picked up the illustrated edition of The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien.

I bought this edition two years ago but never quite dared to start it, knowing that completing this book is no easy task; especially for someone with AuDHD like me. But now that I am on medication for ADHD and my executive dysfunction feels far more manageable, there might not be a better time to finally embark on this journey.

For comparison, I have also shared pictures of my very first copy of the book, gifted to me by my elder cousin brother, Latif Bhaiya, back in 2001. I thought it was only fitting to also share the note he left inside that edition. Looking back, he saw potential in me long before I ever saw it in myself.

He also believed that too much of my imagination was being spent on Harry Potter and daydreaming about it. At the time I probably disagreed. In hindsight, however, I must admit that he had remarkable foresight to be dismissive of HP but also in believing that The Lord of the Rings had far more to offer me.

There is something moving about returning to a book after so many years, especially when it is tied to the memory of someone who helped shape your love for stories in the first place. Picking up this edition today feels less like starting a book and more like embarking on a new journey with new eyes and perspective, a journey that began twenty-five years ago.

Maybe I will finally watch the extended editions once I finish these novels.

[The Lord Of The Rings, Tolkien Reading Journey, Illustrated Edition, Fantasy Literature, Extended Edition Rewatch, Literary Nostalgia, Childhood Memories, Book Lover Life, Epic Fantasy Saga, Reading With ADHD, AuDHD Reader, Cousin Gifted Books, Notes In Books, Love For Storytelling, Revisiting Classics, Reader Reflection, Fantasy World Building, Cinema And Literature, Meaningful Re Reads, Queer On Cinema]

#TheLordOfTheRings #JRRTolkien #FantasyLiterature # by @queerpolyenbybisch