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Radical Self Coaching

@radicalselfcoaching

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Berlin-based international counseling practice, specializing in psychoeducation, trauma, neurodivergence LGBTQ+, ethical non-monogamy and sexuality.

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This post has been such a long time in the making because truth be told, there has been such a lengthy and intense process behind it.

A year ago I very suddenly had to move my practice out of the cozy space I had used for four years and at first that felt like someone had pulled the rug from underneath me. These rooms provided such a safe space for so many clients and for a week or so I allowed myself to go down the rabbit hole of self-doubt and fear of the future. I wondered, why this would happen to me, when I had dedicated such a huge part of my life to serving others… then suddenly, I remembered !

This wasn’t something negative happening TO me, it was happening FOR me and was a nudge to dare to keep growing. For years, I had secretly nursed the dream of growing more community around the work I’m doing but the truth is that I felt safe and comfortable working very quietly in the background and not being too visible. Visibility means taking up space, it means showing more of oneself, ultimately believing in one’s voice and worth and that still felt very scary.

Fast forward one year and here I am now, in my dream practice space, with enough room to bring my community vision to life and yet, I have spent the last eight months working very much in the same quiet, invisible way, while feeling my resistance. Healers are humans too and we struggle with the very same phenomena we help others overcome and eventually I realized that my perfectionistic expectations were holding me back.

So, I finally decided to stop waiting for the fear to pass and instead show up as I am: real, raw, still scared, still doubtful, still shy, still uncomfortable in the spotlight and yet also hopeful, willing to extend my comfort zone and also really excited for more community, connection, growth and healing !

Photo credit: @chiara_doveri_photography

#innerjourney #berlinberlin #therapists #radicalselfcoaching taken in Berlin, Germany by @radicalselfcoaching

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2 months ago

We would like to invite you to our first event in the new practice: A Radical Valentine.

Why “radical” ? Because the biggest love story is the one we nurture with ourselves, so we want to flip the script and treat ourselves to a special Valentine’s date.

We will come together on Friday the 13th of February, the night before Valentine’s Day, from 5 to 11 pm, for a guided meditation into self-love.

Experience a sharing circle before and after the meditation, a community of like minded humans, a deeper connection to yourself and others and a shared meal afterwards, all under professional psychological guidance.

We are excited to welcome you, so if this speaks to you, simply get in touch with us here or through our website for more details !

#berlinevents #berlinmeditation #therapyberlin #aradicalvalentine by @radicalselfcoaching

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8 months ago

New year, new beginnings: not just I have grown by leaps and bounds these past four years since my last post here but so has my practice. I’m now ready to be back here and openly share this new chapter with you !

Here is a first look at a part of the gorgeous new space Radical Self has moved into this month, with enough room for group events and the community I have dreamed of building for the longest time.

Stay tuned for much more about my personal and professional past years, about the practice and our plans for this year…

#radicalselfcoaching #newpractice #healingcommunity #psychoeducation #therapyberlin by @radicalselfcoaching

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9 months ago

Something we hear clients express daily in our practice is regret over periods in their respective lives where they feel that they have wasted time, resources or opportunities.

This commonly held belief very often leads to them experiencing very painful feelings of shame, guilt, resentment and grief - feelings that while perfectly valid, nevertheless drain their energy and keep them from moving forward.

In those cases, healing often begins as soon as someone realizes that nothing in their life has ever been wasted and that they have simply been looking at it through the wrong lens all this time.

The situation or experience you regret the most is most likely your biggest lesson and teacher, if only you can allow yourself to let go of the regret and the pain and instead make the choice to start looking at it with acceptance and gratitude.

You never wasted your time or your life, you simply did your very best with the tools, energy and knowledge available to you at that time, to successfully meet the needs that were shouting the loudest and it took as long as it needed to take.

Instead of blaming yourself for the choices you made or didn’t make in the past, try to shift your awareness to your most pressing needs at that time. Look at your younger self with all the compassion you can muster and truly thank yourself for doing the very best you could to meet those needs.

Every decision we make, every path we take, every moment of happiness, every second of suffering, every mundane hour, every single point in time serves it’s own unique purpose. Everything we have ever done and all those things we didn’t do, they were all meant to unfold exactly the way they did, in order for our souls to learn the lessons we needed to learn.

Nothing is ever wasted, there is never a wrong place or a wrong time if we allow ourselves to gracefully and lovingly let go of the past, let go of attachment and expectations and instead open ourselves up to fully perceiving and experiencing the wonders of the here and now.

#selfhealingjourney #nothingiswasted #soulgrowth #lifecoaching #therapyworks #selfcompassionjourney #nonattachment #hereandnow by @radicalselfcoaching

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5 years ago

What if we told you that laziness does not exist and that no one can ever be ‘lazy’ ? ⁣
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Laziness is nothing but a social construct, designed and historically used to perpetuate oppression, maintain inequality, support all the -isms and as a result allow some people to wield power over others. ⁣
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If laziness does not exist though, then what is keeping us from doing the things we would like to do ? What is preventing us from doing the work, from moving forward or moving at all ? The answer lies in someone’s circumstances and the barriers they are facing. ⁣
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We fully believe that every person does the very best they know and can do at all times. Yes, your read that right ! You can NEVER give less than your best and your best is determined by all the systemic and individual barriers you are facing at a particular moment in time. ⁣
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So if you feel like something is holding you back, it’s NOT because you are lazy. It’s not because you are NOT working hard enough. It’s not because you are NOT giving it your best effort ! ⁣
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What’s holding us back are all the things that take up energy and all the needs we DO work very hard to meet. If you find yourself unable to take a specific action, it’s because you are already working very hard - your hardest in fact - to prioritize some other, more immediate needs. ⁣
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What will help you break through your personal barriers is rejecting the concept of laziness and focusing on practicing more self-compassion. All our barriers are legitimate and only when we learn to view and feel them as such, will we free up precious, previously tied up energy to forge new paths. ⁣
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#psychotherapy #psychoanalysis #psychoanalyst #lifecoachingforwomen #lifecoachingformen #lifecoachinghappiness #selfhealing ⁣#selfhealingjourney⁣
#mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthcounseling #onlinecounselingservice ⁣⁣⁣
#therapyworks #selfcompassionjourney #laziness #lazinessdoesnotexist #breakingbarriers by @radicalselfcoaching

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6 years ago

Have you ever wondered why some people find themselves attracted to partners who are in some way unavailable. Why does the chase seem so irresistible and why do they feel like love is something they have to earn or win ? ⁣
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The not so simply truth is that what we each consider ‘love’ is very much shaped by our very first attachments with our primary caregivers. Their relationship with each other and their relationship with us form the blueprint for our adult relationships. ⁣
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We then often find ourselves subconsciously mirroring those formative attachments in our adult lives, in an attempt to meet our unmet needs, so we can resolve the emotional conflicts we lived through as children. ⁣
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There are many different attachment wounds that manifest as a need to pursue unavailable partners and common consequence is that children whose most basic needs aren’t sufficiently met solve the resulting internal conflict by internalizing that this is somehow their fault. After all, if it’s your fault then you’re not powerless and out of control, right ?! ⁣
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These children then grow into adults with the deeply rooted limiting belief that perhaps they are simply not worthy of love, that they have to struggle to find it, that they have to convince people to be with them or that they have to fight to hold on to love. ⁣
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Other times they grow up to believe that love is dangerous and painful and they try to protect themselves by falling for people who are unavailable in one way or another, in order to feel some measure of safety and control. ⁣
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Fortunately, as adults, we can learn to re-parent our inner child, we can figure out our unconscious needs and desires and eventually meet them and finally let go of those patterns that no longer serve us. ⁣
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#psychotherapy #psychoanalysis #psychoanalyst #lifecoachingforwomen #lifecoachingformen #lifecoachinghappiness #selfhealing
#selfhealingjourney #ethicalnonmonogamy #polyamorous⁣⁣⁣
#polyamory #relationshipanarchy #relationshipcoach #humansexuality #conscioussexuality ⁣⁣⁣
#mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthcounseling #onlinecounselingservice ⁣⁣⁣
#therapyworks #couplestherapy⁣ by @radicalselfcoaching

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6 years ago

“Be in the moment”, advise that is ubiquitous and sounds so simple, right ? In fact, it’s anything but ! ⁣
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Someone who has suffered though traumatic experiences may find it quite impossible to be fully in the present. To them, the present moment may feel like they are putting themselves in harm’s way. ⁣
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NOT being fully present represents a coping mechanism that has protected their psyche from further harm and perhaps even saved their life, as they were once forced to live through moments that would have been unsurvivable, had they been fully felt when they occurred.⁣
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If someone’s traumatic response has been or still consists of some degree of dissociation, they will often cope by looking at their past as a perpetual point of reference and will as a consequence be intensely focused on protecting themselves from future harm by constantly worrying about their future. ⁣
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Reigning in their perpetually wandering minds and emotions may be a huge challenge and demand an amount of energy they simply don’t posses at the moment and that’s perfectly valid.
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Learning to recognize, acknowledge and honor our present limits is an important step towards healing. ⁣
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#psychotherapy #psychoanalysis #psychoanalyst #lifecoachingforwomen #lifecoachingformen #lifecoachinghappiness #selfhealing #selfhealingjourney #ethicalnonmonogamy #polyamorous⁣ #polyamory #relationshipanarchy #relationshipcoach #humansexuality #conscioussexuality #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthcounseling #onlinecounselingservice #therapyworks #couplestherapy ⁣#knowyourlimits #beinthemoment #beinthenow #hereandnow by @radicalselfcoaching

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6 years ago

Something that living ethically non-monogamous and coaching others in the lifestyle has taught us is how deeply rooted this belief still is. ⁣
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So many of us grow up with the idea of one day meeting The One, who will magically make all our relationship dreams come and we often don’t even realize how unrealistic this expectation is. ⁣
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Each and every one of us are perfectly imperfect beings and no human on the planet will be able to embody every single desire we might have in a partner. ⁣
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Growing up so often means shedding harmful social conditioning and realizing that the only person who is 100% responsible for meeting your needs is yourself ! ⁣
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Transferring this knowledge to interpersonal relationships means acknowledging and honoring that we are each responsible for our own happiness and that placing this responsibility on a partner will leave us feeling powerless, out of control and perpetually discontent. ⁣
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As a starting point, ask yourself this: What is it, that you desire ? What are your needs and wants ? In which ways are your able to meet them yourself ? ⁣
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#psychotherapy #psychoanalysis #psychoanalyst #lifecoachingforwomen #lifecoachingformen #lifecoachinghappiness #selfhealing #selfhealingjourney #ethicalnonmonogamy #polyamorous⁣ #polyamory #relationshipanarchy #relationshipcoach #humansexuality #conscioussexuality #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthcounseling #onlinecounselingservice #therapyworks #couplestherapy #setboundaries #boundariesarehealthy #theoneandonly by @radicalselfcoaching

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6 years ago

This might sound a bit counterintuitive, so let us break this down a bit further. ⁣
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Any journey towards healing and growth will force us to recognize and reconsider our boundaries. Once you begin to enforce healthy boundaries, you might find that you actually feel really bad doing so at first. ⁣
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Setting new boundaries might bring up feelings of anxiety, guilt, shame, even selfishness but that does not mean that you are doing something wrong - quite the opposite in fact ! ⁣
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It only indicates that at some point you lived in an environment where personal boundaries were unwelcomed, perhaps even actively violated or simply did not exist at all. ⁣
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Learning that boundaries are valid, that we alone get to determine what they look like and that we deserve to have them respected is a big adjustment and it takes time to process that. So this is just a gentle reminder that it‘s okay if you initially feel bad about setting boundaries. ⁣
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Just keep practicing that anyway because all emotions are equally valid and they all serve the purpose of guiding us - sometimes, it‘s just a matter of recalibrating our inner emotional compass. ⁣
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#psychotherapy #psychoanalysis #psychoanalyst #lifecoachingforwomen #lifecoachingformen #lifecoachinghappiness #selfhealing #selfhealingjourney #ethicalnonmonogamy #polyamorous⁣ #polyamory #relationshipanarchy #relationshipcoach #humansexuality #conscioussexuality #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthcounseling #onlinecounselingservice #therapyworks #couplestherapy #setboundaries #boundariesarehealthy by @radicalselfcoaching

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6 years ago