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rain, NREMT 🌧️💕🚑

@rainisfaded

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ain’t what i imagined, it’s the way it happens
🦋 baltimore’s lowlife | living proof 🫶🏽
everything’s not as it seems 🫧

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i lost so much for the new life i want to live. such a beauty. 🥀 taken in Baltimore, Maryland by @rainisfaded

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a year ago

i wanna take the time to be open with myself and with anyone who bothers reading:
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mental health is so important to me because i’m someone who suffers from it. 3 years ago, i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and 2 years ago, borderline personality disorder. this means that it’s extremely hard for me to regulate my emotions. i find myself ghosting the world because i don’t wanna fuck anything up. whenever i do open up, i do just that, fuck up. it’s particularly difficult to be social and intimate because mental health isn’t as front-lined as other deficiencies. i wish it was, because i want to feel like i can be myself around people without feeling like the world isn’t gonna understand me. i’ve lost countless friendships and partnerships because of these emotions. i feel so crippled everyday. all day. afraid of even coming out my home because of the way others may view me. i love so deeply because i know what it’s like to feel alone. i do everything in this life to help others, because i know what it feels like when i need help and i can’t find anyone. i’m fighting wars with myself every single day. trying to find a place in the world to where i can just feel free. somewhere where friends and family can see that i’m trying to just win every day when i constantly feel like the score is lopsided. i don’t really know where i’m going with this or what i feel i should do, but everything is hitting me because i do my best. my absolute best. mental health is so important, guys. people really die from it. i don’t have that will to end my life, because i’ve accepted that my own life is bigger than me and i have to be here to support the lives of many in the world and save their cries. am i wrong? i don’t believe so. i think that’s my purpose. i just wish i had the emotional stability to make life easier than this. yet, i wouldn’t change this for the world. it’s made me know me more. i wish the people i wanted around could know me too…. ❤️‍🩹 taken in Sad City by @rainisfaded

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2 years ago

🦋 here’s a quick peace of mind 🦋

your darkest days grow the brightest future.

2 years ago, i was down on my knees.

back against the wall.

but i never gave up on myself.

now, i’m living a little kid’s dream.

keep working. you’ll always win in the end 🫶🏽

#fyp #explore #emt #bls #ems taken in Baltimore, Maryland by @rainisfaded

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2 months ago

i’m chosen. and the story isn’t over. keep applying pressure. 🖤🥈 taken in The Chosen by @rainisfaded

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3 months ago

yesterday, i got my results from my national registry EMT exam. i passed with flying colors. i can now officially work in the state of Maryland and also apply to any state of my choosing.

thank you to the ones who’ve been congratulatory throughout this chapter. i’ve worked so hard to become a medic.

to the ones who believe that you can’t do what you want in this lifetime , just look at me. i was dealt fucked up hands, but it’s diamonds in the clubs now.

through this journey, i’ve cut myself off from the world to achieve this dream of mine. and to finally win… man, this feeling is amazing. it’s finally here.

#CertifiedMedic ❤️🚑 taken in Baltimore, Maryland by @rainisfaded

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9 months ago

many people never see themselves in the business of fighting. and many who try, lose their will to pursue quickly. i’m not the fastest. i’m not the strongest. i don’t work as hard as i should… but i can tell you, i started. with every single moment i go, i get better. striking, footwork, etc. it all gets better. just keep going. i’ll be in that ring soon. 📈💪🏽
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#boxing #boxingtraining #boxinglife, #boxer, #boxingworkout #boxingdrills #fyp #explore #T2G taken in Time 2 Grind by @rainisfaded

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a year ago

it’s all in the process. 🥀 taken in Baltimore, Maryland by @rainisfaded

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a year ago

just another craze. 💘 by @rainisfaded

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2 years ago

i done got back on ✌🏼🧬💞 taken in Over East by @rainisfaded

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2 years ago

rookie workin to be a hometown legend. ⚾️🏟️ @acce_baseball taken in Baltimore, Maryland by @rainisfaded

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2 years ago

broken hearts break promises. promise me you ain’t just numb like me 🥤❤️‍🩹🤮 taken in Baltimore, Maryland by @rainisfaded

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3 years ago