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Maroua Jaddou

@frames_and_notes

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I'm not sure where to start with this book. Maybe here: I don't know a single person who has read it and didn't come out the other side transformed. Ce que le jour doit à la nuit, by Yasmina Khadra. When I read it, I was going through a difficult time. Health issues, a kind of stillness I hadn't chosen. And it's in that in-between space, caught between things I couldn't control, that this book found me. It made me fall in love with reading again. Really reading, not just flipping through pages. And more than that, it opened my eyes to something I hadn't been able to fully understand before: my destiny, and the actions I needed to take to move toward it. Mektoub. That's the word that runs through the entire novel. What is written. What is meant to happen. But Khadra doesn't let you hide behind fate. On the contrary, he asks you: are you enduring your life, or are you actually living it? The story unfolds in Algeria, during and after French colonisation. It's a love story, yes. But it's really a story about pride. About what it costs. About what it conceals. This book taught me something I probably already knew but couldn't yet see clearly: pride, most of the time, comes from trauma. And that trauma gets passed down without anyone realising it, generation after generation, like a weight no one talks about because everyone is carrying it. But here is what I really took from Mektoub, and what I want to pass on: what is meant to be yours is already yours. The hard seasons, the health scares, the moments where everything feels suspended and uncertain, they are not detours. They are part of the road. Every difficult experience is shaping you, building something in you that nothing else could. Resilience isn't a quality you're born with. It's something life carves into you, if you let it, and choose to use it as fuel rather than carry it as weight.
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13 hours ago
Is alienation a condition, or is it a form of awareness? For the longest time, I believed that feeling disconnected meant that something inside me was missing. That one day I would meet the right people, find the right place, build the right life, and this quiet distance would finally disappear. I'm no longer convinced. I think consciousness has a price. The more intensely you experience existence, the harder it becomes to accept it without questioning it. You stop taking things at face value. Every certainty begins to feel borrowed. Every identity feels temporary. Every answer opens the door to another question. And then something strange happens. You no longer feel separated from people because they are different from you. You feel separated because everyone seems to know how to inhabit life without constantly asking what it is. I've come to realize that perhaps belonging was never the goal. Maybe we spend too much of our lives trying to become understandable. We polish the rough edges of our minds, translate thoughts that were never meant to fit into language, and call that connection. But what if some parts of us should remain untranslated? Not because they're broken. Because they are too vast to be reduced into ordinary words. Maybe that quiet distance isn't an absence after all. Maybe it's the space where the self refuses to become smaller just to feel less alone.
0
7 days ago
We spend our lives trying to become "someone." We collect achievements, relationships, memories, and versions of ourselves, believing that one day they'll merge into a complete identity. But what if, beneath all those layers, we still feel hollow? Not because our lives are empty, but because we've mistaken existence for presence. Maybe the most frightening loneliness isn't having no one around. Maybe it's waking up one day and realizing you've become a stranger to yourself. You smile because you're expected to. You speak because silence would worry people. You keep moving because stopping would force you to ask the questions you've been avoiding. Perhaps we were never meant to have all the answers. Perhaps the purpose of life isn't to become someone else, but to slowly return to the person we were before the world convinced us we had to be anything else.
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8 days ago
I met different people with different roles in my life, some left a remarkable scar, and some left an irreplaceable room in my heart, but both are blessings. Some taught me to not leave myself where they abandoned me, and some taught me to begin in the place where I was left wounded. Somehow, I appreciate how they all helped me to become the person I am now.
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a year ago
Where do I go? Where am I meant to be? What happens now? These thoughts consume me, indeed. Where do I go on this journey of life? Can I find my destination? Can I reach it? Is there truly somewhere for me to go, or must I accept that there is nowhere I belong? I keep asking myself: Do I belong here? Do I fit into this society? Do I have a role, or am I just a stranger among them all? It is devastating to feel--or even believe--that you don't belong anywhere, that no matter how hard you try, there is no place for you. Perhaps NO ONE truly understands you, or maybe you have never fully understood others. But, isn't that the nature of all of us? So if I don't belong here, where do I belong? Where will I feel at ease? Where will I find peace? It is easy to cling to material life and carve out a place in the world, but what about the moments when we drift into deep thoughts, searching for meaning beyond the tangible? Where do I go? Where do I truly belong?!
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a year ago
How do we see the world differently in détachement and solitude? As we embrace these states, we begin to experience new emotions and perspectives. The world feels more distant, quieter-- almost unfamiliar. As days pass, we immerse ourselves in this newfound solitude, tasting the peace we longed for. Freed from attachments, expectations, and the need for validation from others, we no longer seek to be seen. Instead, we become invisible, alone, yet profoundly present within ourselves. Materialism fades, and we cast ourselves away from the world, growing addicted to our thoughts, works, and our way of life. In this state, the urge to read more, write more, and engage in deep contemplation intensifies. Solitude sharpens our awareness, revealing new dimensions of perception. The more we learn and witness, the less we remain in a fixed state. We become a process--an endless metamorphosis that continues until our last breath. Let's be honest with ourselves-- when do we feel the purest excitement and joy, unmatched by any worldly possession? It is in the moments when we learn, when we read, when we grasp something we once did not understand. That is when we truly come alive.
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a year ago
The world doesn't end at 18, and life doesn't have to be figured out in your 20s. You're still so young at 25, and you are likely to change your path a million times. You'll switch jobs, cities, friends, and dreams. You might change careers at 28, and meet the love of your life at 35 instead of 25--it might not be who you thought you'd end up with. You might land your dream job at 40, and you'll be so happy you kept trying. Life has a funny way of surprising us...Let it! In the meantime, savor the present, and remember: life doesn't end at 18.
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a year ago
A curse or a blessing? Have you ever drowned in what you feel. Where your emotions are vast seas, pulling you in like an anchorless ship. And you are too small, too fragile, to survive the tide. Where love pulls you under before you can breathe, Where every heartbeat feels like a wave breaking against your ribs. Tell me, Have you ever been lost in the storms you carry, Wishing you could throw your heart overboard, Just to find a moment of stillness. Ever stared into ur own reflection, And found shipwrecks in your eyes, Silent graves of all the things you never learned to say. Ever loved so deeply, It filled your chest until there was no room left for you. Then I only wonder... Is it a curse, or a blessing, To feel so deeply.
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a year ago
Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's (1965) will be a perpetual reference in the autobiography of my mind. In the elegant denouement of Holly's narrative lies a profound meditation on the architectures of human vulnerability, painting girlhood as both an intricate and delicate landscape. The beauty of the film is how it slowly strips away all the ingenuous facade she starts out with: we begin to see her for who she truly is-- the perpetual wanderer who constructs a false identity as a form of self preservation. In the past, Holly has never ventured further than the recesses of the obscure survival mechanisms she learned over the years. Her resistance to "belonging" is a philosophical stance, a nuanced rejection of societal expectations and the conventional narratives of intimacy. She's the embodiment of a certain kind of emotional phenomenology, where freedom is both sanctuary and a punishing form of isolation. This film is philosophy in motion, a living inquiry into the nature of authenticity, belonging, and the delicate negotiations between individual autonomy, and human connection.
2
a year ago
What if...? What if, years from now, I look at him across the dinner table and realize he's not the same person I fell in love with? What if his laughter sounds different, his dreams shrink, his kindness dulls at the edges? What if I wake up next to a stranger, not because he deceived me, but because time turned him into someone else? Or worse-- what if I change? What if I become someone I don't recognize? Someone who folds herself into a smaller version just to fit into a life she chose? What if the things that made me me-- my spontaneity, my independence, my late night thoughts that belong only to me-- fade into the background of "us"? What if I start feeling nostalgic to a life I used to have, one where my choices were my own? What if I miss the quiet of my own space, the way my world was mine alone to shape? What if marriage isn't just a new chapter but a closed door, locking away the person I was before? I want to believe in love that doesn't smother, in commitment that doesn't erase. But, I'm scared...Scared that one day, I'll look back and wonder if I traded too much of myself just to hold on to someone else, indeed.
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a year ago
Just a little reminder that even the best of us has our insecurities. It's sad to see that even the people we admire still wished to look differently. Remember that there's nothing for you to change, the only thing you have to work on is the way you see yourself. Just as the way we see our Audrey; beautiful inside and out. 🤍
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a year ago
Some love stories don't span years--they exist in moments, brief yet unforgettable. A single kiss feels like the beginning of everything, and a goodbye like the end of the world. Between them, there's a fleeting time when love is real, alive, and all that matters. But sometimes, no matter how much we hold on, some loves are only meant to pass through us, leaving behind a feeling we chase forever.
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a year ago
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