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Matthew Blaine Hyde

@saddy_matty

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Learning to love all my parts, even the sad ones. Processing the grief of divorce and faith deconstruction.

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I want to share something I’m really proud of. In January of 2022, I created an Instagram account (@dmba_stories) to confront the Church’s insurance company--DMBA--for not covering any type of family planning resources for its over 10,000 employees, and after 12 months of sharing experiences from women all over the Church, we succeeded! On 1/26/23, an email was sent out to all Church employees informing them that employees and spouses would now have family planning resources covered if they choose.
While that was a long year of hard work (and some discouragement), it’s also pretty amazing that it only took a year— although, I must give credit to the many women who had been pushing against this exclusion for a few decades as well as the many women who helped me with my account!
Some people may think that DMBA not covering family planning isn’t a big deal. That’s why I collected over 200 testimonials from female church employees who bravely shared just how painful and sometimes life shattering the exclusion could be. Go read the stories if you don’t believe me. (There would probably be hundreds more if most church employees didn't feel scared to share their stories.)
I based my approach off of Russell M. Nelson’s statement that “good inspiration is based upon good information.” Sadly, a few decades of individual women complaining repeatedly about this exclusion was not enough for this "good information" to sufficiently move Church leaders to a decision, so I simply created a platform to respectfully bring all those voices into one place and it worked and the "good inspiration" came.
Throughout the Church's history, so many changes have started from the ground up (see article in stories). The leaders at the top ultimately ratify decisions, but much of that "good inspiration" comes from other people supplying "good information."
Faithful, Christlike activism can and HAS been a tool for moving forward the "ongoing Restoration."
(Cont. in comments) by @saddy_matty

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3 years ago

I’m so lucky to have the BEST friends! We went to almost every single one of these Provo Rooftop concerts and danced our hearts out. What a beautiful thing when you find your people! by @saddy_matty

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2 months ago

Y’all, it’s the little things in life that can bring the most joy. Like ordering a $10 Mexican flag so that on the 24th of July in Utah (Pioneer Day, a state holiday), I can fly it outside and celebrate the day that our Mormon ancestors emigrated out of the United States to seek refuge in Mexico. I just love being me!!! 🤣
🎶“¡Así se lleva Mexico en la pieeeeeeel!”🎵 by @saddy_matty

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3 months ago

Cried like a MAN last night at my men’s group (AKA crying like a baby, which is also good, they’re synonyms). After the exercise that made me cry so much, I was wiping my eyes and one of the other men had gone into the kitchen and grabbed some leftovers from our potluck dinner and brought them out to me in case I needed some sustenance. Look at that adorable plate! It was simple but communicated love, sensitivity and courage!
I’ve been discovering that men can show love to other men and unlock things in ways that no one else can. I used to think that men couldn’t hold space for people’s emotions. And that meant, as a man, I couldn’t hold space for my own emotions and for the emotions of my many inner child parts. It was other men holding me while I cried that first showed me that as a man, I could go inside and hold the parts of me that needed to be held, instead of relying 100% on a mom or a wife to do those things. It’s been life-changing.
PS, after our exercise we each created a takeaway statement about ourselves. When it was my turn, for a second, I felt hesitancy that I wouldn’t be able to think of something really powerful. But then I just opened my mouth and spoke with my chest and said “I am Matt, and crying is my f*cking superpower!” Watch out world! Superpower unlocked! by @saddy_matty

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4 months ago

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4 months ago

I love my friends! It’s so fun to get to show up and support them in the things they love. Congratulations Matt and Lizzie!!! by @saddy_matty

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4 months ago

1st place bitches by @saddy_matty

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4 months ago

Watch until til the end! Drumming with one of my favorite people to drum with. @saddy_matty #drumming #shamamicdrumming #rhythm #percussion #joy by @saddy_matty

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4 months ago

I made this video and even wrote this caption in November 2024 but never posted it. But I’m feeling some of this again tonight so here goes:
Just an illustration of me having a conversation with my past selves about how it’s time to let go of the many dreams that we had and gave our life to that have not panned out. It’s shocking to me how truly painful it is. It feels like death—sometimes like it’s you dying and sometimes like it’s a loved one dying. Both feelings. No matter how I emphasize it, it’s one of those things I doubt I can express. But I know there are folks who have been through something similar who will see this and know the feeling exactly.
If you know the plot of this movie, it’s actually even more poignant. There is a wishing stone that grants you a wish but takes away something in return. Diana wishes to bring Steve back to life life but it has taken away her power and her ability to save the day.
I bawled my eyes out watching this scene the other day realizing how painful it is and how holding onto my wishes is taking so much from me, and I need to “renounce my wish” and move forward.
To anyone experiencing loss or grief or identity death, you’re not alone. It’s OK to be angry, and when it’s time to move forward, you’ll find the strength to do so!!! by @saddy_matty

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7 months ago

Stevie Nicks wrote this when she was 27. Really Stevie?! You were getting older too? But somehow, she definitely channeled something into this song that has really resonated with me as I have navigated life transitions in my midlife era. I’ve had some significant dates pass in the last month and this song has helped me process the feelings that have come up.
When she talks about seeing her reflection come down in a landslide, it feels very familiar, a lot like the feeling of almost my entire identity crashing down in an avalanche and feeling buried. And then having the “child within my heart“ somehow emerge and “rise above.” by @saddy_matty

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7 months ago

For whatever reason, we humans have the innate ability to dehumanize others WITHOUT ever realizing we’re doing it. But we all do it!
Since we all unintentionally dehumanize, we all need to intentionally re-humanize.
The reason we have laws is to protect human dignity within our society. If the way we’re enforcing laws is infringing more on human dignity than protecting it, then we’re putting the cart before the horse, and innocent lives are on the line. by @saddy_matty

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9 months ago

Props to the two people who saw me and immediately knew exactly who I was for Halloween!!! And not TOO much judgment to the one person who said “oh so you went with a simple costume.” On the contrary!!! Been growing out my hair for two years just for this! And I was wearing an almost identical outfit to Thor even down to the identical T-shirt I was wearing.
I carried the umbrella all day since it was the key to the costume. I walked out to my work lobby to get one of my students for an appointment to talk about his classes for digital cinema production of all things. And he said “When I first saw you, I was like ‘Why in the world is he carrying an umbrella? Ooooooh!!! I see it.’” Of course the cinema lovers appreciated the effort and the subtlety. by @saddy_matty

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a year ago