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safia

@safia_

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🇳🇿🇸🇴 living in 🇺🇸
📍los angeles

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i never could’ve imagined that this would be the first post on my grid in six years, but here we are. for the past 12 months i’ve tried to find the resolve to write this post but as each month passed, i put it off because officially sharing this made my painful new reality all too real. on april 15th, 2025 (NZT) my mum - the woman i owe everything to; the sunshine of my life, my rock, my best friend, suddenly and very unexpectedly left this world 💔 and while i try to keep it to myself, it has absolutely crushed me. i’ve gone through a lot in life that i don’t often share so i’ve always been extremely resilient and also guarded with expressing the things i feel, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the loss of my mum, especially at a time that i was already going through a lot. people say “it gets easier”, but i’m an extremely sensitive and emotional person and for me, every day is getting harder - because with every day that passes i have to tell myself that she’s gone forever, and that realization, the *permanence* is what i struggle with. my mum was my world and very much part of the fabric of my daily life, despite being hemispheres apart since 2012; we’d walk through fire for each other and i turned to her for everything. i see signs of her around me every day and i wish i found more comfort in that, but all i want is to be able to call and hear her voice or her call me 😣 i was so lucky to have her as my mum and have the special relationship i had with her. i’d give anything to have her back because this hurts so much 😔 i’m so glad she knew she was my everything. everyone that i called in new zealand last year to break the news to all resoundingly shared that “mum was so proud of you, you were all she talked about” 🥺 and i feel the same way about her. mum had a really hard life - and fought stage 4c head and neck cancer during the pandemic, a diagnosis we were told would likely be terminal 😓 but my mum was superwoman and she endured grueling daily chemo, radiation and eventually a month in hospital with a feeding tube keeping her alive, all so she could stay in this world with me 😥 i’ll never stop missing her, and i wouldn’t want it any other way ❤️‍🩹 by @safia_

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5 months ago

last night’s outcome for @jacindaardern, @nzlabour, @nzgreenparty, @maori_party deserves to be documented outside of my story posts 🥳🇳🇿

my background’s in political science, so on the inside i’m how @patrickgowernz was on the outside last night haha. thankful, grateful, proud! and these days relieved that i come from this little country at the bottom of the world that walks the walk with progressive leadership, preservation of our environment and so importantly; that our indigenous people (māori) are represented and visible within the fabric of NZ politics as the tangata whenua i.e. ‘people of the land’ - something that’s always a work in progress, but needs acknowledging nonetheless when we live in a world where indigenous communities continue to face abhorent treatment and are denied a seat at the table.

with all of 2020’s lowlights, last night’s historic win(s) of the #nzelection2020 gave hope to the possibilities of 2021 and beyond; not only for new zealanders but for the world, because the sociopolitical axis that many countries are spinning on isn’t sustainable(!)

*special mention to @newshubnz for the live stream of the debates + election results which made it easy to stay involved as a kiwi overseas, and to @patrickgowernz for all the paddy gems last night lol by @safia_

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6 years ago

realized that covid took my mind off posting on my birthday last tuesday • thank you to those who reached out with bday love 🤗🎈we’re living in unprecedented times but the people that warm my heart have filled the past week - and counting, coz it’s #leoseason! 😎♌️🤓 with so much more than i expected and i’m so appreciative 💞 by @safia_

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6 years ago

the lighting in this pic looks like a mega filter, but i took it so that i had a pic on birthday number 3️⃣2️⃣. the past 12 months have been way better than others for me and it warms my heart everyday to think of the people in my life who contribute to that. i’m also thankful that this past year i’ve learnt to “trust the process” a lot more and that’s helped me stress a lot less. a friend of mine txt me today, “leo season all year!!!” ~ i’ll take that 😎 #mybirthday #leoseason #augustbaby #32 by @safia_

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7 years ago

it’s kinda ridiculous how i never properly post anything on here anymore thanks to the story feature so four months after my birthday post, here’s something from about a week ago. the train announcement ruined the moment but it was nice seeing this man do his thing, nonetheless🎷#la #culvercity #music #in2019iwillpostthingsagain taken in Metro Rail - Culver City (E) by @safia_

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8 years ago

me on my birthday, i.e. my favourite day of the year (august 4th)🕺🏽♌️🦁 i realized i broke tradition and didn’t post anything on my bday so here i am. thank you to those that wished me a happy bday or that i got a chance to spend time with ✨ i’m a big birthday person and care about others’ bdays so it’s nice when that’s reciprocated 🙃 kinda crazy to think i’m 31 now but i wouldn’t wanna be any other age + @whitnass said i haven’t aged in 10 years so i guess i’m doing alright lol #latergram #mybirthday #leoseason by @safia_

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8 years ago

a mug made with me in mind 😉😌 spotted this at @saltandstraw a couple of days ago; i never know what i want for my bday but four months out i know i want this 🦁🍦♌️ taken in Salt and Straw by @safia_

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8 years ago

it’s interesting seeing people talk about ‘altered carbon’ knowing that i have quite a bit of insight on it and actually got to weigh in on all sorts ~ from the typography, tag line and billboard images to my thoughts on the acting and storyline 🤓 (last year i was part of a group netflix enlisted to give feedback on this show that was in its infancy at the time). still undecided on how interested in watching it i am.. based on what i saw, the acting left a lot to be desired and the plot was a little all over the place 😬 but! it looks like they’ve brought some noteable actors in and the ideas the show presents are kind of on par with ‘black mirror’ in that so much of what we’re seeing in these shows will probably be our reality one day 😕. curious to hear anyone’s thoughts on it if you’ve started watching it..! #netflix #newshow #alteredcarbon by @safia_

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9 years ago

the #bluemoon at 5 something this morning as i rushed to work.. a steadier shot would’ve been nice but i’m just glad i saw it! first time catching a glimpse of one of these fancy moons/eclipses 🌘🔵🔴✨ taken in Mid City by @safia_

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9 years ago

beautiful and no filter needed • taken in Los Angeles, California by @safia_

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9 years ago

update: people have filled me in that space x was responsible for this. haven't had a chance to read up on it yet but this was a sight to be seen nonetheless!! couldn't believe my eyes! 👽 so apparently this was a missile being tested but it looked like a UFO! that was crazy!! never seen anything like that before. can they not be testing missiles though 🤔😒 #la #midcity #missile #ufo by @safia_

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9 years ago

just saw 'i, tonya' ⛸ the way the story was delivered totally threw me off [in a good way]; wasn't expecting as many laughs as it provided, either! learnt a lot more about the tonya harding backstory that i didn't know as a 7yo when the nancy kerrigan incident went down :P cool to learn margot robbie and her husband produced the movie, too. #itonya #tonyaharding #margotrobbie #allisonjanney #arclightcinema taken in ArcLight Cinemas Hollywood by @safia_

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9 years ago