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Sammie Settlemire

@sam_settlemire

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https://readerful.com/story/how-to-be-white-for-dummies-xvS70QiF/chapter/table-of-contents-dNhmc2IY?utm_source=newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=table-of-contents

Guaranteed to laugh you asses off. No lie

Facts, heres an insert from chapter 1. You can check out a couple chapters for free.
CHAPTER 1: HOW TO BE WHITE (AN INTRODUCTION, UNFORTUNATELY)

In which we establish that this book is satire, everyone should relax, and no one is getting a certificate at the end.
Let’s get this out of the way right now:
This book is not about how to become white.
There is no test.
There is no membership card.
There is no orientation video where someone named Greg explains lawn etiquette.
If you’re looking for instructions, you’re already missing the point.
This book is about white culture — specifically the suburban variety — the kind built on rules no one remembers agreeing to, conversations that mean nothing, and an unshakable belief that if everything looks fine, then everything is fine.
It is an observational guide.
A field manual.
A nature documentary narrated by someone standing too close to the animals.
First, A Disclaimer (Because White Culture Loves a Disclaimer)
Before we continue, please understand the following:
This book is satire.
If you are offended already, it gets worse.
If you are not offended at all, congratulations — you probably live in an HOA. by @sam_settlemire

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18 hours ago

I found this spray. Yay by @sam_settlemire

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2 days ago

That was my Janice when I first got her. I did not rescue her. She rescued me. Now Janice is a happy chunky baby. When we first got her we let her eat eat as much as she wanted. Now though her health is what's important and she's very content now. She eats until she's full and knows she doesn't have to fight for food,love,affection, anything. Ill add her now picture in the comments by @sam_settlemire

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2 days ago

Thought this was pretty funny so here it is. by @sam_settlemire

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2 days ago

Hey here you go. Send this to your boss if they are mean,rude,or you cant stand them. Send to an ex or even an ex-friend,send this to whoever you feel needs a middle fingering. Woah keep minds out of the gutter. Lol by @sam_settlemire

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2 days ago

I love this but if it offends somebody- so what. What doesn't offend somebody? by @sam_settlemire

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2 days ago

Good Morning World. Well I have no sales on lulu. Amazon is giving me greif so that leaves Readerful and Barnes and Nobles. Please just give them a chance. It will help me out in more ways than you think. See i get up early early everyday to write. My disability is 900.00 a month and I get no extra help, cant even get food assistance but thats not your guy's problem. How you could possibly help is just buying one of my many books. They are mostly ebooks but they are worth the read. I can not physically work and due to the brain damage from a traumatic brain injury I can not hold down a job. Im not hireable. My words when I speak come out slurred and jumbled so heres the only way I could possibly make it in this cruel world. See so you would get something in return- a good reads and I write several genres. My memoir is being revised because good lord looking at my earlier writings they sucked but now, now they are really good. Ive had great reviews and would appreciate a review if you get a book please. Be blessed world and yes my fith wheel Scott Richardson stole it at country court trailer park in Syracuse of you want hook upto it and take it back for me. It had all my belongings in it and this stinks. Be blessed world and thank you by @sam_settlemire

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2 days ago

I keep a can in my purse, under my car seat, tooth brush holder, bathroom cabinet, and husbands lunch box. by @sam_settlemire

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3 days ago

by @sam_settlemire

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3 days ago

by @sam_settlemire

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3 days ago

Found these. They may help most of Americans by @sam_settlemire

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3 days ago

by @sam_settlemire

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3 days ago