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Seeking Light Circle | Grief Support

@seekinglightcircle

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A community for women navigating grief 🤍
Connection, support & finding joy again
Lilah | Certified Grief Coach
✨ Founding Circle opens Dec ’26

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I’m looking for 15 women to join the very first Seeking Light Circle. 🤍

Women carrying grief. Women wanting connection. Women looking for a place to show up exactly as they are, without having to explain what they’re feeling.

When I first dreamed of Seeking Light Circle, I imagined monthly gatherings. A space to share stories and simply be with people who understand.

But that little idea grew into something more.

Seven months. The same women. A place to belong.

Beginning January 2027, we’ll gather in person, connect through Zoom, take weekly walks, journal, share stories, laugh, cry & experience beautiful things together.

We’ll slow down, get our hands in the earth & gather around a beautifully curated table for a shared meal, meaningful conversations, laughter & stories about the people we love.
A chance to remember not just how we lost them, but who they were.
And there’s so much more being thoughtfully planned.
Through it all, we’ll make room for joy while still carrying our grief.

No stages to complete. No finish line to reach. Because I don’t believe grief is something we leave behind. I believe we learn to live alongside it.
Together.

But do you know what my greatest hope is?
That somewhere along the way, real friendships begin. ✨

That women who arrive feeling alone find people who understand. 🥹
And that those connections continue long after our seven months together.

Because ultimately, that’s what I needed when my own world fell apart.
People. Connection. A place to belong. And that’s what I hope to create for other women.

Our first Circle begins January 2027. Registration opens soon!

If this speaks to you, I’d love to hear from you. DM me the word CIRCLE & I’ll personally share more information.

And if you know a woman who might need a place like this, please share this with her. She may need this connection, even if she hasn’t told you.
Help me find her. 🤍

#griefsupport #griefcommunity #seekinglightcircle #mentalhealthsupport #griefandhealing taken in Redondo Beach, California by @seekinglightcircle

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7 days ago

World Mental Health Day. 🤍

I loved Marc from the time I was 16 years old. I knew his heart, his humor, his kindness & all his beautiful qualities. I knew the way he loved me & our girls. And I knew the struggles he carried with depression & bipolar disorder.

Loving someone with mental illness can be complicated. There’s so much love, but also helplessness, fear, frustration & heartbreak.

For so many years, I wanted Marc to know, every single day, just how deeply he was loved. I wanted him to see himself the way I saw him. To recognize the wonderful things about himself that were sometimes so difficult for him to see. And I wanted so badly to take away his pain.

But one of the hardest things I’ve learned is that no matter how deeply we love someone, we cannot always take away their pain.

Marc was so much more than his mental illness. He was funny, loving, thoughtful, generous & full of life. A husband, father, brother, friend & a man loved beyond measure.

His struggles were part of his story, but never the whole story.

Today, I’m thinking of everyone living with mental illness & those who love them.

Sometimes we forget that someone struggling isn’t always experiencing the world the way we are. We become frustrated. We don’t understand their reactions, decisions or behavior. We label them difficult, too much, or even “crazy.” Sometimes we distance ourselves because we don’t know what else to do.

But beneath those struggles is still a person who deserves love, understanding, acceptance & support. Someone who may need compassion & reassurance more than we could ever imagine.

So please, see the person beyond the illness. Be patient. Learn about what they’re experiencing. Offer support. Love them while maintaining healthy boundaries.

And above all, LOVE THEM ANYWAY.

Not because love will fix everything. Not because it’s always easy. But because their struggles don’t make them any less worthy of love.

Mental illness does not define a person. Everyone deserves to know they matter. 🤍

#worldmentalhealthday #MentalHealthAwareness #bipolarawareness #depressionawarenes #seekinglightcircle by @seekinglightcircle

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8 days ago

Nine years ago, I lost my husband and my dad in the same week. My daughters were six years old and five months old.

There was no roadmap for the kind of grief that followed. I had people who loved me and showed up for me, and I will always be grateful for them. But there was something I kept searching for that I never quite found.

A room that felt like mine.

A place where I could show up messy. Unfinished. Still figuring out how to carry a life I never imagined I’d be living. A place where I didn’t have to explain why I could be laughing one minute and missing them so deeply the next.

Where joy didn’t mean I had moved on.
Where grief didn’t need to be fixed.
It just needed somewhere to belong.

Over the last nine years, I’ve learned that grief and joy can exist in the same life. That we can deeply miss the people we’ve lost and still create something beautiful with the life that’s in front of us.

And maybe that’s what seeking light really means.

Not pretending the darkness didn’t happen. Not leaving our grief behind. But learning how to carry it while still allowing ourselves to live, love, laugh, grow… and find our way toward the light again.

For years, I’ve thought about creating the space I wish I’d had.

I’m finally ready.

Seeking Light Circle is a community I’m creating for women carrying the loss of someone they love. A place for real connection, honest conversations, friendship, and learning how to live fully alongside grief.

There will be so much more to share in the months ahead. But today, I just wanted to open the door.

I’m creating the room I spent years looking for.

And if you’ve been looking for it too… I’d love to save you a seat. ✨

Welcome to Seeking Light Circle. 🤍

@seekinglightcircle by @seekinglightcircle

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2 months ago

So… what exactly is Seeking Light Circle?

Since sharing this little dream of mine, I’ve received so many beautiful messages and comments, and I thought it was time to tell you a little more about what I’m creating.

Seeking Light Circle isn’t only about grief. It’s about life while carrying grief.

Because grief doesn’t stay neatly tucked inside the loss itself. It follows us into motherhood. Friendships. Relationships. Dating. Work. Birthdays. Holidays. Milestones. Even the grocery store on a random Tuesday.

And it shows up in the joy, too. Laughing again. Opening our hearts again. Trying something new. Feeling hopeful about the future — and sometimes wondering if we’re allowed to.

I want Seeking Light Circle to be a community of women at every place in their grief — including those who can’t yet imagine how joy could ever exist alongside it.

You don’t have to have anything figured out before you walk into this space. That’s part of why I’m creating it.

We’ll walk alongside one another as we learn to carry what we’ve lost while slowly making room for what might still be ahead — helping each woman find her own light, in her own time.

I envision monthly in-person gatherings. Weekly walks. Sitting together. Journaling. Honest, messy and sometimes really funny conversations. Workshops, guest speakers, retreats and resources — but more than anything, connection.

Women who don’t need the backstory. Who understand why an ordinary day can suddenly feel impossible. Who can sit beside you in the hard stuff and, when you’re ready, celebrate when life starts feeling good again.

This isn’t therapy. And it isn’t about “moving on.”

It’s about learning to keep living, loving, growing and finding light while carrying what we’ve lost.

I’m building this thoughtfully, slowly and with so much heart. My hope is to open registration this December, with our first gathering in late January or early February.

Because maybe this isn’t just the room I once needed. Maybe it’s the room some of you have been looking for, too. 🤍

#lifeafterloss #findinglight by @seekinglightcircle

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2 months ago

Today would have been my dad’s 71st birthday. 🤍

And God, I miss him.

My dad always claimed he invented the selfie. 😆 Looking at this picture today, I can practically hear him saying it.

He was funny. He was an actor, a writer, and a genuinely good man. And I like to think I got a little of my love for writing from him. Above all, he was a family man. ❤️

I miss so many things about my dad. But sometimes it’s the simplest things that get me.

Pulling up to his house and seeing him waiting at the door smiling.

The way he’d open the screen door before I even got out of the car. How he’d go straight to the girls, open their doors, hug and kiss us all.

He was always so happy to see us.
I miss that. Someone genuinely happy for my arrival. 🥹

My dad was my person.
He was the one I trusted. My protector.

There was something about knowing he was there that made the world feel a little safer.

And when you lose someone like that, you don’t just miss the person.
You miss the feeling of having them in your life.

I think that’s one of the things about losing a parent that doesn’t get talked about enough.

You can be a grown adult. You can have children of your own. You can be perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.

And still deeply miss having someone who made you feel protected.

Someone who knew you your entire life. Someone whose love you never had to question.

Today I’m thinking about all the years we didn’t get.
All the birthdays. The conversations. The ordinary afternoons. The moments with my girls.

I wish I could pull up to his house today.

I wish I could see that screen door open.

And I wish I could hug my dad one more time.

Happy birthday, Dad.

I miss you. I miss us. And I miss knowing you were just a phone call or a drive away. 🤍

#heavenlybirthday #missingmydad #griefsupport #griefcommunity #loss by @seekinglightcircle

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6 days ago

“You’re so strong.”

I heard this a lot after Marc died.
And I know people meant it kindly. But I remember thinking… really?

Because I felt the weakest I had ever felt.

I wasn’t being strong. I was getting up every day because I had two little girls who needed me. I was doing what I could to survive.

People said a lot of things during those early months. Most were trying to help. Some of them still live in my head.

“You have to keep living.”

I know. But right now I’m just trying to figure out how to get through today.

“Well, he always said he thought he’d die young.”

Is that supposed to make this hurt less?

“He gave you Adaline.”

Yes. He did.

And all I could think was… her dad is dead.

Someone once looked at me sitting outside with my six-month-old daughter in her tree swing and said:

“This is what you do every day?”

Yes.

I watched her swing. I listened to the birds. I noticed the butterflies. And I grieved.

This was what I did every day.

And then there were the things that just left me speechless.

A woman once told me, “I know how you feel. I’m going through a divorce. We don’t talk. It’s like he died.”

I didn’t say anything.

But in my head? Are you fucking kidding me?
Because no. He hadn’t died.

And I would have given anything for Marc to simply be somewhere else in the world.

Nine years later, I understand that people often say these things because they don’t know what to say. Silence feels uncomfortable. We want to offer hope. Find a silver lining. Say something that might make it hurt less.

But sometimes there isn’t anything to say that will make it hurt less.

You don’t have to fix grief.
You don’t have to find the lesson.
You don’t have to remind someone how strong they are.

Sometimes you can simply say:

“This is really fucking hard. And I’m here.”

Sometimes that’s enough. 🤍

Seeking Light Circle is coming soon. A place for conversations just like this.

Follow @seekinglightcircle as we build this community together. Registration opens in December. 🤍

#seekinglightcircle #widowhood #griefsupport #lifeafterloss #griefcommunity taken in Redondo Beach, California by @seekinglightcircle

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11 days ago

There was a time when laughing like this felt strange.

I don’t know if I ever actually said that out loud. But I think some part of me believed that feeling better meant I was leaving them behind.

And there was another part of it too…
I worried that if people saw me smiling, laughing, going out or genuinely having a good time, they might think I wasn’t grieving anymore. That I wasn’t sad.
That I didn’t miss Marc.

As if grief had to look a certain way from the outside for people to understand that it was still very much there.

But grief and joy were never opposites. Joy doesn’t replace grief. It doesn’t erase the person I love. It doesn’t mean I’ve moved on from him.

Almost nine and a half years later, Marc is still woven into me. Into the way I love my girls. The things I notice. The way I show up for people. The life I’m building.

And there is so much about my life now that I genuinely love.
I can say that without betraying the life I had before. I can miss him and laugh until my stomach hurts. I can wish he were here and still be excited about what’s ahead.

I can carry grief and be deeply happy. Both can be true.

Maybe that’s one of the things I wish someone had told me in the beginning:

You don’t have to look sad every moment for your grief to be real.

And you don’t have to choose between missing someone you love and loving the life you have. 🤍

Seeking Light Circle is coming soon. A place for conversations just like this. Registration opens in December. 🤍
#griefsupport #griefcommunity #livingwithgrief #griefandjoy #widowhood by @seekinglightcircle

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18 days ago

I had to become friends with my grief. 🤍

She walked with me.
She sat with me.
She did the dishes with me.
She made dinner with me.
She put the kids to bed with me.

She also cried with me.
And she laughed with me.

Because grief doesn’t only exist in the devastating moments.

She has been there for the beautiful ones, too.

Nine years later, she’s still here.

And so is joy.
So is love.
So is laughter.
So is this beautiful life I have continued to build.

I don’t think healing meant getting rid of her.

I think it meant finally letting her in.

And if you’re standing on the other side of that door, unsure of how to open it…

I’m here to help you open it. 🤍

Seeking Light Circle is coming.
Registration opens early December.

A place for women to learn how to live alongside grief—together. ✨🤍

#Grief #griefsupport #lifeafterloss #widowhood #seekinglightcircle by @seekinglightcircle

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23 days ago

Today was f**king hard.

This morning was a shitshow. Not for anyone else. Just me, my heart and my mind. Nothing catastrophic happened. I was just doing a thousand things, thinking about everything else I needed to do, when I started to feel completely overwhelmed.

And when I get overwhelmed like that, I question myself. My capabilities. My worth. My parenting. I wonder how to keep going.

I DO NOT feel sorry for myself. Not one bit. Not how I live. I think I’ve carried all of this pretty damn well over the last nine years. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t a lot.

It’s a lot to raise a family, take care of a home, be solely financially responsible, be the emotional and physical support, make the decisions & remember all the things. And somehow I’m also supposed to make birthdays special & holidays magical.

And sometimes? I DON’T WANT TO! Sometimes I want someone else to make the magic!

And while I’m carrying all of that, I’m still carrying grief. I’m tired.

But here’s the complicated part: I keep taking on more. Because I want more for myself and my girls. I want to build a life that feels meaningful & purposeful.

I’m creating Seeking Light Circle because I believe women need a place like this. I’m rebranding my candle line, trying to keep my head up while Card De A is painfully slow, showing up in a relationship with someone I love so much, carrying hurt over things I recently learned and figuring out how to navigate that friendship, and committing to getting my body stronger.

All things I’m choosing. Things I care about & want to show up for.

But on days like today, I question whether I’m good enough to do any of it. Whether I’m a good enough mom. Whether I have enough in me to carry what I already have while reaching for what I still want.

And truthfully, resentment shows up too. Not for my life—I love my life. But sometimes I resent that I was left to do so much of it on my own. Grief shows up in that form too. 😔

That’s it. No inspirational message today. No lesson about strength or resilience. No pretty bow. Just pure, raw honesty from a widow on a shitty day.

Some days are just f**king hard.
Today was one of them. And I needed to say it. 🤍 by @seekinglightcircle

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a month ago

I think one of the quieter parts of grief is grieving who you used to be. 🤍

I don’t think I understood that for a long time.

Of course I missed the people I lost. I missed their voices, their presence, the life we had together and all of the moments I thought we still had ahead of us.
But somewhere along the way, I realized I missed me, too.

The version of me who didn’t know how quickly everything could change.

The woman who didn’t divide her life into before and after.

The one who could hear the phone ring without her body bracing for bad news.

The one who hadn’t yet learned what it felt like to lose people she couldn’t imagine living without.

And I miss some of the lighter parts of her, too.

How silly she could be. How easily she laughed. How carefree she could feel.

And if I’m being completely truthful, I think she was so much funnier than I am now. 😆🙃

For a long time, I think part of me wanted to find my way back to her.
But I can’t. And maybe I’m not supposed to.

Because the woman I am now has been shaped by everything that happened next.

She carries more. She feels more. She notices things she probably wouldn’t have noticed before. She knows how precious an ordinary day can be.
She knows that joy and heartbreak can somehow sit beside each other.

And she knows that loving the life she has now does not mean she would have chosen the losses that brought her here.

I can miss who I was before and still love who I am becoming.

Maybe that is another part of living with grief we don’t talk about enough. 🤍

#griefsupport #lifeafterloss #griefjourney #griefcommunity #seekinglightcircle by @seekinglightcircle

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a month ago

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately thinking about the women who will eventually sit in the first Seeking Light Circle. ✨

And I keep coming back to one question:
What did I need when my own world fell apart?

I needed people.

Not people with answers.
Not people trying to fix me.
Not someone telling me how grief was supposed to look.
Not someone telling me that everything happens for a reason.

I needed people who could simply sit beside me in it.

My girls & I have spent the last nine years learning something I never asked to learn—how to keep living while carrying enormous loss.

And I think that’s part of why creating Seeking Light Circle means so much to me.

I don’t believe grief is something we work our way through until we’re finished. There aren’t stages to complete or boxes to check.
Grief changes. We change. Life grows around it.

As I’ve been creating what our time together will look like, I keep coming back to this:

Each month is an invitation, not a step on a ladder.

A doorway.

Walk through it if it serves you.
Rest if you need to.
Come back when you can.

We’ll talk about caring for ourselves when grief feels heavy. Having people who can truly sit with us. Rediscovering pieces of ourselves. Making room for joy without guilt. Honoring the people we love. And finding ways to live fully while grief continues to hold our hand.

But more than anything, I’m creating a place for connection. A place where women can show up month after month & be known.

And hopefully, somewhere between the conversations, walks, journaling, tears & laughter… real friendships begin.

To take what grief has taught me—and continues to teach me—and turn it into something that might help another woman feel seen, understood & less alone means more to me than I can explain.

I’m building this with all of you in mind. 🤍 And I can’t wait to share more.

If this speaks to you, I’d be so grateful if you helped me share Seeking Light Circle.

Share a post. Send this page to a friend. Tell someone about what I’m creating.

You may know a woman who needs a place like this, even if she hasn’t told you she does.

Help me find her. 🤍 #griefcommunity by @seekinglightcircle

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a month ago

Sometimes a walk is more than a walk. 🩵

There’s something about walking beside someone that makes things feel a little lighter.

Fresh air. Movement. A little space for an overcrowded mind.

Sometimes you talk about the hard things.
Sometimes you talk about everything but.
Sometimes you laugh.
Sometimes you just walk.

It’s one of the reasons I knew I wanted grief walks to be part of Seeking Light Circle.

Because sometimes you just need to move, breathe, and have someone walking beside you who understands. 🤍

Come as you are. We’ll walk from there.

P.S. Some of my favorite moments are simply walking arm in arm with my Stella. 🤍

#seekinglightcircle #griefwalks #griefsupport #griefcommunity #lifeafterloss by @seekinglightcircle

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a month ago