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Brie Hill · Speaking Coach

@shesaidspeak

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For the women who need to learn how to speak up - or unlearn why they can’t.
✨13 years helping women do both
👇🏼 Join the Learn/Unlearn waitlist

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Go on be a try hard!!

I’m starting a petition to making trying cool again x by @shesaidspeak

For the girlies who received constant programming that their voices shouldn’t be heard! by @shesaidspeak

POV. When you shut off the part of you that feels safe being seen and using your voice by @shesaidspeak

Hey Babe.. did you know you freeze on camera because your sense of self dissolves without other people’s reactions? xx by @shesaidspeak

A Tuesday reminder for the dolls by @shesaidspeak

hills I will die on as a women’s speaking coach

So come get me! I’ll be on these hills breathing the fresh air⛰️ by @shesaidspeak

I think most speaking coaches are starting with and solving the wrong problem.

They teach you to breathe differently. To pause. To make eye contact. To stop saying um. The skills.

And yeah, those skills are important don’t get me wrong! But if your nervous system believes that using your voice is dangerous then no amount of technique is going to fix that.

Here’s what’s actually happening babes.

We were taught from childhood that being good meant being quiet. Being agreeable. Being easy. Being liked above all else. And our nervous system was listening so intently!

It learned that speaking up was a threat.

So our bodies responded the only way it knew how. Freeze. Fawn. Shrink. Soften.

Apologise before you even open your mouth.

It’s a nervous system that was conditioned out of its own voice.

And you cannot skill-learn your way out of a nervous system response! Imagine wish we bloody could!

So the actual work (before any technique or skill) is bringing the nervous system back online. So that the full range of responses becomes available again. So that assertiveness is possible. So that your fight response - the healthy kind, the kind that says this matters and I will say so - is actually there when you need it.

Xx

#shesaidspeak #nervoussystemhealing #womenempowerment #speakingcoach #selfsilencing by @shesaidspeak

Most people think confident speakers never run out of things to say.

But that’s total bullsh*t 😅

Actually the most confident speakers in any room are the ones comfortable enough to say nothing at all. Knowing that the pause is not a gap in their thinking. It is the thinking.

Many women were never taught this. We were taught that silence means you do not know. And filling that silence means you do.

So we ‘um and you know and does that make sense’ our way through every conversation trying to prove we are still worth listening to.

I’m here to shout at you from a rooftop - YOU ARE. You do not need to prove it every three seconds.

Watch this. Then try the exercise at the end. One conversation. Come back and tell me what happened X by @shesaidspeak

Fun fact: “I think” doesn’t make you sound thoughtful.

It makes you sound uncertain 😶

And your brain knows this! Which is why it reaches for it in the first place. Uncertainty is safer than conviction. Many of us live our lives avoiding any opportunity to be wrong. Cos being wrong often makes us feel like trash. And you can’t be wrong if you never fully committed!

But you can’t be heard either.

Say it like you mean it babe - that’s my challenge for you today xx

#womenempowerment #speakingcoach #womeninspiringwomen by @shesaidspeak

It’s not your job to tone it down

It’s your job to turn it the f*ck on!

Too loud. Too much. Too emotional. Too intense. Too needy. Too bossy. Too quiet.

We can spend our whole lives softening ourselves down to a size that makes other people comfortable.

Smaller voice. Safer opinion. Quieter laugh. Edited version. Cool girl. Easy girl. Let others take our ideas and say them louder girl.

And we call it being professional. Being likeable. Being easy to work with.

But it’s not.

If you’ve been making yourself smaller to make others comfortable …

You were never too much. You were just surrounded by too little x by @shesaidspeak

Filler words can be a bit of a bitch to get your head around!

There are two types of filler words -

1. Sound based fillers (um, ah, eh) these little brats are hesitation markers. Your brain is catching up with your mouth. Totally human, totally fixable.

2. Meaning based (like, y’know, basically, does that make sense?) these ones are different. They’re social tools and they’re doing something we’ve been conditioned to do! Softening ourselves and seek permission to be heard. Because somewhere along the way a lot of us learned that being too direct, too certain and too much, was a problem.

“Does that make sense” sounds like a genuine check in. But a lot of the time it’s actually asking - am I okay? do you still like me? was that too much?

I had a client last month who said it on repeat. And she had no idea!

And that’s the whole point, you cannot change what you cannot see yet.

This video breaks down the four stages of changing any speaking habit - starting from the stage where you don’t even know it’s happening.

watch it and then tell me - do you know what your filler words are? by @shesaidspeak

Honestly… I’m obsessed

I’ll never be the Speaking Coach who thinks she’s done learning

When we move away from comparison and competition and towards expansion -
other women show us what’s possible!

Jealousy stops being something to shrink from and starts becoming a clue for what you want for yourself!

So surround yourself with women who expand you and let your subconscious know… Hey! if that’s possible for her - it’s sure as fuck possible for me too! by @shesaidspeak