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@smallerleftbreast

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anything more than a handful is Wasted
still alive, but elusive

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I’ve lived the majority of my life in denial that this day would ever come. If you’ve ever found something kind and good or worth knowing in me then you knew her, too. Her name was Ramona “Ramonita” Hernandez Cruz aka Tata, “Belleza Internacional”, la reina madre, and she was everything to us.

de Tata todita por siempre. by @smallerleftbreast

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10 months ago

breaking my nearly-year long, hard post silence to share this photo that Chucky took on a real chill Saturday at miller beach. 💘 hoping that my days of plenty won’t run out just yet this summer — by @smallerleftbreast

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4 years ago

“They saw how hard I was working and begged her: “Go out with him for one drink. It couldn’t hurt.” Well, it did hurt, because four days later we were married.

I showed up in the lobby of the Ritz-Carlton in a tank top, ripped jeans and tats hanging out everywhere. They refused to let me anywhere near the bar or the restaurant, so we decided to fuck that piece-of-shit hotel and go elsewhere. As I was letting her into the cab, I paused to look at her. And I never stopped looking.” by @smallerleftbreast

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5 years ago

swipe til the end for an AU crossover

📸 by deconstructed Link and jayceepennys_ taken in Bristol Renaissance Faire by @smallerleftbreast

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5 years ago

生日快樂
1934-2021

I’ve been processing the very recent loss of my 嫲嫲 — today is her birthday.

In my eyes, beyond a nurturing grandmother, she embodied my every insecurity and yearning I felt towards my connection to the Chinese half of my identity (and she was generally unaware I felt this way); I couldn’t speak Cantonese fluently, and here was someone who loved me so much and spoke ONLY Cantonese. She lived in the Caribbean for over a decade to be with her family and only half of them could speak to her directly. This ate at me constantly, my inability to speak her language or to match her in how much she gave.

Years ago, I did a photo project where I attempted to recreate portraits of her just so I could work through said insecurities - visual proof of my emotional connection to her and how she lives in me, but how we’ll never be the same person. And knowing that was okay, because we still loved each other. She loved taking me with her to play Mahjong with her friends and feeding me haw flakes to stop me from crying. She is brilliant.

I can’t be in Hong Kong to formally say goodbye, so I’ll settle for Happy Birthday. I’m not sure she broke her rebirth cycle lol, so I’m hoping she’s out there. I love you. Thank you for teaching me and our family how to love beyond barriers. by @smallerleftbreast

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5 years ago

im made of so much love! by @smallerleftbreast

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5 years ago

slept on posting about this incredible fucking painting for too long now from @ms_guaynabita - look out, Chicago bc she’s headed our damn way and we ain’t ready 🧚🏽‍♂️😫✨

first image is from the shoot we had (with @the_and_sign as well) for the painting and the last image is 💫 🥵 by @smallerleftbreast

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6 years ago

I want it to be warm out already gdi Topo and I are READY by @smallerleftbreast

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7 years ago

1939-2020. love you, abuelo. by @smallerleftbreast

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7 years ago

I hope that in 2020, everyone’s fierceness will match or surpass that of my Tata banishing this iguana from her niece’s backyard. Love you all ✨ by @smallerleftbreast

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7 years ago

🤡😤 by @smallerleftbreast

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7 years ago

I don’t wanna look at another apple ever again by @smallerleftbreast

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7 years ago