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Jennifer Collins | Almost Empty Nester Coach

@smalljarcoach

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Helping moms of teens and adult kids navigate the space between motherhood and the empty nest. đŸ™ŒđŸŒŸđŸ’«
Master Coach | Almost Empty Nest Podcast Host
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Your brain has been lying to you about what worry actually does. Many of us moms think worry is just a part of loving our kids. And that’s true. But there’s another important thing worry does for us that you might not realize. Worry creates the feeling of control in a situation where you have none. When something comes up with your big kid, your nervous system does exactly what it was trained to do over decades of keeping them safe. It sounds the alarm. It scans for danger. It looks for something to fix. And when you can’t fix it? It just keeps looping. Not because you’re anxious. Or because something is wrong with you. Because your brain genuinely doesn’t know how to stop protecting someone it loves this much. But here’s what nobody tells you
 the worry doesn’t protect them. It just keeps you living every worst-case version of their life inside your head while they’re out there actually living it. But you deserve to be present for your own life too. There is a way to feel the worry without letting it take over. To love them deeply without bracing for disaster every single day. To find peace that doesn’t depend on whether they’re okay. That’s the work. And it starts with understanding what’s actually happening in your mind. There are two ways to do this
 Comment 254 for a link to today’s episode of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast — I Can’t Stop Worrying About My Kids. Or comment “Let Go” for a link to sign up for my Art of Letting Go Masterclass. You don’t have to stay stuck in the worst-case scenario spiral, my friend. xo Jennifer Master Coach #momofbigkids #momofteens #lettinggo #anxiousmom #emptynestmom by @smalljarcoach
2k
5 months ago
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No one tells you this part. You spend years teaching them how to tie their shoes, speak up for themselves, try again when they fail. And then one day
they start doing it without you. You watch them walk away — to school, to practice, to college, into their own opinions and choices. It’s what you always wanted. And it still hurts. Letting go isn’t one brave moment. It’s a thousand tiny ones. It’s not fixing it for them. Letting them face in a consequence. It’s doing everything you can
and then realizing you can’t do everything anymore. And maybe the hardest part? Trusting that what you’ve already given them is enough. That they can handle the lessons. And trusting that you can handle the ache that comes with watching them learn. If you’re standing in that in-between
trying to navigate where to hold on and when to let go
you’re not alone. CommentđŸ”„to follow along with me in The Almost Empty Nest Podcast. And if you’d like more tools, join me for my next free masterclass. Comment “class” to learn more. My friend, this season of motherhood calls us to find a new level of trust. Not just in our big kids
but in ourselves. You are not alone in this. ❀ xo Jennifer, Master Coach #LaunchingBigKids #ParentingTeens #LettingGo #EmptyNestLife #MomsOfTeens by @smalljarcoach
3k
7 months ago
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What if the hardest thing to let go of isn’t your kid
 
but the belief that you can’t be okay until they are? For years, this made perfect sense. When they were little and something was wrong, we did something. They cried. We comforted them. They were sick. We took care of them. They had a problem. We helped solve it. And when they were okay again, we could relax. We practiced that pattern for YEARS. So of course when your 19-year-old is miserable at college, your 22-year-old has no idea what they’re doing with their life, or your teen walks through the door clearly upset, everything in you still says: Something’s wrong. Pay attention. Do something. But our big kids are supposed to have hard days. They’re supposed to be disappointed, confused, heartbroken, anxious and unsure sometimes. And loving them doesn’t require us to go down with them. That’s the difference between caring about what they’re going through and carrying it for them. I’m talking about this in Episode 293 of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast: 🎧 Mindset Traps of Parenting Teens and the Empty Nest, Trap 13: Emotional Outsourcing — How to Stop Riding the Emotional Roller Coaster with Your Big Kid Comment 293 and I’ll send you the episode. Comment đŸ”„ and I’ll send you a link to explore more episodes of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast. And I’d really love to hear from you on this one: What are you carrying for your big kid right now that you’re having a hard time letting go? A relationship? Their grades? Their mental health? A decision they’re making? Their future? The fact that they’re unhappy? Share it below if you’re comfortable. You may be surprised how many other moms are carrying something similar. #ParentingTeens #ParentingAdultChildren #EmptyNestMom #LettingGo #MomAnxiety by @smalljarcoach
689
6 days ago
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Motherhood is really freaking hard
 And
it’s everything you’ve ever wanted. This is a truth that I am realizing over and over. Motherhood is actually beautiful and painful at the same time. You can want them to be independent and still worry about them. You can be grateful they’re loving their life and still miss being needed. You can love who they’re becoming and still grieve what’s changing. And you can be living a life you once hoped for while still finding parts of it really freaking hard. But what I’ve noticed is that often our minds make the hard part the whole story. Understanding how to hold both the beautiful and the hard is the kind of work we do inside Mom 2.0 Collective. If you are tired of spending so much energy worrying, fixing, second-guessing, or trying to make everyone else okay before you can feel okay, my next group starts soon. Comment ENOUGH and I’ll send you the details. And today’s episode explores navigating both the beautiful and terrible
 comment 291 and I’ll send you Episode 291 of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast: “What If This Is Hard AND Everything You’ve Ever Wanted?” What if you could find the power to embrace all of it? xo Jennifer Master Coach #ParentingTeens #ParentingAdultChildren #EmptyNestMom #LettingGo #MidlifeMom by @smalljarcoach
30
13 days ago
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What if blaming yourself feels safer than admitting you can’t control what happens next? That’s the part of mom guilt we don’t talk about enough. When your big kid is struggling, pulling away, making choices you don’t understand, or heading down a path that scares you, your brain wants an explanation. So it goes looking backward. What did I miss? What should I have done differently? Where did I go wrong? Because if you caused it, maybe you can still fix it. And as painful as self-blame feels, that can sometimes feel easier than facing the much harder truth: You can love your kid with your whole heart and still not be able to control their life. That does not make you powerless as a mom. It just means your job is changing. That’s what I’m exploring in Episode 290 of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast: “I Feel Like a Failure as a Mom” Comment 290 and I’ll send you the episode. 🎧 And if this one hits, comment đŸ”„ and I’ll send you the link to explore more episodes of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast, including the rest of the Thoughts Moms Are Ashamed They Think series. What if your kid’s life isn’t your report card? xo Jennifer Master Coach #ParentingTeens #ParentingAdultChildren #EmptyNestMom #MomGuilt #LettingGo by @smalljarcoach
104
16 days ago
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What if your boundary is actually working
 Even though your kid hasn’t changed at all? That’s the part that can be so hard to believe. Because most of us unconsciously use our kid’s reaction as the scoreboard. Did they listen? Did they stop? Did they finally understand? Did they become more responsible? And if the answer is no, we assume we need a better boundary. But that keeps you trapped in an exhausting loop of tweaking, explaining, softening, toughening, and second-guessing. The more powerful shift is understanding this: A boundary is not proof that you can control your kid. It’s clarity about what you will do, support, pay for, participate in, or be around. And once you see that distinction, boundaries start to feel very different. That’s what I’m exploring in Episode 289 of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast: “Why the Right Boundary Can Still Feel So Wrong When Parenting Teens and Adult Kids.” Comment 289 and I’ll send you the episode. 🎧 And if you’re tired of questioning every boundary, every no, and every decision you make with your big kid, comment TRUST and I’ll send you the details for Mom 2.0 Collective. This is my 10-week group coaching program for moms who want to stop overthinking, feel calmer when their kid is struggling or pushing back, and trust themselves to know when to step in, when to step back, and how to stay connected without carrying responsibility for their kid’s life. The next groups are starting soon, and this is exactly the work we do together: learning how to trust your decisions without waiting for your kid to agree, comply, or change first. You do not need the perfect boundary. You need enough self-trust to stop using your kid’s behavior as proof that you got it right. xo Jennifer Master Coach #ParentingTeens #ParentingAdultChildren #SettingBoundaries #EmptyNestMom #LettingGo by @smalljarcoach
28
20 days ago
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What if your worry feels impossible to stop because
 Some part of you believes it’s keeping your kid safe? That’s the part we don’t talk about enough. Worry can feel like vigilance. Like paying attention. Like staying one step ahead. Like making sure you don’t miss the thing that could have prevented a problem. And when your kids were little, so much of that actually WAS your job. But big kids are different. You can warn them. Advise them. Set boundaries. Tell them exactly what you think. And they still get to choose. That loss of control can feel terrifying. So your brain keeps searching for something to do. Check. Remind. Ask another question. Run through one more worst-case scenario. Because doing something can feel safer than accepting that some of this is no longer yours to control. That’s what I’m talking about in Episode 288 of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast: “I Can’t Stop Worrying About My Kid” Comment 288 and I’ll send you the episode. 🎧 And if you’re tired of knowing intellectually that you need to let go but still finding yourself worrying, checking, fixing, reminding, and second-guessing yourself, this is exactly the work we do in Mom 2.0 Collective. My next groups are coming up soon. For 10 weeks, we work on the real situations happening with your big kid so you can learn when to step in, when to step back, how to set boundaries that are actually yours to hold, and how to stop carrying responsibility for a life that ultimately belongs to them. You do not need your kid to change first in order to feel calmer, more confident, and more connected. Comment TRUST and I’ll send you the details for the upcoming groups. You can love your kid fiercely without making worry your full-time job. xo Jennifer Master Coach #ParentingTeens #ParentingAdultChildren #EmptyNestMom #MomAnxiety #LettingGo by @smalljarcoach
140
21 days ago
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What if you’re more confident in your decisions than you think
 until someone else has a problem with them? You say no. Hold the boundary. Decide not to rescue. Make a choice for yourself. And you feel pretty good about it. Until someone you love gets upset. Then suddenly you’re explaining. Defending. Replaying the conversation. Wondering if maybe you were wrong after all. And this is where it gets interesting. Because you may think you’re reconsidering your decision. But sometimes you’re actually just trying to make the discomfort of their disapproval go away. There’s an important difference between listening to someone you love and needing them to be okay with your decision before you can be okay with it. And once you see that difference, you may start noticing this trap everywhere. I’m talking about it in Episode 287 of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast: “The Approval Trap: Why Your Big Kid’s Disapproval Makes You Doubt Yourself.” Comment 287 and I’ll send you the episode. 🎧 And if you want to discover which other thought patterns may be quietly keeping you overwhelmed, second-guessing yourself, or unsure of what’s next, comment UNLOCK and I’ll send you my free Mindset Trap Detector worksheet to help you uncover the hidden thought patterns keeping you stuck and start breaking free. Because confidence isn’t knowing you’re always right. It’s trusting yourself even when someone you love thinks you’re wrong. xo Jennifer Master Coach #ParentingTeens #ParentingAdultChildren #EmptyNestMom #MomMindset #SelfTrust by @smalljarcoach
4
a month ago
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What if your kid is hearing more than you think
 and you just don’t get to see it yet? That is one of the hardest parts of parenting big kids. You say the thing. You hold the boundary. You tell them why you’re worried. You explain how their choice affected you. And then you look at their face for some sign that it landed. Remorse. Concern. Understanding. Anything. Because if they react the “right” way, maybe you can finally relax. But the truth is, their reaction is not always a reliable measure of what is happening underneath. Sometimes they care and don’t show it. They could be feeling defensive. Or overwhelmed. And sometimes the lesson takes years to stick. And sometimes, yes, they may not fully get it yet. But a blank face is not proof that you failed to reach them. And you do not need their reaction to decide whether you showed up as the mom you wanted to be. That’s what I’m exploring in Episode 286 of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast: “Nothing Matters to My Kid” Comment 286 and I’ll send you the episode. And if you’re tired of second-guessing every conversation, boundary, and decision with your big kid, comment GROUP and I’ll send you details about the next Mom 2.0 Collective cohort, starting soon. Mom 2.0 Collective is my 10-week coaching program for moms of teens and adult kids who want to feel less anxious, reactive, resentful, or consumed by what their kids are doing. We work on the real situations happening in your family so you can communicate more clearly, set boundaries with confidence, let go without disconnecting, and trust yourself even when your kid does not give you the reassurance you wish they would. You may not always know what’s getting through. But you can trust yourself to know who you want to be as your big kid navigates the messy process of growing up. xo Jennifer Master Coach #ParentingTeens #ParentingAdultChildren #EmptyNestMom #LettingGo #MomsOfTeens by @smalljarcoach
14
a month ago
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You can be disappointed in your big kid without making their behavior mean something terrible about you, them, or your relationship. That sounds simple. It usually isn’t. Because when your kid doesn’t text back
 doesn’t say thank you
 doesn’t seem to care as much as you think they should
 doesn’t make the choice you hoped they would
 Your brain rarely stops at: “I wish they had done that differently.” It goes to: “They don’t care.” “They don’t respect me.” “I must have done something wrong.” “What if this is who they are becoming?” That’s why some moments with our big kids hurt so much more than they seem like they should. It isn’t always just the behavior. It’s the expectation underneath it. And then the meaning we attach when that expectation isn’t met. You are allowed to want the text back. You are allowed to want appreciation. You are allowed to expect respect, responsibility, effort, and follow-through. But your peace does not have to depend on your big kid behaving exactly the way you hoped they would. That is where your power starts to come back. 🎧 Comment 285 and I’ll send you Episode 285, “Letting Go of the Invisible Contracts That Make Parenting Teens and Adult Kids So Hard,” from The Almost Empty Nest Podcast. And if you’re ready to stop just understanding this and actually change how it feels in real life comment “enough.” I’ll send you information about Mom 2.0, my 10-week coaching program for moms of teens and adult kids who are tired of feeling anxious, reactive, resentful, or consumed by what their kids are doing. We work on the real stuff: boundaries, letting go, overthinking, rescuing, control, communication, and trusting yourself when your kid is struggling or making choices you wouldn’t make. The goal isn’t to care less. It’s to stop losing yourself in how much you care. 💛 xo Jennifer Master Coach #ParentingTeens #EmptyNestMom #LettingGo #MomOfTeens #ParentingAdultChildren by @smalljarcoach
212
a month ago
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For years, motherhood answered so many questions for you. What matters today? Who needs me? What am I responsible for? What am I good at? Where am I going next? And then your kids grow up. The roadmap gets quieter. The role gets less clear. And suddenly it can feel like you disappeared too. But maybe that’s not what has happened. Maybe this is the first time in a very long time that your life is asking you to decide who you want to be next. That’s what I’m exploring in Episode 284 of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast: “I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore” Comment 284 and I’ll send you the episode. And if this stage of motherhood has you questioning your role, your purpose, or what comes next for you, comment LET GO and I’ll send you the details for my upcoming free masterclasses. This is exactly the kind of work we’ll explore: letting go without losing yourself, building more confidence in who you are now, and creating a next chapter that feels meaningful because you chose it. xo Jennifer Master Coach #ParentingTeens #EmptyNestMom #ParentingAdultChildren #MidlifeMom #FindingPurpose by @smalljarcoach
46
a month ago
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What if the thing exhausting you most isn’t the uncertainty
 But your belief that you have to be ready for all of it? As moms, we spend so much energy trying to get ahead of the hard parts. We think through every possibility. We rehearse what we’ll say. We imagine how we’ll respond. We try to protect ourselves from being blindsided. But underneath all of that is often a deeper fear: What if I don’t have what it takes to handle this? In this episode of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast I’m talking about this fear, and how to break through it. Not by becoming detached or “tougher”. But by building your emotional capacity to face whatever challenges lie ahead. Comment 283 to check out: “The September Reset—Three Steps to Build Your Emotional Capacity for Parenting Teens and Navigating the Empty Nest.” Or comment đŸ”„ and I’ll send you the link to explore all the episodes of The Almost Empty Nest Podcast. Because maybe this season of motherhood doesn’t require you to know exactly what’s coming. It asks you to trust yourself enough to meet it when it does. xo Jennifer Master Coach #ParentingTeens #ParentingYoungAdults #EmptyNestMom #MomAnxiety #LettingGo by @smalljarcoach
48
a month ago
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