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Soft Humming

@soft.humming

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The things I see along the way.

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I push it back inside of me, but it's getting bigger and my window reprieve is growing smaller each time I stuff it down. I feel it in my throat when we talk, and I feel it in my spine when I lay down at night. I wish I could snuff it out with the heel of my boot like an insect; giddy at the crunch of it's demise. But I can't kill that hallowing grief that is steadily lurching forward; bridging the gap. I can't kill the promise that my dad may soon die. by @soft.humming

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4 days ago

Entry into a labyrinth

#hallway by @soft.humming

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9 days ago

I had thought that this transitional period of my life would have ended by now, but it seems like I'm still free falling. My dad is ill, and I'm kind of squished in this place of helplessness and wanting to act but I'm so directionless with my own path that I feel a bit overwhelmed by everything. In many ways I know who I am, but I haven't been able to find the best place to fit myself into working society to feel confident with my future and the future of my loved ones. I know that I'm gazing through a narrow scope into how I perceive others to be doing, and I understand that my viewpoint is probably slanted because everyone is juggling with struggles of their own. But man, I sure wish I had a better grasp of things. How can I build a solid foundation for myself if I don't even know which building blocks to use? And how can I even confront the prospect of sacrificing for the betterment of my family if I don't have anything to stand on? It's almost comical just remarkably chaotic my 30's have been. I seldom drink, but today I could use one.

#today by @soft.humming

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a month ago

I woke up suddenly angry about something that happened years ago, and I stewed in it alone all morning. I sometimes want to avenge a time that no longest exists, and finding quiet when all versions of me roam simultaneously within myself can be taxing. It may seem frustrating within the moment, but there is a blessing to forgetfulness that I envy.

#morning by @soft.humming

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a month ago

That pervasive undercurrent of feeling. You only say so much but always, always, you stop yourself from admitting to more.

#downtown by @soft.humming

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a month ago

Sky light

#above by @soft.humming

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a month ago

#sky #vast #empty #star #cloud by @soft.humming

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2 months ago

Somewhere within those bleak ballads was a voice I still recognized.

#moon #sky by @soft.humming

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2 months ago

I wish I could split myself in two and live separate lives.

#window #plane #bike by @soft.humming

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3 months ago

The friendly beast of the back alley.

#summer by @soft.humming

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3 months ago

Lookin' for cat food.

#shopping #mustfeedkitty by @soft.humming

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3 months ago

The great giant pencil

#pencil #giantpencil by @soft.humming

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3 months ago