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sophie

@sophcun

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writer // foodie // tree hugger

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my dad taught me a lot of things.he taught me how to save money. he taught me how to polish my shoes.he taught me how to make scrambled egg in the microwave. (and, consequently, why you shouldn’t make scrambled egg in the microwave because it stinks the fucking house down.)but he also taught me fear. and humiliation.he taught me how to stand up to the bullies at school. the jabs they threw at me drew no blood, because i had a worse bully at home – with a much crueler repertoire of insults.he taught me that the people who are supposed to care for you and protect you won’t. that you’re on your own in this world and nobody is coming to save you.he taught me my best would never be good enough. that even when i’ve given all i’ve got people will still want more from you. he taught me how to tolerate abusive people. and how to apologise for things that weren’t my fault. he taught me that even when people treat me like a doormat, I should be grateful – at least they’re paying attention.and he taught me to hate myself. pure, rancid hatred. a hatred that ran through me like thick black tar. a hatred that would take years to unlearn, and then some. it’s been over 7 years since i last spoke to my dad. since then, i’ve had a lot to unlearn.but when i think of the version of me who had to deal with that man, she feels dimensions away. i think that’s my brain’s clever way of dealing with the pain of it. to push it so deep into my memory that it doesn’t feel like mine. so that’s where i kept it.for the last seven years, I’ve pretended father’s day didn’t exist. I never got a father who protected me, who cared for me, who supported me and kept me safe. the reminder of that was too heavy to bear. but this year, after reflecting on all of this, i chose to use this day to celebrate the person who DID do those things. the person who helped me escape. then picked up the pieces and put them back together again with spit and super glue.*Me. I did that. i’m the daddy now. xo* with some help ofc by @sophcun

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a month ago

this dog is a gift every day by @sophcun

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a year ago

A moment, please, for the salt & pepper hash browns from @desertislanddumplings I’d say they were the best thing on the menu, but then I tried the spicy “pork” dumplings and now I don’t know WHAT to think. #veganmanchester by @sophcun

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a year ago

Coupla trips 2 the big smoke London - I hate you. But you’re alright sometimes x by @sophcun

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a year ago

by @sophcun

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2 years ago

Got my phone stolen and for some reason this picture was the only thing in the camera roll when I got a new one lol. p.s. pls send me pics of our mems together from this year. I’ve lost all of my 2024 photos:( by @sophcun

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2 years ago

Only Fools & Bulldogs by @sophcun

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2 years ago

I’m not exactly sure where the Narnia movies were filmed but this could be a strong contender. by @sophcun

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2 years ago

2025 Hugo calendar is underway by @sophcun

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2 years ago

Back in March I had the immense privilege of seeing Lords of the Underground and The Pharcyde play a double bill at the Ritz. It’s been months since this gig and I still don’t quite have the words to explain what this meant to me. Truly a once in a lifetime experience. Just one would have been enough to satisfy my gig tingles for a lifetime BUT BOTH?! by @sophcun

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2 years ago

Had the most amazing time last Friday seeing the Devil Wears Prada Musical in London with my AH team!The show was phenomenal I still don’t quite have the words yet. We went for food at Ave Mario beforehand and not only did I have an incredible plate of pasta - with their homemade vegan stracciatella (genuinely stuff of dreams) - but I also paid a visit to probably the best restaurant bathrooms i’ve ever been in. (obvious by the amount of selfies i took in there) A nice way to end a very busy week! by @sophcun

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2 years ago

This seems pretty apt right now doesn’t it OOH activism I snapped back in March by @sophcun

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2 years ago