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Nastya

@sunaerry

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31 y.o.

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Part 2 of 1000🌚🫣
If there's a body of water in your city, that's generally the only thing you can show me. At this point the guide's mission can be completed🤝😄 I can sit and walk on the shore/embankment for hours. Well, as long as it's not a swamp🌚
Yes, there's a 99.9% chance you'll be seeing a lot of photos with water in the coming days🫠 Sorry not sorry. by @sunaerry

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9 months ago

Let the first post of this year be imperfect, lacking top-notch photos, thoughtfulness, etc. This is my second trip abroad alone (for serious business😎💅). The first couple of days there were extremely chaotic, and I couldn't adjust to the time zone change (just 2 hours, yep🫠😅) and my head was a complete mess. Besides, on the very first day after an overnight flight, I had to get some things done.
But what immediately stood out to me about the city was its combination of diverse architecture (I love that kind of thing; it has history and isn't overly polished. At least, for now). There are tons of murals, national symbols/ornaments on the walls, various little Easter eggs all around, parks, street recreation areas, fountains, and monuments. You know, I love walking around the entire city, not just the main attractions, and trying to see the city as it is for permanent residents, not tourists. And I loved Astana from the very first day😌

So, these are the first few pictures from the first 2 days, while I'm still sorting through the piles of photos🫣 There will be more and more beautiful ones to come. by @sunaerry

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9 months ago

To those who asked to be woken up at the end of September:
🗣️📢 WAKE UP!
🌚😈 by @sunaerry

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a year ago

The first week of January is coming to an end, it's time to wake up. The events of last year have been replayed and thought through a billion times in my head. My “goals” for 2023:
- live to the end. As you can see, it's done.
- don't go crazy. Well, less successful here. I end the year and start the new one with 26 points on the Beck scale (Beck Depression Inventory, BDI).
- don't go to jail: successfully.
- save and take care of what I have. About 40 percent. My resources are depleted, so I give what I can give and save only what is really important. I don’t take anything in return because I’m not used to it and it’s not easier for others now💁‍♀️
I can say that the year ended quite well, only if I don’t go into details.
The goals for 2024 are the same. Only now 👉therapy is added and 👉the maximum possible limitation of communication with people with whom I'm most uncomfortable now (yes, damn politics). Alas, many are included in the closest circle. My patience, understanding, sanity and peace of mind are on edge. 👉Stand stronger for my boundaries and beliefs.
👉I continue to study Finnish, work, try to achieve what I want to achieve. If this year I return to creativity and by the end of the year I have at least a few drawings/whatever, it will be a miracle and I will cry with happiness for a week, and then I will give myself a medal. A chocolate one. But who knows where my brain will take me. Maybe I'll succumb to the perennial beliefs of society and those around me in the end🤔🫣
"I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter..."
Sorry🌚
Such modest plans, but difficult for me. Everything else - how it turns out, a lot now doesn't depend on me. Wish me luck to survive this year too, it won't be easier, but rather even more difficult. If I suddenly disappear for a long time from Instagram or other “forbidden” social networks: with a high degree of probability I'm not dead, but I simply don't have access. In that case, see you in ??? time on the other side.
Victory or defeat? Place your bets.
Smile and wave🌚🔥👍🔥 by @sunaerry

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3 years ago

Sunday mood🫠
Maximum match with this cutie in recent months😄 (Who am I kidding - my whole life🫣). by @sunaerry

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3 years ago

Well, this year is almost over😮‍💨💪
In general, the year was not very good. But if I do an autopsy and look in more detail, then it was damn cool despite everything that was happening around. So many unforgettable events happened and so many wonderful people appeared in my life🤯 What could be better when there are those with whom you feel comfortable and whose support you can count on, even if you're not physically close🥹 Thanks to absolutely everyone with whom I went through this year to the end, you're all dear to me🫂❤️‍🔥 Let's start a new one together and continue our journey🤝 May peace, love and friendship accompany us.
Know that you're the best in every way and don't listen to those who tell you otherwise😌

At the end of this year, I didn't want to put pressure on myself and fulfill the mission "I need to do everything and even more before December 31st." Plans for the coming year (minimum and maximum at the same time):
- live it to the end;
- don't go crazy;
- don't go to jail.
Everything else is optional😅
In fact, difficult choices and decisions await me, but I think I can handle it. The year will be challenging and interesting, for sure. The results depend on 90% of us🤝
Are you ready, kids?👂
(Aye-aye, Captain!)
I can't hear you!🧐
(Aye-aye, Captain!)🤟❤️‍🔥 by @sunaerry

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4 years ago

Outside is autumn, chaos and pizdec - inside is summer, hope for the best and sisu🤝 Hold on and we will stand together🌤️🫶

🌈VDNH, Moscow by @sunaerry

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4 years ago

I had an idea for a long time to do something similar: to combine music and drawing and create a series of works based on my favorite songs. Fate finally decided to give me a kick and apparently the time has come. Let's start with Blind Channel, their album Lifestyles of the Sick & Dangerous.

Disclaimer:
These arts were supposed to be included in the framework of the project organized by @blindchannel_bulgaria 🫂, but the year started with a nightmare and many people, for various reasons, couldn't fully participate in it. Therefore, it will be in the form of posts.

The song that captured my mind from the first notes and lines. That's what I can say about any Blind Channel song. I cannot single out any one song either from the new album or from all the songs in general, because I like each of them and each one resonates in my heart. Therefore, I will post the works in random order, depending on the mood or by random selection.
🥀Bad idea🚩
Disappointment, despair, pain, distrust, rejection and at the same time hope deep inside that everything could be or will be otherwise. This is how I feel this song. Penetrating to the bone music, vocals, lyrics, two (!) music videos🌹🩸💔
If you haven’t heard or watched yet, then this is a sign, the most clear and understandable hint: what are you waiting for?🤨

Oil, canvas🎨🖌️ Instagram refuses to post the photo in full size, the top and bottom of the photo is slightly cropped👺

#blindchannel #lifestylesofthesickanddangerous #lotsad #worldstar #blindchannelfanpage #fanart by @sunaerry

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4 years ago

Why do I always promise to draw more and post my art, sketches, etc. and don't do it? I'm trying to figure it out.
The First Nail - some of the people close to me didn't believe in my aspirations, and even more - they didn't really like it.
And it so happened that in that environment (art college), where I theoretically could completely immerse myself in such an atmosphere I love and at least a little believe in my own strength, everything happened exactly the opposite. The people who surrounded me there completely discouraged the desire to draw, to do something with my own hands for a couple of years.
I gradually returned to this, but until now I sometimes have an aversion to what I do, and thoughts in my head: "What am I doing? Why all this? This is complete sh*t." Nail Number 2.
Nail Number 3. Most of what I do is associated with strong emotions and experiences, which I then find it difficult to share with others. Most often, after some time, I want to "throw" this emotion - I expressed it on paper and don't want to see it anymore or for someone else to see it. By the way, many of my works thus disappeared from the face of the earth. And I don't think I'll ever repeat them.
The only thing I could do since 2014, when I ran away from college, was to draw or do something with my own hands, that doesn't require much effort and energy.
Worst of all, this condition is progressive. And over time, many skills are lost and you stop developing.
The good thing is that I don't care more and more what other people think of me. It remains now to deal with my thoughts about myself - low self-esteem is the Biggest Nail that is most painful to pull out.
What the heck? I can do a lot, not only draw, and this is what I liked since childhood. I'll build on that and try to get back into that state of euphoria when I was sitting at my desk/easel and the world was frozen for a while.
I'll try to post something here once a week, at least a sketch in stories. If I suddenly start doing this more often 😱 - it's not me, call the Men in Black🤝

The photo shows the main room where our college classes were held (was originally taken by me in black and white). by @sunaerry

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4 years ago

Look to the right, look to the left.
Look up👁️🌤️ by @sunaerry

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4 years ago

My main problem is that I rarely show my feelings, pain and ask for help. Even close ones. Especially close ones.
What is it: stubbornness, the desire to appear stronger than I really am, lack of trust, unwillingness to cause inconvenience to others? In my case, it's probably all at once.
I probably started to understand from the age of 4 or 5 that the world around is a disgusting place, and you are here alone with yourself. Either no one cares about your true experiences and problems, or there are such people, but they can do little to help you.
I have never sought help from psychologists or psychotherapists. I don't complain about physical pain until it becomes completely unbearable (perhaps my health would be much better now). I have always plunged myself into the abyss and pulled myself out of there on my own (don't repeat at home, done by professionals).
Meet me, I'm the same person about whom there is a popular phrase: "You are always so cheerful. - And you look into my soul, you will die of pain." Patience and a smile during the day, suffering at night - this is the foundation of the foundations.
Someone will say that this is strength (of will, spirit, etc.). No, that's crazy and (in my case) dumb.
Even those closest to me never fully know what's happening with me, deep down inside. To the question "How are you?" I always answer "I'm fine/Everything's normal" as standard. Agree, most often this answer suits everyone. But, as my paternal grandmother says: "Decipher: what does "fine/normal" mean to you?"
Be vigilant to yourself and others, carefully listen, look closely at the words / state. Show at least sincere sympathy and give rest (especially to yourself). Maybe this world will become completely different and there will be fewer losses in it.

Each stone always ends up in the center of the circles on the water. by @sunaerry

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4 years ago

There's a long post waiting for you again, don't thank me🙃
As many already know, I was diagnosed with epilepsy in October 2020. Since that time I've been in therapy. Epilepsy can manifest itself in different ways and I want to tell you how it happened for me.
For myself, I divided all manifestations into 3 groups:
1. Aura - sensations before the onset of an attack (this happened most often);
2. Attack - you're conscious, but you feel bad;
3. Grand mal seizure (seizure fit) - you're unconscious, convulsions.
Aura (imagine, doctors really describe this condition with this word) - feeling of deja vu, slight dizziness, muscle weakness, drowsiness, slight disorientation in space, increased reaction to external stimuli.
Attack - in most cases it begins immediately after the aura. In addition to all symptoms: rapid heartbeat and breathing, the smell of blood in the nose (as if it's about to bleed), an almost physical sensation of chaos in the head - as if your brain's in a panic. After an attack - a headache.
Doctors advise to lie down as soon as the aura begins, so as not to cripple yourself, but this only made me worse, deep breathing near the open window helped.
The grand mal seizure was only once at night. My mom noticed. I remember nothing. In the morning my muscles ached and my tongue hurt because I had bitten it hard.
My brain didn't react to flashes of light, as is commonly believed, but to the sounds of music, people's speech, or the combination of speech and facial expressions. I noticed that most often the reaction was to a descending sounds. Rarely - on the smells of essential oils.
That is, for about 8 months I almost didn't listen to music, didn't watch videos and films, because my brain could react inadequately at any moment. To put it mildly, not the most pleasant sensations. I wish no one experiences this.
This is all to the fact that the brain's the most unknown and unpredictable part of the body. If you have frequent /severe headaches, insomnia, quick decrease in vision, symptoms similar to mine - look for a good doctor if possible and go to him/her asap. It can start suddenly in anyone. So watch your health and state, listen to your feelings🫂 by @sunaerry

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4 years ago