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“Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but ‘Mom’s’ probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else. But just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.”

— Kalyn RoseAnne 
@tumblr 

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to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it and everything you’ve held dear crumbles like burnt paper in your hands, your throat filled with the silt of it.
when grief sits with you, its tropical heat thickening the air, heavy as water more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh, only more of it, an obesity of grief, you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face between your palms, a plain face, no charming smile, no violet eyes, and you say, yes, i will take you, i will love you, again. 

~ ‘the thing is’ by ellen bass

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Do not pour your sunshine into someone who does not think of you as their sky - Gemma Troy Sunny flower garden botanical aesthetic wild flowers
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