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Afsa Rosette

@afsarosette

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الحمد لله
Your Emotional Healing Coach
Turning heartbreak into clarity
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@afsarosette wrote this post and here are my thoughts on it......One of the most profound things about marriage is that your spouse has a way of exposing the parts of yourself that still need healing. Not just the beautiful parts, but the UGLY parts, too. The insecurities, unhealthy patterns, emotional triggers, defense mechanisms, and unhealed wounds you may have spent years avoiding.

And BABYYYYY, if you're brave enough to turn around and FACE YOUR OWN UGLY instead of running from it, that's when real healing can begin!

Because here's what I've learned: Recognizing your brokenness and doing the work to heal it are TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS.

It's one thing to acknowledge that you have unhealthy patterns. It's another thing entirely to resist the temptation to retreat into those same familiar behaviors when you're uncomfortable, challenged, or emotionally triggered.

And THAT is where so many people get stuck.

They can identify their wounds. They can explain their triggers. They can even acknowledge the damage their behaviors have caused. But when the opportunity comes to respond differently, they retreat right back into the very patterns they claim they want to change.

WHY? BECAUSE FAMILIARITY OFTEN FEELS SAFER THAN GROWTH, EVEN WHEN WHAT'S FAMILIAR IS DESTRUCTIVE.

Healing requires you to become uncomfortable with the very behaviors you've spent a lifetime using to protect yourself.

It requires humility. Accountability. Emotional maturity. And the willingness to stop making excuses for the parts of yourself that need work.

Your spouse can reveal your wounds, but they cannot heal them for you.

And let me be clear: I'm not talking about accepting mistreatment, disrespect, or emotional abuse in the name of personal growth. I'm talking about being in a relationship where love, honesty, and emotional safety create opportunities for BOTH people to recognize their shortcomings and become better versions of themselves.

Because a healthy marriage isn't just about finding someone who loves you as you are.

It's also about having the courage to become someone who knows how to love in a healthier way.

The real transformation happens when you stop saying, “Well

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@afsarosette wrote this post and here are my thoughts on it......One of the most profound things about marriage is that your spouse has a way of exposing the parts of yourself that still need healing. Not just the beautiful parts, but the UGLY parts, too. The insecurities, unhealthy patterns, emotional triggers, defense mechanisms, and unhealed wounds you may have spent years avoiding.

And BABYYYYY, if you're brave enough to turn around and FACE YOUR OWN UGLY instead of running from it, that's when real healing can begin!**

Because here's what I've learned: Recognizing your brokenness and doing the work to heal it are TWO VERY DIFFERENT THINGS.

It's one thing to acknowledge that you have unhealthy patterns. It's another thing entirely to resist the temptation to retreat into those same familiar behaviors when you're uncomfortable, challenged, or emotionally triggered.

And THAT is where so many people get stuck.

They can identify their wounds. They can explain their triggers. They can even acknowledge the damage their behaviors have caused. But when the opportunity comes to respond differently, they retreat right back into the very patterns they claim they want to change.

WHY? BECAUSE FAMILIARITY OFTEN FEELS SAFER THAN GROWTH, EVEN WHEN WHAT'S FAMILIAR IS DESTRUCTIVE.

Healing requires you to become uncomfortable with the very behaviors you've spent a lifetime using to protect yourself.

It requires humility. Accountability. Emotional maturity. And the willingness to stop making excuses for the parts of yourself that need work.

Your spouse can reveal your wounds, but they cannot heal them for you.

And let me be clear: I'm not talking about accepting mistreatment, disrespect, or emotional abuse in the name of personal growth. I'm talking about being in a relationship where love, honesty, and emotional safety create opportunities for BOTH people to recognize their shortcomings and become better versions of themselves.

Because a healthy marriage isn't just about finding someone who loves you as you are.

It's also about having the courage to become someone who knows how to love in a healthier way.

The real transformation happens when you stop saying, “We

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•an ode to my feminine rage•

there is a feral animal within this skin
biting and begging to get free.
the most powerful force I’ve ever known
lives in the rib cage of my being.

prowling on all fours, earth under my claws, at home in the dark.
there’s blood on my tongue
and I do not fear the night
for it is me.

i bare my teeth and bite at these mortal men
who gaze at me like prey.
impure intentions deep within their eyes.
greed dripping from their lips.
desperate to taste some sense of power.

as if they could stomach this truth.
as if they could break this skin.
their filthy fingers would burn to bones at one touch of this fire.

i stare until they’re scared
undo my locked jaw and laugh
watch them choke on the thought
of what happens next.

they still do not know.

tell me.

how would a jaguar play with a dog?

i will break your neck in half
before you even have the thought to run.

i will leave you bleeding in the street as a warning.

let it be known.

you
are not
worthy
of what
is sacred.

•

I wrote this poem over a decade ago to process my own lived experience. I share it now in honor of Jane Doe. May she receive the justice she deserves. May all women receive the justice they deserve.

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Nobody knows what you hold inside. It’s your job to seek it, uncover it. And unleash it ❤️‍🔥

I’m right in the middle of launching the podcast and two photoshoots. And i’m buried in my creative process. I’m discovering i’m an artist. I have waves of inspiration. I’m a writer. A visual creative.

There is time to discover who you are.

While still enjoying and LIVING your life.

I’m going through one of the most transformative phases of my life. I quit my marketing & communications job and i’m taking the leap into the whispers of my life. Knowing of the truth.

Excited, afraid, raw, exposed but truthful - is how i feel. And i’ve never been more excited. The podcast isn’t just another podcast. I had to go really inward, listen to my ancestors for this one. ❤️‍🔥

With my heart in Bali and my feet planted in Ams i say: i love you!!!

We are just getting started.

X A

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I knew I wasn't in there alone.

#nikemitaiwo

Yeah. I wrote a book on drama in JSS2 and sold it to Covenant Madubuko,😚 for N50 and another one, on an assignment, for a Fine Art Drama Project in JSS3 which was selected to be performed at the following Valedictory service. I enjoyed writing and still do.

#nikemitaiwo

I and a hundred of thousands of persons in this room. We are welcomed.

#nikemitaiwo

Yeah. It is such a soothing experience, a sweet one!

Yeah, they say, your network begins from within the everyday persons you interact with and even randomly.

#nikemitaiwo

"Transactions close deals. Relationships build companies."

Absolute truth!

On the episode of "what my Nigerian mum sends to my WhatsApp". 👉

So random and interesting!

#nikemitaiwo

A clearer picture of that.

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Equinox ☯️ Musings & the beautiful art of cycles

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Amazing thread 🥺‼️🩷
✍🏿: @afsarosette

You’re grieving all the moments in which you had a quieter truth and talked yourself out of hearing it.
Be gentle with that version of you. You weren’t stupid, you were just attached.

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🐸💼 20x from withoutastamp January dual cassette set

my phone at🪫3% link here

https://open.qobuz.com/playlist/58746600
@qobuz #qobuz #astonishedpedestrian #frog

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Figured it out . . . and figuring it out.

.
.
.
.

Photo 1: @kumi_obuobisa

#TakeLivingPersonally
#GiveMySelfButterflies

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According to the 5 love languages, giving and receiving love will always be different for you and your friends,

So if you understand that and still feel like you are always giving while your friend is not,

Say it "I feel like I am the one always giving without getting back. And it is making me tired.”

And if she responds like this

"I never asked you to" or "Did I ask you to?"

Know that, that person is not your friend.

If she responds in a dismissive tone, not caring about your feelings, I repeat that person is not your friend.

And in the words of @afsarosette "Love & like is clarity. It's not silent admiration; it's active participation. Love that can't be expressed is functionally the same as love that doesn't exist."

And I believe this also applies in friendship.

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Read that again!
With Love, Shy🌱

#withloveshy #healingjourney #selfcarejourney

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