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Aidan Burns

@aidangburns

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28. 6’3”. Green/hazel eyes. Brown hair.
Cow’s milk cappuccino ☕️
Half Full — December 3rd, 9:30pm
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Dear Employees, Our next gathering is going to be a special one! We’re celebrating a c-suite birthday: @sam.samdoctor ! Please join us, our funny friend….and one guy. Best, Rosemary & Sam
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half full with @aidangburns
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Do you remember the 21 night of September?? NO I was too excited for the 23 night of september + it was MAGICALLLLLL!!! Huge thanks to all our amazing, hilarious, + beautiful comedians & our stunning, silly, + whimsical audience!!! We'll be back @flophousecomedyclub on the 22 of this month!! Line up dropping tomorrow! Come while you can, only 3 more chances to catch the Als in 2026!!! 💓💓💓 📸 the incredibly talented @toripiper @vvictoriajeann
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Next Big Wave this Tuesday 10/13 @tendegreesbar ! Come early for buy one get one drink specials ! Tickets link in bio! #tendegreesbar #standupcomedy #standup #NYC #comedyclub comedyshow standupcomedy
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IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS Sam’s Picks 11 will show the world what unemployment DOES to a MF at our SACRED HOUSE OF WORSHIP ( @moodringnyc ) and our FINAL spotlighted performer is the one and only STEVIE BAEK, comedian, playwright, and star of 2018’s 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐌𝐀𝐍: 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐀𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 26 year old Ralph Morgan (Baek) has it all - decent job, great girlfriend, Hulu plus subscription—but he still can’t get over a ferocious bout of bullying wrought by his evil former classmate RON. The solve for his grudge comes in the form a book purchased at a local magic shop that can seemingly turn back time. Against the foreboding advice from the shopkeeper, Ralph decides to wind the clock back to 2010 to use knowledge of Ron’s beleaguered future to dish out some torment of his own. Come see @abilliondominicans show you what it took to become the prince of the Pinebox Rock Shop TOMORROW AT 7PM at @moodringnyc - the place where you left your vape in 2015!
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IN JUST TWO DAYS - Sam’s Picks 11 will RIP into the FABRIC OF FUNNY at the SANCTUM OF SILLIES (@moodringnyc ) - and this EVENING we celebrate a performer who’s skills of riffing on and off stage are UNPARALLELED : ANDREW DURSO Who’s the subject of the harrowing (not real) 2024 documentary: 𝙍𝙊𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙐𝙋𝙃𝙄𝙇𝙇: 𝙃𝙤𝙬 𝙎𝙠𝙚𝙚-𝘽𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙙 𝙈𝙮 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 After years of struggling with an emotionally damaging fixation on pinball - Andrew Durso was at the end of his rope - He had been kicked out of arcades and county fairs countless times for damaging machines or attacking players who had surpassed his high score. This bad behavior culminated in a near-death accident when he cut his arm on a Monster Mash Pinball machine (he had punched the shit out of it). The hobbyist who found him nearly bled out became fast friends with him on the way to the hospital and suggested he tried a different game: Skee-Ball - no glass, no buttons, and no intimidating flashing lights - and from then on Durso “really turned a corner,” according to his remaining friends and family. Come see @andrew_durso kill everyone in the front row from punchlines alone for FREE this Sunday at @moodringnyc - the only bar in all of Brookland with pitch black bathrooms!
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IN JUST THREE DAYS Sam’s Picks 11 makes landfall in the vapeglazed streets of Bushwick - and for the modest price of ZERO DOLLARS, you too could be a part of this comedy history . . . Amongst the heroes of hilarity on our star studded lineup is Siggy Chojnacki, star of 2023’s 𝙎𝙃𝙐𝙏𝙏𝙀𝙍 𝙎𝙋𝙀𝙀𝘿 Fledgling photographer Riley Parker (Chojnacki) spends their Sundays strolling NYC, just trying to hone their craft behind the lens - but one wide shot of Union Square turns their life upside down. Tucked away in the background of the frame, Riley managed to capture Phoebe Bridgers shaking hands with PewdiePie, as he happens to be good friends with her new boy toy Bo Burnham. While Burnham’s record is relatively clean, PewdiePie’s got a few bones in the old backyard and Phoebe’s reputation suffers accordingly. With the click of their shudder, Riley’s made an enemy out of every foul smelling sulker in the big apple - and some of those freaks know how to fight! Come see @siggy.haha show an audience of folks with great taste in comedy just what growing up in Ohio DOES TO A MF for FREE -THIS SUNDAY at the world famous @moodringnyc - the place we’ve all been to but can’t quite remember when or for what purpose!
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IN JUST FOUR DAYS . . . Sam’s Picks 11 MAKES IT ALL OK AGAIN with a ROGUES GALLERY of CHUCKLE CHASERS . . . And this Performer turned DVD packs a WHALLOP - Achille Vann Ricca stars in 2013’s 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗞𝗜𝗗 𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧? 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗜𝗘 Based in part on the lauded show Your Kid Ate What? Your Kid Ate What the movie turns things up to 11…Dr. Davis (Vann Ricca) hears his fair share of wild excuses as an ENT (Ear Nose and Throat Doctor) but when a toddler manages to eat an entire parking structure, he’s at a loss for words. Can he do what it takes to end this towering tummy ache? Zack Snyder pulls out all the stops in this action packed drama inspired by a story told to me in the parking lot that you WON’T wanna miss… Come see @achillevannricca give your funny bone a COMPOUND FRACTURE for FREE —THIS SUNDAY October 11th at 7pm at @moodringnyc I’m- the only bar in North America properly zoned for laughter of this magnitude!!
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IN FIVE DAYS (two weeks in unemployment years) SAM’S PICKS 11/11 MAKE-A-WISH COMEDY SPOOKTACULAR will SHATTER records SET BY ITSELF at the one and only @moodringnyc . . . And in attendance will be the very funny COOPER KIM, Star of the 1982 thriller 𝑨𝑳𝑰𝑩𝑰 After a botched prom-posal, Alan Brown wants nothing short of a fantastical and quick death by semi truck - but unfortunately for him, his town’s infinitesimal population doesn’t really have the draw for commercial vehicles. One morning while eating his wheaties he gets an even better idea: disappear completely (pre-radiohead). At just 13 - Alan’s ignorance could fill a law library - and if he doesn’t keep his wits about him, it may fill a closed casket… Come see @koo.perkim show you what hosting Sesh Comedy open mics does to a MF for FREE THIS SUNDAY October 11th at 7 PM at the watering hole of Brooklyn’s finest (Children from Ohio) - if you miss this, you should probably go missing yourself…
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SEVEN DAYS REMAIN . . . and don’t worry, there isn’t a long haired well witch waiting to kill you - he’s actually a mustachioed chud with great taste! In just ONE WEEK Sam’s Picks 11 hits the loading dock of @moodringnyc for another unforgettable night of laughter and Vodka Redbulls at the greatest comedy showcase in the history of the world - and the one and only AIDAN BURNS will be SLINGIN’ SILLIES alongside what we call in the biz a MURDERERS ROW of Brooklyn’s finest standups . . . to cope ahead (DBT vibes) let’s take a look back at Burns’ 2011 polarizing sequel: 𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗣 𝗕𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝟮: 𝑷𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒈𝒆 𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅𝒘𝒊𝒅𝒆 In the years since we left our heroes at the Catalina Wine Mixer, Brennan and Dale’s relationship has matured into a blossoming business they’ve always dreamed of: Prestige Worldwide. With a few movie deals and two corporate offices, PW is getting to be too much for the brother’s alone to steer - they need a third man - and who better than world famous influencer Garett Fischer (Burns). Garret made his nut chugging cold drinks in the parking lot of the local Sonic - can he make the leap from slurping slushies to running a business? Probably not. Come see why @aidangburns is called “The Hammer” by me exclusively (he’s funny as fuck) on SUNDAY OCTOBER 11TH at @moodringnyc - home to the most dimly lit bathrooms in all of Bushwack :)
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GET IN LOSERS - we’re going LAUGHING…. In just EIGHT DAYS Sam’s Picks 11 will assure parents everywhere (Ohio/Connecticut etc) that funding their child’s DJ career was TOTALLY WORTH IT… Today we highlight performer REBECCA RASMUSSEN - Who stars in the 2026 followup to @kanepixels BACKROOMS, 𝗕𝗔𝗖𝗞𝗥𝗢𝗢𝗠𝗦 𝟮: 𝗤-𝟰 𝗠𝗶𝘅𝗲𝗿 30 years after the events of the first film, the daughter (Rasmussen) of Async employee Phil (Mark Duplass) finds a floppy disk with information leading to the notorious liminal hellscape known as the backrooms - but what she stumbles upon is more horrifying than any other discovery: an office party attended by zero hot people — and you guessed it: no more cake. Every door leads to another hollow conversation about pickleball or how Jersey Mike’s isn’t what it used to be - will she escape? Or become lost amongst the sea of Ed Sheeran fans who prefer Pokemon over politics? Come see @new_bec BREAK YOUR LITTLE FUNNY BONES with her quick wit on SUNDAY OCTOBER 11TH at @moodringnyc — the place where vapes go to die dancing :)
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PEOPLE OF EARTH - pay no attention - LARPERS OF BUSHWICK - LISTEN UP!!! In just NINE DAYS, Sam’s Picks 11 11 (Sam’s Picks number 11 on October 11) will SUCK THE SILLIES out of the unemployed GUTS of Brooklyn’s DJs and Ne’er-do-wells until at least TWO OF THEM are killed from excessive laughter-driven DRY-HEAVING - and the lucky bastards won’t pay a SINGLE CENT for it… With such a SILLY CELEBRATION just around the comedy corner—Why not start the engines on our world famous gimmick! Our first performer to be highlighted as a DIGITAL VERSATILE DISC hails from the EMERALD AISLE and stars in 2023’s bittersweet, 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐌𝐲 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐖𝐢𝐟𝐞 Amy spends her birthday grieving the loss of her beloved wife Caitlin (Emma Joy) when an unexpected visit at her soulmate’s wake triggers a deep dive into a life seemingly hidden by her other half. While Amy thought Caitlin’s favorite activity was watching ted lasso while reading the New York Times recipe of the week, it turns out she mostly was into industrial music and stalking Shia Lebouf - it’s not Laura Palmer tragic but it ain’t too good neither! Come see @emmainacoma show you how they do it across the pond for FREE at @moodringnyc on SUNDAY OCTOBER 11th at 7PM - trust me, you can embellish stories of your objectively blessed childhood on substack any day of the week, but Sam’s Picks only comes once a month !
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