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🌶️ CALL HER SPICY EP5 | PROF. ROMY PARKER

A little over a decade ago, during one of the most debilitating periods of my journey with chronic pain, I was navigating the South African state healthcare system when I accidentally stumbled across Prof. Romy Parker’s pain clinic at Groote Schuur Hospital, right here in Cape Town.

I had absolutely no idea at the time just how profoundly that experience would change my understanding of chronic pain and how I related to it.

Fast forward to today and I’m sitting opposite this brilliant human, one of South Africa’s leading voices in chronic pain management, on my very own show!

In EP5 we unpack the complex relationship between chronic pain, the brain, nervous system and mental health.

After 15 years of navigating chronic illness, this conversation is incredibly close to my heart.

Because chronic pain is REAL. Even when you can’t see it.
And understanding what’s happening in our bodies can be an absolute game changer.

Here’s a little snippet of our conversation. Full episode on YouTube! Link in BIO🌶️❤️

#CallHerSpicy #ProfRomyParker #ChronicPain #InvisibleIllness #PainScience MentalHealth GrooteSchuur ChronicIllnessAwareness

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If you can find just ONE human you can fully unmask with, you’ve struck gold! 🌶️

Also… I take my hula hooping exceptionally seriously. 😂

#CallHerSpicy #Neurospicy

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🌶️ SNEAKY DROP! EP 5 of the CALL HER SPICY SHOW is here!

This time I sit down with the brilliant Prof. Romy Parker, one of South Africa’s leading voices in chronic pain management, to unpack the deeply complex relationship between chronic pain, mental health and the nervous system.

A conversation VERY close to my heart after 15 years of navigating chronic illness myself.

And on a slightly different note, my perfectionism is driving me absolutely batty! 🙃

But here’s the thing. Part of sharing this journey of building the Call Her Spicy movement and show is about challenging my OWN hardwiring.

Showing up imperfectly. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Letting go of the need to have everything perfectly polished before putting it out into the world.
Because how can I advocate for radical resilience and unbreakable self-trust if I’m not willing to practise what I preach?

So here we are. Learning, unlearning and showing up anyway.

Progress over perfection, baby. 🌶️❤️

🎙️Full episode dropping on YouTube as soon as I can sort out this sound! 🤪

#Chronicpain #MentalHealth #Resilience #BiteMe

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Finding small moments to connect while carrying a heavy heart.

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I was SO excited to shoot Episode 5 of the Call Her Spicy Show in our new location this week.

I’d finally managed to lock in a professor who genuinely changed my life and how I relate to chronic pain over a decade ago.

Prepped, headed downtown Cape Town (a different beast when it comes to parking), got lost and then 15 mins before filming the studio called to say our space had been double booked and could we shoot somewhere else.

My guest was stuck in traffic. Mild panic setting in.

Eventually we arrived, set up the lighting, checked my lippie and sat down to have a profoundly important conversation.

Meanwhile… jackhammers in a nearby office. Chatty Cathys in the shared kitchen. My neurospiciness was at FULL capacity.

I’d spent ages preparing an extensive list of questions because I know how invaluable this knowledge is for anyone living with chronic pain, like myself.

Didn’t use a single one.

We wrapped. I got back into my car and sat there for a few minutes taking some deep breaths.

Opened WhatsApp.

My dearest friend Andrew had passed away.

And just like that, everything stopped.

Adaptability may be my middle name but nothing, absolutely f**king nothing, prepares you for losing someone you love.

Today we lost another enormous-hearted man and I’m completely heartbroken.

And somewhere underneath this grief there is also rage.

How much more heartbreak do we have to endure before we change the systems that are failing people?

How many more people do we have to lose before we challenge the status quo and create more nuanced support for the humans we love?

Right now I need to grieve my beautiful friend Andrew.

But when I come up for air, I’ll be taking my life and this work up a f**king notch.

Some things just change you.

This is one of them.

My heart is with Andrew’s family during this devastating time 💔

#grief #neurospicy #resillience

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🎙️This is a reshare of a conversation I had with @sivngesi a few months ago where we touched on GBV in South Africa. This clip is not an opinion on the recent atrocities that have unfolded over the last week.

Nine women. Nine lives.

In light of the devastating discovery of nine murdered women in Ekurhuleni, I’m resharing this conversation with @sivngesi from The Call Her Spicy Show.

This one is personal.

From my own lived experience, it feels like almost every woman I’ve known has a story. Violence. Abuse. Coercion. Sexual violence. Fear.

And we are fucking angry.

569 women were murdered and 9,201 rapes reported in South Africa in just three months this year.

So what do we do with the rage?

We channel it.

Into speaking up.
Calling shit out.
Educating our sons.
Holding perpetrators accountable.
Supporting survivors.
Demanding better policing, legislation and protection.
And refusing to normalise what should NEVER have been normal.

Women should not have to become smaller, quieter or more careful to stay alive.

Our rage is information. Let’s turn it into change.

#domesticviolence #gbv #genderbasedviolence #callherspicy

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🌶️Ooh lala! Woke up to a delivery of the 𝘾𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙃𝙚𝙧 𝙎𝙥𝙞𝙘𝙮 PJs from the lovely @theirnibs team 🔥

Thank you, darlings ❤️‍🔥

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Lying outside a small business in the CBD that I accidentally parked in front of whose owner refuses to come outside. I’ve been sitting here for 2 hours.

A difficult day can explain irritability. Childhood trauma can help explain patterns of dysregulation, anger or defensiveness. But neither gives someone permission to intimidate, threaten, control or abuse another person.

And women are so often encouraged to contextualise male aggression: He’s stressed. He’s hurting. Look at his childhood. He didn’t mean it. Give him another chance. At some point, all that empathy can quietly require the woman on the receiving end to abandon her own boundaries.

The line in the sand could be beautifully simple:

Your trauma deserves compassion.
Your behaviour still requires accountability.
And my empathy does not require my self-abandonment.

That feels like the much bigger conversation here — particularly around how we teach women to distinguish compassion for someone’s wounds from tolerance of harmful behaviour.

One of my 🌶️FAM suggested I flash my n*ps but that would be a treat!

Cheque please!

#femaleempowerment

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Masking isn’t exclusive to neurodivergence. Invisible illness knows this game too. 🌶️

“I’m fine.”
While your body is crashing.

Smiling while overloaded.

Performing “normal” while running on fumes.

Pushing through because being called lazy, dramatic or difficult somehow feels worse than the crash waiting for you later.

Both can teach us to perform wellness instead of honouring our needs.

Looking fine ≠ feeling fine.

And frankly, nobody should have to audition for their struggle to be believed. 🌶️

Let’s be kinder to one another.

A💋

#Neurodivergent #Neurodiversity #InvisibleIllness #Unmasking #Adhd

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This one practice has genuinely saved my life over the last 15 years and is a profound baseline to embody.

I know it’s easier said than done but this “exercise” is a powerful cornerstone when navigating chronic adversity.

A💋

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It’s M.E. Awareness Week.

M.E. destroys lives.

It’s harrowing. Devastating. Isolating. Traumatising.

I’ve lived with it for 15 years, and I know what it’s like to wonder if life will ever feel like yours again.

What I’ve learned is this: healing isn’t always linear. Sometimes you climb the same mountain over and over again.

But every step forward matters.

I choose to believe there is always light on the other side—even if it takes longer than we hoped to find it.

To everyone living with M.E.: I see you. I believe you. And you’re not walking this path alone. 💙

#MEAwarenessWeek #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #InvisibleIllness #ChronicIllness #CallHerSpicy

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🌶️PSA for my SPICYfam… now is not the time to throw in the towel!!

Regroup. Recharge. Restart… as many times as you need.

Make life work for you even if it makes no sense to anyone else.

Be KIND but take no KAK!

A💋

#Audhd #adhd #neurodivergent #entrepeneaurlife

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