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for a year, i have been pretending that losing cameron was a distant reality i didn’t have to face. i’ve been fighting posting about him on my page, for the fear that a mark on my digital footprint forever, must mean that he truly will never come home to everyone that loved him. i have avoided talking about him, telling rare stories of my last moments with him, or shedding tears for him in the eyes of others, just because i didn’t want to believe that someone so talented, kind, selfless, and a forever imprint on my heart, could go in an instant, never saying goodbye. today, for the first time, i have to admit to myself that this is a loss that shook me harder than i realized, and continues to falter my steps and push my heart backwards. cameron follows me everywhere, shedding his wisdom, light, and smart-ass attitude on everything i see, or appreciate. some days, i am glad that i can be a medium for his presence and his mission to curate a loving environment. other days i feel consumed by the anger of it. anger at our ability to act blind to the struggles of our fellow man. anger that someone as extraordinary as cam could be physically unable to ask for help. anger that he isn’t here, so that i could make fun of twenty one pilots and spicy chicken sandwiches (two things i cannot stand, but now have grown tender for, because of how he loved them). all of this is to say, no matter how long it takes, your heart will find a way to face its traumas, look them in the eye, and counter them. love counters your fears, and understanding paves the way for your fulfillment. i’m grateful for every smile i give to people, and every hand i get to hold. if you are reading this, you are never alone, because someone is out there, waiting to pull you up. i am out there. thank you for the love. keep growing, and changing, and experiencing. and if you cannot come to love yourself in every way possible, love the world and people around you. that, to me, is cameron. we are what keep his story living. 🌻🕊️
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To my Brother,

It has been 1 year since you have left this earth and not a day goes by without you entering my thoughts 

I am forever changed by you and grateful for the time we had and the memories we both made together

If you could see me now, I know you would be proud of me

I hope one day we will drive around at night again. 

I will forever miss your presence and the guidance you have provided me

Keep watching from the front row Cam 🖤

LE

“Hard to see the light now just don’t let it go.”
- Stephen Sondheim

Thank you to @tayandbaystudios for the Incredible photos
22
One year.

I’ve been trying the last couple days to write something eloquent, something inspirational. Sometimes it’s too much.

So I’ll say just two things:

First, hold onto people you love. Tell them how much you love them. You never know when you won’t get another chance.

And second, if you are struggling mentally or emotionally, please talk to someone. Get help. The world is a far better place with you in it than without you.
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