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combatzone360

@combatzone360

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Comedian / Host / Combat Veteran
Combat Zone 360 Comedy is Military Owned and Operated. 100% money raised through Comedy goes to the Veteran Community

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Become a sponsor or individual donor and join the mission of Headwaters for Heroes. New programs are being announced this week.

#helpingourheroes #veteranshelpingveterans #

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Get your tickets now on my website (Link In Bio) or at Broadway Comedy Club. All proceeds go back to the Veterans.
#nyc #broadway #nyccomedy #nyveterans #nycveterans

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The day you receive your #dd214

#veteranshelpingveterans #militarylife #cartoon #veteranhumor

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VA APPOINTMENT DAY: THE ONLY MISSION WHERE YOU ARRIVE 30 MINUTES EARLY AND STILL FEEL 2 HOURS LATE. 😂🇺🇸

Veteran before the appointment:

☑ ID
☑ Appointment letter
☑ Medication list
☑ Medical records
☑ Questions for the doctor
☑ Snacks
☑ Phone charger
☑ Enough patience for a small deployment

Then you check in…

“You’re number 247.”

Now serving:

173. 😳

FINALLY get called back.

Doctor:
“On a scale from 1–10, how’s the back?”

Veteran:

“Do you want the honest answer… or the answer where I pretend I’m still 22?” 😂

Then comes the pharmacy:

“Here are your 11 prescriptions and 3 refills.”

Brother, I came in because my knee hurts.

WHY AM I LEAVING WITH A DUFFEL BAG?! 😂😂

But underneath the jokes, here’s the real mission:

GO TO YOUR APPOINTMENTS.

We spent years being told to suck it up and drive on.

You don’t have to do that forever.

Take care of yourself. Check on your battle buddies. And never lose the ability to laugh at the ridiculous parts.

🇺🇸 Veterans Helping Veterans
😂 Combating Veteran Suicide, One Laugh at a Time.
Combat Zone 360

#veteranshelpingveterans #community #veteranhumor #vahospital #funny

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EVERY ARMY LONG WEEKEND STARTED WITH THE SAME DAMN SAFETY BRIEF. 😂🇺🇸

Friday, 1300:

First Sergeant:
“Listen up. I don’t want to see ANY of you in the ER, in jail, or on social media doing something stupid.”

The formation:

“Roger, First Sergeant.” 🫡

Four hours later:

LONG WEEKEND, BABY!!! 😂

Saturday SITREP:

☑ Somebody drank too much
☑ Somebody went somewhere they shouldn’t have
☑ Somebody lost their phone
☑ Somebody made a questionable new friend
☑ Somebody posted EVERYTHING
☑ Somebody is already preparing their statement for Monday 😂

Then Monday morning:

First Sergeant:

“DIDN’T I JUST TELL Y’ALL NOT TO DO THIS?!”

And there’s always that ONE soldier standing in formation thinking:

“Thank God they’re not talking about me this time.” 😂😂😂

If you served, you already know:

The safety brief wasn’t designed to stop stupidity.

It was leadership’s way of saying, “I WARNED YOUR ASS.” 😂🇺🇸

Have fun. Take care of your people. Make good decisions—or at least decisions that don’t require your leadership to get a phone call.

🇺🇸 Veterans Helping Veterans
😂 Combating Veteran Suicide, One Laugh at a Time.
Combat Zone 360

#weekend #armylife #longweek #veteranshelpingveterans #militaryhumor

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EVERY MILITARY TEAM HAD THESE PEOPLE. 😂🇺🇸

The Planner: “We need a CONOP.”

Logistics: “I packed everything… except the one thing we actually need.”

Comms: “I sent it in the group chat.”
47 messages later…

Security: “WHO TOUCHED MY STUFF?!”

And Sustainment?

“Nobody gives a damn about your plan if we don’t have food.” 😂

Different MOSs. Different branches. Different jobs.

But somehow we ALL knew these people.

And years later, those are usually the people—and the ridiculous moments—we remember most.

🇺🇸 Veterans Helping Veterans
😂 Combating Veteran Suicide, One Laugh at a Time.
Combat Zone 360

#missionaccomplished #militarylife #veteranshelpingveterans #missionfirst #humor

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GETTING READY FOR A DEPLOYMENT: “PACK ONLY THE ESSENTIALS.” 😂🇺🇸

Roger that.

Uniforms. ✅
Boots. ✅
Documents. ✅
Gear. ✅
37 random cables I haven’t used since 2006. ✅
Enough snacks to survive the collapse of civilization. ✅
One completely unnecessary item that suddenly feels MISSION ESSENTIAL. ✅

Then you put the bag on the scale…

97.6 POUNDS?!

HOW?! 😂

And somehow, five minutes before movement:

“WHO HAS MY CAC?!”

Deployment preparation was basically 72 hours of organized panic followed by six months of realizing you forgot the ONE thing you actually needed.

But years later, that’s the stuff you remember.

The chaos.
The dark humor.
The ridiculous moments.
And especially the people standing beside you.

Different country. Same brothers and sisters.

🇺🇸 Veterans Helping Veterans
😂 Combating Veteran Suicide, One Laugh at a Time.
Combat Zone 360

#deploymentlife #veteranshelpingveterans #humor #veterans #nycveterans

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CIVILIAN LIFE… SAME BS. DIFFERENT UNIFORM. 😂🇺🇸

Nobody warned me that leaving the Army wouldn’t stop my brain from operating like I’m still in it.

0430: Wide awake for absolutely no damn reason.

0630:
“Today I’m working out.”
“I’m eating healthy.”
“I’m staying positive.”

0900 traffic:
Never mind. I hate everybody. 😂

1200: Meal prep has officially been replaced by a high-risk, high-reward cheeseburger operation.

1700:
“I’m not lazy… I’m conducting TACTICAL RECOVERY.”

End-of-day SITREP:

☑ Showed up
☑ Stayed relatively sane
☑ Made it home
☑ Didn’t punch anybody
☑ Still here

MISSION SUCCESS. 😂

Different uniform.
Same questionable decisions.
Same dark sense of humor.

And tomorrow?

We’ll do the whole damn thing again.

🇺🇸 Veterans Helping Veterans
😂 Combating Veteran Suicide, One Laugh at a Time.
Combat Zone 360

#veteranlife #veteranhumor #veteranshelpingveterans #army #militaryveteran

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MONDAY NIGHT BACKBRIEF. 😂🇺🇸

For my civilians: a BACKBRIEF is when you explain your plan back to leadership to prove you actually understand the mission.

So here’s tonight’s Veteran Backbrief:

NUTRITION:
Pizza was consumed. Standards were ignored. 🍕😂

PHYSICAL READINESS:
PT status: NON-EXISTENT.
Current position: Horizontal.

ADMIN:
Opened laptop.
Reviewed task list.
Immediately conducted a tactical deferment until tomorrow. 😂

SITUATION UPDATE:
Watched one video.
Somehow lost four hours.

FINAL ASSESSMENT:
Did I accomplish everything?

Negative.

Did I eat good food, laugh, recharge and survive another Monday?

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. 🇺🇸

Not every night needs a damn 5-paragraph OPORD.

Sometimes you need to sit down, laugh and recharge.

BACKBRIEF COMPLETE. DISMISSED. 😂

🇺🇸 Veterans Helping Veterans
😂 Combating Veteran Suicide, One Laugh at a Time.
Combat Zone 360

#armyhumor #veteranlife #veteranshelpingveterans #militaryhumor #combatzone360

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MONDAY MORNING… THE WEEKEND WENT AWOL. 😂🇺🇸

0500: Alarm goes off.

My brain: Absolutely not.

My military programming: GET UP. WE HAVE A MISSION.

☑ Show up
☑ Be professional
☑ Make a difference
☑ Keep a good attitude
☐ Try not to lose your mind before lunch 😂

Funny how you can leave the military…

…but the part of you that says “Get up, get dressed and handle your business” never really leaves.

Different uniform.
Different battlefield.
Same veteran.

And if Monday kicks your ass?

Regroup. Hydrate. Complain professionally. Continue mission. 😂

🇺🇸 Veterans Helping Veterans
😂 Combating Veteran Suicide, One Laugh at a Time.
Combat Zone 360

#militaryveteran #militarylife #veteranshelpingveterans #veteranhumor #combatzone360

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SUNDAY NIGHT HITS DIFFERENT WHEN YOU REALIZE MONDAY IS ALREADY IN THE STACK. 😂🇺🇸

1800: “Great weekend. Life is good.”

2000: “Wait… TOMORROW IS MONDAY?!”

2100: “I’m going to bed early. Getting up early. Working out. Starting the week STRONG.”

2130: Just one more video…

2300: MISSION POSTPONED. 😂

The military taught me to prepare for the next mission.

It apparently did NOT prepare me for Sunday-night procrastination.

But here’s the veteran battle plan:

Rest.
Laugh.
Recharge.

Then wake up tomorrow and ATTACK MONDAY ANYWAY.

And somewhere tonight, another veteran is also lying in bed saying:

“I’ll start working out tomorrow.” 😂

🇺🇸 Veterans Helping Veterans
😂 Combating Veteran Suicide, One Laugh at a Time.
Combat Zone 360

#militarylife #veteranshelpingveterans #veteranhumor #combatzone360 #militaryhumor

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FUNNY NOW… PAINFUL THEN. 😂🇺🇸

Funny how military memories work.

At the time:

0430 wake-up? HATED IT.
“YOU GOT 15 MINUTES!”? Somehow meant 5 minutes.
Field chow? Questionable at best. 😂
109° outside? “Drink water and drive on.”

But the part you remember most?

The people.

The dumb jokes that had absolutely NO business being that funny.

The conversations at 0200.

The person beside you who could make the worst day imaginable somehow suck a little less.

Years later, you forget half the misery…

…but you never forget who was standing beside you.

So here’s your morning mission:

Text one of those idiots today. 😂🇺🇸

Same people.
Same laughs.
Same brotherhood/sisterhood.

Veterans Helping Veterans.
Combating Veteran Suicide, One Laugh at a Time.

— Combat Zone 360

#veteranshelpingveterans #veteranlife #veteranhumor #memories #militarylife

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