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Centre of Perinatal Excellence (COPE)

@cope.org.au

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COPE is dedicated to supporting the emotional & mental health of hopeful, expectant & new parents.

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Behind these photos is a mummy who is struggling more than anyone realises..
My pain has been terrible, my anxiety over my C-section scar opening again (from my recent endometrial surgery) has been overwhelming, and some days I feel like I’m running on nothing but love for my boys.

This weekend, we took them away to celebrate Arlo turning 5. I pushed through the pain, the exhaustion and the anxiety because seeing those little faces light up is worth more to me than I could ever explain.
I spend nights preparing birthdays, planning holidays, organising little surprises and trying to make every special occasion magical for them. Sometimes I do it while I’m hurting, sometimes while I’m exhausted, and sometimes when all I really want to do is lie down and cry.

But I do it because I want them to have the most beautiful childhood. I want them to wake up excited, to feel special, to laugh until their little bellies hurt and to grow up surrounded by memories that make their hearts happy.

And honestly, one of my biggest fears is that one day they’ll look back and remember how much time mummy spent in hospital. How often she was in pain. How many times her body stopped her from doing the things she wanted to do with them.
After 14 endometriosis surgeries and a hysterectomy, I know my boys have seen more of my illness than I ever wanted them to.

I can’t change that. I can’t promise I’ll never have another hospital stay or another day where the pain takes over. I can’t control what my body will put me through next.

But when I look at my boys smiling, I’m reminded of why I keep trying so hard.
I hope when my boys are grown, they don’t remember how sick their mummy was. I hope they remember the birthdays i stayed up late preparing, the holidays I planned through the pain, the surprises i worked so hard to make happen.
I hope they remember the happiness, not the hospital rooms. The memories, not the pain. The love, not the illness.

#endometriosis #chronicillnessmum #motherhood #endometriosisawareness #chronicillness

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Content warning: Blood/IVF/Birth trauma

After a birth trauma, IVF or medical procedures we can be triggered by the sight of blood.
This makes it extremely difficult to menstruate every month! Y-hhhh-ikes! It's already difficult, triggering and painful - and a reminder that we aren't pregnant yet, or that we are injured still, or that we may need more operations in the future.

What I tell my clients is "control the controllable".

We can:
💙track our cycle and put in reminders into our phone in the days leading up to our period

💙keep a stash of painkillers at the ready so the pain of periods doesn't trigger us too much

💙use washable period items (like the photo) where the red blood is not visible

💙honour where we are in our journey and be kind, caring and compassionate unto ourselves

💙reach out for professional support to help overcome these triggers

💙use EFT tapping &/or EMDR to process our emotions and memories

💙show ourselves unconditional love ('I will love myself even if I'm not pregnant this month', 'I will love myself even if I need another surgery')

💙practice mindfulness by baking, painting, potting in the garden, drawing, making legos, being crafty, sewing, etc

All of our trials can (usually) be overcome with patience and support, but in the mean time, controlling the controllable can help.

BLUE💙HEARTS💙COUNSELLING

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If you are a therapist seeking to build your confidence and clinical skills to support your clients through perinatal loss, this online course might suit your needs.
LINK IN BIO

#pregnancyandinfantlossawareness
#therapisttraining #perinatallosstraining #griefandlosscounselling

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Birth trauma doesn’t just disappear because the years have passed. Sometimes, the smallest thing can take you straight back to the moment that changed you.

This week, my son turns 5. And almost five years later, I’ve been reminded just how deeply birth trauma can stay with you.

I’m only 3 weeks post op from endometriosis surgery, and last night I noticed something wasn’t right with the incision on my C-section scar. I wish that incision wasn’t on my C-section scar, because that scar already holds so many painful memories.

The moment I noticed it, my whole body went cold. I felt numb. It was like my body had taken me straight back to that hospital, to being in ICU, terrified, with a newborn baby I hadn’t even met yet. Back to my C- section scar opening and leaking for months afterwards.

Almost five years later, and something so small brought all that fear and pain rushing back.

I was talking to a friend today, trying to explain what had happened, and the only way I could describe it was that my body had gone back to that place. I wasn’t just remembering what happened. For a moment, it felt like I was there again.

That’s the thing about birth trauma. You can keep going, raise your babies, smile, laugh and get on with life, but sometimes your body remembers things your mind has tried so hard to move on from.

And just because it happened years ago doesn’t mean it no longer hurts.

To the mums who still feel it, who are triggered by hospital visits, scars, smells, dates or unexpected reminders I see you. you are not alone.

Birth trauma is hard. And you deserve to be heard long after you and your baby have left the hospital.

#birthtrauma #birthtraumaawareness #maternalmentalhealth #endometriosis #motherhood

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This World Mental Health Day, we’re shining a light on parents in the perinatal period: that’s from conception through the first year after birth.

Becoming a parent is one of the biggest emotional transitions a person can experience, and a time when 1 in 4 mothers and 1 in 10 fathers will face a mental health condition, many without timely or adequate support.

At COPE, we are passionate about supporting all parents through this journey. From the hopeful who are trying to conceive, to the expectant parents carrying joy and anxiety in equal measure, and the new parents adjusting to life and finding a new normal.

@cope.org.au is dedicated to supporting every parent by:

💜Empowering and reassuring through evidence-based resources – so no parent navigates this journey without the right information.

💌Delivering free weekly psycho education through our Ready to COPE guide - so every expectant and new parent feels supported and reassured.

🔗 Providing accessible pathways to support for every parent through the COPE Directory - so they can access the help they need.

✔️Free health and wellbeing self-checks to help parents identify symptoms of stress, depression, anxiety or PTSD after a traumatic birth, and if they may benefit from further information and/or support.

To every organisation, clinician and advocate working in the mental health space: thank you. Every conversation, referral and policy change brings us closer to a system where no one goes without support. ❤️

Find the links to our resources in our bio

#worldmentalhealthday #perinatalmentalhealth

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We’re trained to recognise the obvious signs that someone needs help. But when it comes to mental health, those signs aren’t always easy to see.

Someone can show up to work.
Make everyone laugh.
Look after their family.
Get through their day.

And still be struggling more than anyone realises.

This World Mental Health Day, let’s remember that first aid isn’t only about responding to what we can see.

It’s about noticing changes. Making space for conversations. Listening without judgement. Taking people seriously. And knowing when it might be time to help someone access further support.

Not every emergency comes with a warning sign. Sometimes, we simply need to pay closer attention to each other. Know that you don't need to have all the answers. Just notice, ask, listen, and connect. Checking in can say: I see you. You matter.

...and you don't have to go through hard things alone.

Support is here:
@cope.org.au
@pandanational
@beyondblueofficial
@lifelineaustralia ph 13 11 14
For immediate emergency assistance, call 000.

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Closes Oct 9th. If you want to improve the postpartum care for mothers and families, please make a submission to the senate inquiry. There’s an easy way to do it that is in my bio.

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Happy 7th wedding anniversary to my husband. 🤍

You have been there for me since the very beginning, but something I’ll always be grateful for is that you believed me from day one.

Fun fact: you were actually the person who pushed me to keep searching for answers when I was in pain. You never told me it was “normal.” You never made me feel like I was imagining it. You believed me when I didn’t even know how to believe myself.

You’ve watched me go through 14 surgeries, endometriosis surgeries, leg surgeries, emergency surgeries, a hysterectomy and more hospital admissions than either of us ever imagined.

You’ve held my hand while I was being put to sleep before my emergency C-sections. You’ve sat beside hospital beds. You’ve watched me wake up in pain. You’ve held me when I was breaking, and picked me up when I didn’t think I had anything left to give.

You’ve seen every version of me — the strong one, the terrified one, the exhausted one, the broken one — and you’ve loved every single one.

Seven years married, and I honestly don’t know how I would have survived some of these years without you.

Thank you for believing me.
Thank you for fighting for me.
Thank you for staying.

Happy anniversary to my husband, my safe place and the person I want beside me through every chapter. 🤍

#weddinganniverary #endometriosis #chronicIllness #marriage #mentalhealth

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This October, every order on our website means $1 is donated to @cope.org.au, our perinatal mental health partner.

The path to parenthood can bring many changes and challenges, many of which we don’t expect. COPE helps families get the support they need throughout pregnancy and the first year of being a parent. We are proud to help fund their research through health and wellbeing self-checks.

Shop with us any time this month via our online store at tommeetippee.com.au and we'll donate $1 per order.

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💛 MADDY’S STORY 💛

Maddy bravely shares her experience with PND/PNA — something that can feel incredibly difficult to talk about, but is so important for others to hear.

Thank you, Maddy, for being so open and vulnerable and for trusting me/us with your story. By sharing the highs, the lows and the reality of what you experienced, you may be helping another mum realise that she isn’t alone. 🤍

Postnatal depression and anxiety can affect anyone, and struggling doesn’t make you a bad mum. Sometimes, simply hearing someone say “I’ve been there too” can make such a difference.

Thank you for helping break the silence and creating a space where mums can feel safe to speak honestly about how they’re really doing. 🫶

Maddy, your story matters. Your vulnerability matters. And the conversations you’re helping create matter. 🤍

If you’re struggling, please know you don’t have to go through it alone. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength, not weakness🫶🏻

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I’m tired.
So f****** tired.
So shaken up.

But my boys need me.

So I get up.
Even when I don’t know how. 🤍

#endometriosis #hospital #medicaltrauma #endometriosissurgery #trauma

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HG affects far more than your ability to eat and drink.

Research shows increased rates of anxiety, depression and post-traumatic stress symptoms among people affected by HG. For some, this distress improves as the physical illness resolves. For others, the impact continues well beyond pregnancy.

HG is a physical illness. Experiencing psychological distress does not mean it is “all in your head” - it means your mental health deserves care too.

Australia:
PANDA: 1300 726 306
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Immediate danger: 000

#HyperemesisGravidarum #HGSupport #HyperMumma #HGAwareness #MaternalMentalHealth

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