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I find myself being asked to explain my practice and work often. I create to build the world that I wish to be a part of. I create for nuance. I create for queer expression. I create as a way to process all that I cannot understand. I create as a channel for change. I don’t have all of the answers, and I don’t claim that for myself. I create because I don’t know that I have any answers. I do, however, feel in my bones that creation is the way for me to see beyond myself. It’s a way that I can connect to people and spirit outside of this body in this lifetime. It’s the way that I get kicked on my ass, wipe myself off, and try again in a different way. It’s the way I do this as a means of finding myself over and over again that is messy and non-linear and queer as fuck. It’s the way I keep coming back to the land as a way of saying “please hold me, I’m going in harder than I ever have before.”

It’s the constant push and pull I feel every day. It’s “I am here” and “you are there” and “what is the bridge in between us?” How can I as a queer person wholeheartedly exist in the containers or lack of containers that I feel fit? So what if I change my mind? Where can we better meet sticky conversations with nuance and question instead of blame and judgment?

These conversations often pin us against one another when in reality the root at which we feel injustices stem from the space of trying to keep us small. It’s the way that we are able to hack at this system in our individual ways that makes my heart swell. It’s “hey, I’ve got it from this container of queerness and embodiment and land” and “I see you hacking at it through the lens of queerness and disability and digital accessibility” that keeps me coming back. It’s the “I see you expanding in your work and giving less fucks” that gives me permission to be bigger in my own body, voice, and work. When someone shies away from me because I wake up with questions bigger than myself, it becomes the door of opportunity for me to find those conversations that are welcomed in other spaces. 

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