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Today I’m 8 years old, which is roughly 48 in dog years, so frankly I’ve earned the right to be deeply demanding and completely unreasonable 👑 Mum’s crying uncontrollably 🥹 I’ve been granted one ceremonial day off from being epileptic and apparently we’ll deal with the seizures later, which feels like excellent birthday planning 🥩 💥 Tonight I’m going to @margaretdoublebay for a steak because nothing says “spoilt unemployed 48-year-old man still living with his mother” quite like fine dining on someone else’s credit card 💸  Please wish me a happy birthday unless you are cool with 8 yrs of bad luck 😉 Mum has already spent eight years emotionally, financially and medically overinvested in me, so at this point we may as well encourage her.
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