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Dolly Chugh

@dolly.chugh

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Behavioral Scientist • Professor • Speaker
Author of:
THE GOOD BOSS PROJECT (March 2027)
A MORE JUST FUTURE
THE PERSON YOU MEAN TO BE

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

I want to thank god I was able to meet all these amazing people and was able to gain the experience I did working alongside them!! Thank you Dr. C.J. Singh for opening the doors for me!!

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“You can't learn from a mistake you're still defending.”

In this episode of @themelrobbinspodcast, Dr. Dolly Chugh shares a mindset shift that completely changed how I think about growth, mistakes, and self-improvement.

Comment “Dolly” and I’ll DM you the link to the full episode.

Dr. @dolly.chugh is a renowned behavioral scientist, award-winning NYU Stern professor, and expert on why people resist change.

She says, “instead of trying to prove yourself, you need to focus on improving yourself."

Because you don’t grow by proving you were right. You grow by being open to doing better next time.

🎧 “Stop Wasting Your Energy: How to Deal With People Who Won’t Change & What to Do Instead”

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube - search “Mel Robbins Podcast Dolly Chugh”

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Listen First Before Trying To Help 💛

💥 Most people don’t realize their anxiety is actually a dysregulated nervous system.
Comment “EBOOK” and I’ll send you our 7-day reset ⤵️

▫️ The pause that changes everything
Dr. Dolly Chugh reminds us that most of us want to help the people we love, but that does not mean they asked us to solve their problems. She shares the W.A.I.T. rule, “Why am I talking?” It is a loving pause before we jump in. When we are talking about someone else’s problem, we are almost always talking at them, not with them. Waiting gives space for their story to breathe and shows we value their experience more than our advice.

▫️ Heard, hugged, helped, or high fived
Instead of assuming, Dolly offers a beautiful check-in that works so well in families: do you want to be heard, hugged or helped? And her own addition, or high fived. Heard means they need to vent, no fixing needed. Hugged means they need to feel loved and safe. Helped means they actually want your advice and are asking for it. The high five piece is often missed, a lot of us want people to notice how hard we are trying, how exhausted we are, how well we are doing.

▫️ Love listens before it leads
The shift is from solving to serving what is truly needed. When you ask before you advise, you honor autonomy and build deeper trust. You move from talking at someone to truly being with them. Sometimes the most helpful thing is not a solution at all, it is presence, affection, or simple recognition. That small question can prevent so much misunderstanding and make love feel felt.

🔸Join the conversation!
Next time someone you love brings a problem, will you W.A.I.T. and ask if they want to be heard, hugged, helped, or high fived?
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Follow 🔥 @spark__growth
Follow 🔥 @spark__growth
Follow 🔥 @spark__growth
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🗣️: Dr. Dolly Chugh - @dolly.chugh
🎥: Mel Robbins Podcast
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#communicationskills #activelistening #friendship #betterrelationships #emotionalintelligence

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Valerie and I were honored to be a part of the book launch of #StayingTrueYoYou. It is so exciting to see this book come to fruition. It was great to hear from Dr. @patriciahewlin. So much love in the room; and it was an enlightening conversation! Thank you for sharing your brilliance!

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I had a realization recently that will probably make me millions.

This season was full of tough conversations, and I don’t mind confrontation, but I caught a pattern in myself that I did not love...

I was getting defensive.

And defensiveness is not a character trait of a great leader. Because when you’re defending, you’re not listening. You’re explaining, and justifying, and proving your side. You just want them to understand YOU.

Then I heard Dr.@dolly.chugh say this on @melrobbins’ podcast: “We get into a space where we try to PROVE ourselves instead of trying to IMPROVE ourselves.”

And that’s the part worth remembering, because every hard conversation is a negotiation. A sales call, a hire, a price, a boundary.

So now I’m asking myself, not “what did I get right today,” but “what did I learn today.”

@dollyparton RIP, the true pioneer of living this out loud. She’s inspired me to seek to understand more.

Catch the moment you start building your case. Then just, don’t.

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The biggest reason you still feel stuck is because you're focused on defending yourself instead of improving yourself.

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Dr. Dolly Chugh shares a simple insight that completely changed the way I think about mistakes, growth, and self-improvement.

Dr. @dolly.chugh is a renowned behavioral scientist, award-winning NYU Stern professor, and expert on why people resist change.

So often, you get stuck trying to prove yourself. Proving you're right. Proving you're a good person.

And when something goes wrong, your instinct is often to defend yourself.

To explain. To justify. To prove why it happened.

But as Dr. Dolly explains, you can't learn from a mistake you're still defending.

Because growth requires something different.

Curiosity. Humility. And the willingness to ask:

"What can I learn from this?"

Instead of:

"How do I prove I'm not wrong?"

The moment you stop focusing on proving yourself and start focusing on improving yourself, everything changes.

Life isn't asking you to be perfect.

It's asking you to keep growing.

🎧 “Stop Wasting Your Time: How to Deal With People Who Won’t Change & What to Do Instead”

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube - search “Mel Robbins Podcast Dolly Chugh”

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“You can't learn from a mistake you're still defending.”

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Dr. Dolly Chugh shares a mindset shift that completely changed how I think about growth, mistakes, and self-improvement.

Comment “Dolly” and I’ll DM you the link to the full episode.

Dr. @dolly.chugh is a renowned behavioral scientist, award-winning NYU Stern professor, and expert on why people resist change.

She says, “instead of trying to prove yourself, you need to focus on improving yourself."

That means being willing to admit when you got something wrong.

To listen instead of getting defensive.

To ask, “What can I learn from this?”

Because you don’t grow by proving you were right.

You grow by being open to doing better next time.

🎧 “Stop Wasting Your Time: How to Deal With People Who Won’t Change & What to Do Instead”

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube - search “Mel Robbins Podcast Dolly Chugh”

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If you’re exhausted from trying to change someone, this is the mindset shift you need.

Comment “Dolly” and I’ll DM you the link to the full episode.

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Dr. Dolly Chugh shares one of the most freeing lessons I’ve ever heard about helping people grow.

Dr. @dolly.chugh is a renowned behavioral scientist, award-winning NYU Stern professor, and expert on why people resist change.

What I love about Dr. Chugh’s’s approach is that she takes the pressure off.

Because your job isn’t to make someone change.

Your job is to create the conditions that make change possible.

And as hard as that is to accept, it’s also incredibly freeing.

The moment you stop trying to control someone else’s growth is the moment you get your energy back.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is stop pushing, start pulling, and give someone the space to choose for themselves.

🎧 “Stop Wasting Your Time: How to Deal With People Who Won’t Change & What to Do Instead”

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube - search “Mel Robbins Podcast Dolly Chugh”

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Get ready with me to do hair & makeup for @dolly.chugh for @themelrobbinspodcast ✨and yes my husband and I wear matching pajamas 😂 🩵🤍 #grwm #makeupartist

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Before you give advice, ask yourself this question.

In this episode of @themelrobbinspodcast, Dr. Dolly Chugh shares a simple question that can completely change the way you support the people you love.

Comment “Dolly” and I’ll DM you the link to the full episode.

Dr. @dolly.chugh is a renowned behavioral scientist, award-winning NYU Stern professor, and expert on why people resist change.

Before you jump in with solutions, stop and use the WAIT Rule.

Ask yourself: Why Am I Talking?

When someone comes to you with a problem, it's easy to assume they want advice.

But a lot of the time, they really just want to be heard, encouraged, or acknowledged for how hard they’re trying.

One mistake I've made over and over again is trying to immediately make someone feel better and fix the problem or give advice.

But often, that's not what they need.

Sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is pause long enough to understand what someone is truly asking for.

Because support isn't about giving the right answer.

It's about giving someone what they need in that moment.

🎧 “Stop Wasting Your Time: How to Deal With People Who Won’t Change & What to Do Instead”

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube - search “Mel Robbins Podcast Dolly Chugh”

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This is how to politely shut down any rude comment.

In this episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast, Dr. Dolly Chugh shares one of the most useful communication tools I've ever heard.

Comment “Dolly” and I’ll DM you the link to the full episode.

Dr. @dolly.chugh is a renowned behavioral scientist, award-winning NYU Stern professor, and expert on why people resist change.

When someone says something rude, offensive, or completely inappropriate, most of us feel like we have two choices:

Stay silent or start an argument.

But Dr. Chugh explains there's a third option.

Without getting pulled into a debate, simply say:

"Ouch," or "whoa."

Or one of my personal favorites that I learned from Jefferson Fisher:

"Did you actually mean to say that out loud?"

Not every rude comment deserves your energy and not every difficult person deserves your attention.

Sometimes the most powerful response is the one that doesn't invite an argument at all.

🎧 “Stop Wasting Your Time: How to Deal With People Who Won’t Change & What to Do Instead”

Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or YouTube - search “Mel Robbins Podcast Dolly Chugh”

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A lovely surprise in my inbox yesterday!

When @dolly.chugh’s Dear Good People newsletter hit my feed, I was ready to dive in, as usual. Little did I know that STAYING TRUE TO YOU would be featured on her recommended reading list!

Honored to see it highlighted under “Set Yourself and Others Up for Success” alongside books of authors I admire and respect— @carolinewebbauthor, @klotzleidy, @angelalduckworth, Nitin Nohria, and @michaelbungaystanier.

Thank you so much, Dolly!

#leadershipadvice #leadershipwithheart #psychology #careeradvice

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