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@dr._.dandelion

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Today was more than just a personal milestone accomplished. I finally hit a 60+ mile training week. I know there are people out there hitting 100 mile weeks. Insane. But 12 year old Jared would be gagged if he saw me now. He wouldn’t even believe it was him if I went back and told him I’m him from the future.

If I told Jared from 3 years ago that last month he would have been clean from hitting a bag for 3 years now, he would call you a stick in the mud.

Or even told Jared from a year ago that he no longer needed any natural herb or psychedelic to answer and face the scariest questions his mind could fathom or that his 3 mile a day challenge would turn into chasing a personally fast marathon goal training block, he wouldn’t believe you.

Days when I feel like I don’t want to. I remember that I turned finishing a run my dad didn’t finish, into somehow feeling like he’s running with me everyday.

I feel like recently a lot of people would view me as this “holier than thou” person. I don’t run with run club, i’m not interested in growing a community around me (at least for right now). That’s no shade to run clubs. I think they’re great. I respect them. I’m not trying to grow a following, if I somehow happen to inspire, even better. But right now this journey is the most personal it’s ever been. The most important community i’m interested in building is the one with myself. The fact of the matter is I actually used to rely TOO much on people around me to tell me who I was.

The story has changed. I am capable of change. And that’s a good thing. No matter what they try to tell you.

You can try to listen to how other people will tell you how to do it. Or you can listen to how you know you want to do it. The choice is yours.

63 mile training week in the books. The chapters only get better. #run #running #fitness #strava #marathontraining

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Friendship, love, and music

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Sittin right

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Film from this summer — a culmination of time spent outside, lounging on Jenny’s roof, completing yoga teacher training. A bittersweet goodbye to a very full summer

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Ok NOW summer is officially over. The equinox hit

I actually waited till fall cause i’m patient like that

Mom and Dad(spiritual)

(L to R) Sporty Spice, Baby Spice, Posh Spice, Scary Spice

Separated at birth fr

that’s how you look to me btw

touch sand

We love you Lulu, so much, your legacy will live through all the lives you touched. We will sing, dance, perform in your honor

Stay, for what the possibility of tomorrow can bring

Brb making a plaque with my name for this overpass

Day 213/365: Cause you know I’d run a thousand miles if I could just….

Long run views

My OG passion

You are who you’re trying to become

We stole grapes from the vine

She even caught a shrimp in her mouth

My escape

Call me Shakiro

Sibling dinners

I’m the one ❤️

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Oh, Lulu. Writing this has been one of the most difficult things I have had to do in my life. For one, I’m gutted by the finality of a fucking goodbye post. & you know I have been avoiding the act of sharing my inner world with anyone other than you and those closest to me until now.

♡ It’s been 14 days since I lost a 6’4 piece of my fat ass heart.

♡ To say that I’m devastated would be an understatement. I can hardly catch my breath under this massive weight of guilt; the feeling that we failed to save a wild little boy who just wanted to be loved. & I want everyone to know he was loved so immensely.

♡ I’m comforted to know that you are free of suffering. No longer limited by this earthly form & you are fucking everywhere babe. I feel you in the kites that dance in the sky and the songs that pierce my soul. The flame that stings so good when you get too close.

♡ I’ll miss how you integrated heavenly beauty with grotesque horror shit so effortlessly. My gorgeous spooky fairy baby. How you embodied divine feminine and masculine energy in one body. SO MUCH ENERGY. My favorite energizer bunny, who is going to hop with me for hours at the rave?

♡ I’ll miss how much you loved a YAP but also how much you listened! Your home cooked meals, massages, deep talks. I’ll miss seeing myself through your eyes, & how you captured all my best angles (“chin down Ana x100000”). & of course your jean shorts fit perfectly on my ass?

♡ You haven’t stopped talking to me through music since you passed. We probably were Spotify top streamers of mgk’s tickets to my downfall in 2021. The MGK to my trippie redd. The joker to my Harley Quinn. The way you got me like no one else did.

♡ My heart will long for your infectious laugh, your cute zoomie mannerisms, your grounding touch, your creative flow, your tenderness.

♡ But from now on everything I do will be in memory of you. You would want me to show vulnerability when my default is strength. To bear my bleeding heart wide open when I want to crawl into my seashell. I love you forever and always and infinity and beyond. Time only exists on this earth, so I know I am already dancing in the clouds with you right this second.

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pictured : the reasons I smiled this week!!

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Day 207/208: Matter of fact this whole last week has been inconvenient but….
#run #running #fitness #strava #grief

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Day 206: One of the best days i’ve had in months #run #running #fitness #strava #grief

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Day 201: I know I’m gonna watch this back and wish I said certain things better, or wishing I didn’t say something. But there is no right way to feel in times like this. With Love, please take care of yourself so you can help take care of others. #run #running #si #mentalhealth #grief

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Just when you thought you were marked safe from Honcho posts

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To the man that gave me wings:

Whether you knew him a lifetime or met him but 5 minutes prior, Lulu would pick you up and make you feel like you can fly. He has lifted countless numbers of people up and carried them on his shoulders giving us experiences we could not have reached without him. The love he gave us is profound. The pain of his loss felt by me, and others who he gave wings to, is immense. Lulu, my dear fairy friend, I am deeply honored that you showed me how to fly. 🧚‍♀️🧚🧚‍♂️

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