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Elisha Lee

@elisha.l.ee

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I’m a talker
🪩 Mummy
Faith Deconstruction —> @faith.unraveled

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@headtripindio What a once in a lifetime experience🩵⚡️One of the most stacked lineups and created memories with beautiful people🥹 Heart is so full and happy

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BREAKAWAY WITH MY GIRLSSSSS ✨ #breakawayutah

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When Maddi left for college almost a decade ago I experienced a grief that even today, i can’t put into words. I cried for weeks and felt the heaviness of the reality that life would never be the same as our kids left the nest.

Our little nuclear family. Our weekly FHE and family prayers and scripture study and youth activities and early morning seminary. All the things I believed good families should do. Our lives were intertwined in ways many little families are, and I fiercely mourned the life I built as it slipped through my fingers.

It’s a weird experience grieving something that you accept entirely…knowing that kids growing into adults is exactly what our work as a parents is for. But to be shredded by it at the same time.

2 years after maddi left for college my faith came unravelled as I was preparing to become a seminary teacher. Our family eventually left the church. I would have never believed or accepted that path or the changes that were ahead of us. But now today, 9 years later, my griefy fight with fate is barely a memory. Im happier than ever, living a life with my family that would have terrified me.

I like to think back on that first semester of college, with insight that only a decade could give me, and whisper to that terrified, devastated mom that life isnt over. Its just getting started.

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Someone watching today has recently decided to step away from the faith that has held them . Today I speak to you, my friend.

My heart is squeezed tight and my eyes are filled with tears as I remember those first months and years after stepping away from the church. I can feel it like it was yesterday - that weird and difficult sense of grief for the things in my life that suddenly disappeared. All the tiny threads of life that were at once gone. The missions we looked forward to. The ward parties. Fathers blessings.

That strange and debilitating sense that we would leave it all behind. And even stranger, that would all go on without us.

The only real, meaningful reflection I can offer as I look back on that space of time in my own life is this realization that there was no other way but through it. Through that sticky liminal space. The stretches of time when we feel suspended, when decisions are unmade, that sense that you are forgetting something- an obligation, a moment of devotion, an unattended responsibility. And even though logically you know you don’t believe it anymore, that life is stitched into your bones. So it will continue to haunt you like a lost friend. Until one day, it doesn’t.

With time and curiosity and a smaller-now circle of people… it gets better. And you will have more exciting new adventures than you’ll know what to do with.

Come back and tell me what they are - I couldn’t be more thrilled for you 🥂

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Amazing food, drinks, quality time, and endless yapping for the soul. 🥲❤️‍🔥

Feeling so much gratitude for the powerful bond we’ve created and the memories we keep adding to it. Mexico City, you were one for the books. 🇲🇽🌮🌯🌊🌵🛶

Good food, beautiful places, and even better people. ❤️

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chapter 2 is something

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What’s chic for you lately?

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I love him so much ✨ he knows exactly what he’s experiencing in this miracle moment in his life and he’s generous enough to take us for the ride. So much love to you @buntmusic - a lot of people needed this tonight 🥹🫶

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“Time with the family is priceless “
💙💜🖤💛💚❤️‍🔥

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Meet me at Woogie ⚡️🪩

My first @libfestival was a dream (except for sun poisoning on the last day—that was pure agony). It was a weekend of the most amazing people and immaculate vibes. 💃

S/O to @redexon74 & @elisha.l.ee for being the best rave mom & dad!! Y’all are the best 🫶

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The beauty and strength of female solidarity. Knowing you are never fighting a battle alone. 🩷 No burden too heavy to carry among many shoulders. Breast cancer doesn’t stand a chance. @arianakpham - my sweet angel- you will overcome and we are all here to help you heal. ❤️‍🩹 #fuckcancer🎀 #femalestrength #neveralone

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