Instagram story viewer> @evan__fitzgerald> Tagged

Evan Fitzgerald

@evan__fitzgerald

1.7K

followers

1521

following

Umich - AK 🇴🇲
VRC 🕊️🕊️

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Made it through the intro did ya?

788

137

2x2

50

2

It’s time for the first league game of the season! Your Wolverines head south to face off against BGSU! #goblue

138

7

I’m toastin

721

104

Mostly chicago but I’m actually not in chicago right now but sometimes I am and here is some of those times

718

89

Denali sighting

8

0

808

7

Heavy metal summer??

837

106

EXTRA! EXTRA! PLAY IT AGAIN SPORTS PULLS THE TRIGGER!

FITZGERALD OUT AFTER HISTORIC COLLAPSE; KEIM TAKES THE HELM

ANCHORAGE, Alaska — In a move many described as “three losses overdue,” the Alaska Jets Summer Hockey League announced Tuesday that Head Coach Evan Fitzgerald has been relieved of his duties after an “entirely unacceptable” collapse in the standings.

League officials cited Fitzgerald’s repeated absences from games, a blown league lead, and what one sponsor called “a season-long commitment to making everyone else’s job harder.”

“The numbers don’t lie,” an anonymous sponsor said while dramatically folding a lawn chair. “You can’t miss games, watch a first-place team fall apart, and expect to keep your whistle.”

Sources say league executives reached the decision after an emergency 17-minute meeting in which blaming Evan proved far easier than fixing the penalty kill.

Taking over immediately is Austin Keim, whose first order of business is reportedly getting everyone to simply show up and stop finding creative ways to lose hockey games.

Players welcomed the news, with one anonymously admitting, “We thought Coach was stuck in traffic… then it was July.”

Fitzgerald exits after turning what looked like a championship season into one of the league’s most impressive disappearing acts.

223

0

I guess there’s no such thing as May showers

902

144

wedding of the century

21

7

#officiallyunc

3

100