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An Archive in Motionโ€”Queer Fire Island: Then, Now, and the Future Weโ€™re Building
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๐Ÿ“Fire Island Pines. See you again real soon.
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I have a confession to make. 

At the intersection of curiosity and judgement is my own fear - a fear that has told me โ€œthere arenโ€™t spaces for you.โ€ 

Growing up, I didnโ€™t have queer role modelsโ€ฆthe only framework for queerness was the hellfire and brimstone of my spiritual upbringing, the โ€œthatโ€™s gayโ€ laced with condemnation and exclusion, and the rather two dimensional characters portraying it on tv shows. I didnโ€™t see me. 

Later, at my first club in weho, I was told that I was finally in a place where I belongedโ€ฆbut I was dismayed at the way that the beauty of queerness appeared to be closeted behind performative belonging and social masking. 

Over the years, my whole self has often struggled to know how to integrate fully into a space. Especially when my deep spirituality and my burgeoning sexuality have been seemingly pitted against each other.
Since then, Iโ€™ve tried to participate in and create spaces where the intersection of these selves can exist and even enrich each other. Itโ€™s been one of the great joys of my life :) 

And yet, thereโ€™s still work to be done (as evidenced by this past weekend).

When I got the invite to go to Fire Island with friends- a place of significant lore in Queer history - I felt that familiar fear emerge.

And yet, as I made sand castles and frolicked in the ocean and danced and sang while playing volleyball, I felt an invitation arriveโ€ฆ

โ€œStop waiting for a space to determine whether you belong, can you be so at home with yourself that you are fully wherever your feet land?โ€

I dug my toes a little deeper, shimmied a little harder.

โ€œYes.โ€

Part of what compelled my move to NYC this year was to experience an expansion of the definition of home and to confront my fear. I am grateful to be on this journey of homecoming - and Iโ€™m grateful to get to share it with you :)
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