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Today, my sweet Joey, you would be 18 years old. 🤍

This video was taken on your very first birthday, when you took your very first steps. Watching it now, I can’t help but wonder about all the steps that were supposed to come after.

I wish I could have watched you take all the little steps life had waiting for you. Your first steps into school, your first steps onto a baseball mound, the day you got your driver’s license and took your first steps toward independence, and watching you take those first steps across the stage at your high school graduation. I wish I could have watched you grow from the little boy taking those first wobbly steps into the incredible young man you would be today.

There are so many moments I wish I could have shared with you. So many birthdays I wish I could have celebrated by your side. The hardest part of losing you wasn’t just losing the time we had, it was losing all the time we were supposed to have.

But for 16 beautiful months, I got to be your mom. I got to hold you, love you, hear your laugh, and watch you discover the world one tiny step at a time. Those memories are treasures I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

You may never have gotten the chance to take all the steps I dreamed of watching you take, but you changed my life in ways I could never have imagined. Your life was short, but your impact was forever.

Happy 18th Birthday in Heaven, my precious JoJo. I hope somehow you know how deeply you are loved and how much you are missed. I will always wonder who you would be today, while forever being grateful for the little boy you were and the love you gave me.

You will always be my baby. My greatest heartbreak. My greatest love.

I would give anything to see where those little feet would have taken you.
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On Wednesday April 24th, 7:15am I called my mom with the kids on the way to school drop to not only say Happy Birthday but also to tell her I would be there soon to pick her up. But this time is wasn’t for brunch. The night before her MRI results had come in and the neurologist had found a very large tumor in her brain. 

I went with her with a small bit of relief that we now knew what all of her issues she has been experiencing were related to but also so scared because she is my everything. My best friend. The woman I have learned to be who I am from. I want to protect her, I don’t want anything to happen to her. Why would god let something happen to another person I love again? The most amazing person I know. Why would he put her through anything more? She doesn’t deserve this. 

Tomorrow morning at 8am she will undergo brain surgery. Please pray for her with everything you have inside of you. Please pray we turn this temporary weakness into a viable strength, her suffering into compassion, her sorrow into joy, and her pain into comfort. Please pray for gods healing touch. I love you mom ♥️ 

Mom, here is big green tractor for you. Joey will protect you.
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