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Five years of sobriety. As of today, it’s a true statement, one I never thought I would be making. One I do not take for granted, held in great care, with deep awe, endless curiosity, and tremendous gratitude. 

Five feels different than four or three, than two or one. The number itself, 5, looks pregnant with possibilities. I’ve also been researching what five represents in numerology, tarot, astrology, alchemy, and across other cultures. I recently read that there are five elements in Chinese philosophy believed to be the fundamentals for everything in the universe. Wood. Fire. Earth. Metal. Water. My understanding is it’s not a matter of either or, but rather all five present within our beings at all times. 

Some believe we are born with an imbalance among these five as the default, the original factory setting if you will, but it’s a scenario we encounter again and again throughout our lives. That imbalance. And when this happens, and one becomes more dominant, it restrains the others, allowing for adverse conditions to arise. 

It makes me think about my life before sobriety and how well-versed I was at parting and scorching my earth, or damming and then drowning myself in my own waters. A master at extinguishing my fire, melting my metals, and chopping my wood into splinters and sawdust.

The process of repair and healing often starts with pinpointing the source of the imbalance, as each element correlates with both body and mind, different organs and emotions. My calibration - and recalibration - is ongoing, a dance, really. Some days, I'm not quite sure if I've got the right rhythm, while others are pure lockstep, synchronicity at its best. 

And in those moments of balance, what a glorious time of creation, with each element generating and nurturing the next. What a remarkable wonder to feed our fires. Forge new earth. Yield precious metal. Collect water. Nourish wood. What a gift it is, to be here, still, on this journey, with the opportunity to experience it all. 

#soberversary #soberlife #fiveyearssober #gratitude #grateful

p.s. 💍 in 6th photo was originally my mother's, now mine. My representation of "metal" & a shout out to my wonderful Momma!
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Happy Birthday to my precious girl! Three years on the planet and she is just pure magic. I never knew it was possible to feel this much love. 💙 @gildaradnertails 💙 #dogmom #dogsofinstagram #rescuedog #rescuedogsofinstagram #dogbirthday #corgi #terrier #gildaradnerthedog #gildaradner
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