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地雷 ✨️ SᕼIᗷᑌYᗩ ᗰEᒪTᗪOᗯᑎEᖇ✨️彁

@gorehound.killjoy

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I'm not even supposed to BE here.
Please help my friend Layan's family. They're wonderful kids suffering under a brutal, bomb-filled sky. link in bio.

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

"... That word, "self." That's not the word. That's not right, that isn't... How did I forget that? When did I forget that? The body stops a cell at a time, but the brain keeps firing those neurons.

Little lightning bolts, like fireworks inside, and I thought I'd despair or feel afraid, but I don't feel any of that. None of it. Because I'm too busy. I'm too busy in this moment. Remembering. Of course. I remember that every atom in my body was forged in a star. This matter, this body is mostly just empty space after all and solid matter? It's just energy vibrating very slowly, and there is no "me". There never was. The electrons of my body mingle and dance with the electrons of the ground below me and the air I'm no longer breathing. And I remember there is no point where any of that ends, and I begin.

I remember I am energy. Not memory. Not self. My name, my personality, my choices - all came after me. I was before them, and I will be after, and everything else is pictures, picked up along the way. Fleeting little dreamlets printed on the tissue of my dying brain.

And I am the lightning that jumps between. I am the energy firing the neurons, and I'm returning. Just by remembering, I'm returning home. And it's like a drop of water falling back into the ocean, of which it's always been a part. All things, a part. All of us, a part. You, me and my little girl, and my mother and my father, everyone who's ever been, every plant, every animal, every atom, every star, every galaxy, all of it. More galaxies in the universe than grains of sand on the beach. And that's what we're talking about when we say "God." The one. The cosmos and its infinite dreams. We are the cosmos dreaming of itself. It's simply a dream that I think is my life, every time.

But I'll forget this. I always do. I always forget my dreams. But now, in this split-second, in the moment I remember, the instant I remember, I comprehend everything at once. There is no time. There is no death. Life is a dream. It's a wish. Made again and again and again and again and again and again and on into eternity.

And I am all of it. I am everything."

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Wooow what a great first night out since being agoraphobic! It was so nice meeting all of @deadwaste's other friends and I wish my health and anxiety permitted me to interact more - you're all such sweet, vibrant souls and despite my legs refusing to work right an abject terror of unfamiliar people, I could not imagine a better space to have broken that invisible barrier in my mind. Thank you for everything, and shout out to my ungod daughter for patiently waiting for me and letting me make it up to her, lmao. Apologies for dipping out the back, I was about to collapse so I had to lie down in my car right away! ><

The artists on @italiansdoitbetter are incredible, but even better live! Their energy is unreal in person, and they're the kindest & most welcoming people ever. 🖤 Happy birthday babbu!!!
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#italiansdoitbetter #postpunk #darkwave #synthpop #casbah #mentalhealthawareness #agoraphobiarecovery #indiemusic #plantparenthood666 #chronicpain

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@rollyhyno #truelove #weedwidows

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DEATH BY SNEK

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RIP, you stinky alien

#MUSEUMOFDEATH #AWEIRDFIRSTDATE

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This happened... And my favorite one "Handsome Mike" asked me out for drinks afterwards. He felt like a dolphin.
PICS INCIPIENT
#ThunderDownUnder #ThanksMom

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Don't get too excited; people already have dibs!

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Wîtçh rappers, 2014.

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A family that slays together, stays together.

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