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today was a special day for me on a personal level.. my eldest daughter turned 15 and that happened to fall on father’s day

obv the only part of that equation that i cared about was the former, but the later planted a seed in my thoughts which grew into this post

since the day she was born i only ever wanted to be a perfect dad and to be able to teach her everything she needs to know in the shortest amount of time

little did i know that those two things could not ever coexist. you see for her to learn everything she needs to know to be whole and happy, requires her to understand that no one is perfect and part of life is understanding that that’s ok

so on a day that we celebrate our dads being our hero’s, i’m stuck contemplating the joy of knowing that she is old enough to recognize that i’m far from perfect and completely ok with that 

tayla.. the day you were born was a the day that my life changed forever. everyday since then has been me reconciling that i will never be the person that i thought i was going to be for you. everyday moving forward for me is not about being that person.. it’s about taking one step closer to being that person

you see, i can never be the person i think you deserve as a dad. but i can teach you that i can still love myself for trying to get better. if you can understand that.. you can have a happy life and that’s all i’ve ever wanted for you

i’m more proud of you than you’ll ever know. i love you more than you can understand. you hold a special place in my heart that no one else will every have

today i celebrate you. everything you’ve given me, everything you’ve taught me and all the ways you’ve changed me 

❤️
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