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Music Educator, Musician, Composer
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The past few weeks I have been reflecting on my time in college at OBU. As a senior I have been more conscious about realizing how far I’ve come in these few years, and that makes me excited for the future as well. 
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College was never easy for me. Even though I only lived 45 minutes away while some of my peers were from states almost a day’s drive away, adjusting to living on campus was hard. Eventually I settled in, and was making decent grades. But my second semester everyone was sent home because of the beginnings of the COVID-19 pandemic. 

That spring semester of being at home was one of the darkest times in my life mentally. I had never felt so exhausted constantly; I never felt happy, I was numb. If I felt anything it was sadness or anger. What I realized, though, was that those feelings weren’t new, they were just stronger because I was idle. After speaking with a counselor I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorders. 
Hearing those words sent chills down my spine. 
What had I done wrong? Are people going to judge me for this? Does this make me a bad Christian?
Humans constantly do wrong; that is why God’s salvation is so amazing. His love redeems without limits.
People did not judge me; in fact, I’ve felt more supported since then than I ever had before. 
And it does not make me (or anyone) inherently a bad Christian. It simply means that my walk with Christ will look different than others.

Since confronting my mental health head on, I have grown exponentially as a person. My relationship with Braden began to flourish because I was able to better trust. My friendships strengthened and multiplied because I wasn’t instinctively cutting people out. This semester I haven’t been overwhelmed by the amount of work on my plate. Since 2020 I have had to learn how to live again; how to let go of perfection; how to rest in God. 

I am excited for the coming years because now I truly feel alive. 

To my family, friends, professors, and of course Braden, thank you. You have loved me well through all of these times and I am so grateful for all of you.
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