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@jonkimmel

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South Park, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Crank Yankers, Generation Gap, Prank Panel, Andy Milonakis Show, Jonny Machete. (EP/Writer/Director/Actor/Burglar)

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Always the best times

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Sheriff Tammy’s hunt for Jonny Machete has him gob smacked. #cinema #western

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After the @unibocconi and @friendsofbocconi gala I was lucky enough to spend a few days in Brooklyn with my Viking husband, my wonderful parents-in-law, cool friends and the amazing @jimmykimmellive family.

So many laughs, crazy stories, and me once again teaching my fellow Americans the rules of real Italian food…

And remember to vote for our prima ballerina @iamguillermo on @dancingwiththestars

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このバンドの名前はバーニーとジェッツです。 @espokyo 本日は12:00-19:00オープンです。ありがとう@jimmykimmelliveThe name of this band is Bernie and the Jets. @espokyo is open today 12:00-19:00. Thank you @jimmykimmellive

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A message from Tammy. #survival #jonnymachete

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The de facto leader of the team

#saulofthemolemen #adultswimbump #cartoonnetwork

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Summer photos dumped... Back to work with a new @JimmyKimmelLive tonight.

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Quotes:

1️⃣ The best character in a dog is that it does not dissemble in its love, El Imam El-Shaby (d: 723AD) said.

2️⃣ A dog is loyal by nature and has instinetive friendliness and extreme protec- tiveness. It is wise and patient. It is also characterized by generosity and sense of gratitude. It is extremely useful and helpful. What the dog does is clear from any form of pretending or affectation, Al-Jahiz (D:869 AD) said.

3️⃣ Be aware, May Allah cherish you, that a dog is more compassionate to its owner than the parent to his child and the full brother to his brother as it guards its master and protects his wives when he is present, absent, sleeping and awake. It does not stop it even if they harden it. It does not let them down even if they let it down, Ibn Al-Marzipan (d:921) said.

4️⃣ At the sleeping time, a dog's eyes are the most alerted compared to all ani- mals. A dog sleeps during the day as they are not needed for guarding. It sleeps infrequently and scarcely. Its eyes are open enough to guard while it is in its deepest sleep; it stays in this state for only one hour. However, it is always more attentive than a wolf. Its hearing ability is stronger than a horse. It is more cautious than a magpie. Moreover, it has a long-distant sound, Al-Jahiz (d: 869 AD) said.

5️⃣ One of the features and actions of animals that indicate their prudence is that birds live in inhabited houses only and if abandoned by people, birds leave also. As for cats, they stay in the house, even if its people left. A dog departs with the people of the house and does not return to the house, Ibn Al-Jawzi (d: 1201 AD) said.

6️⃣ A dog touches the face of its owner to look at his eyes and face. It loves its owner and stays elose to him. It plays with him and his kids through soft and non-painful biting although its grinders are so strong that they can erack rocks and its fangs are so sharp that is can break stones, Al-Jahiz (d:869 AD) said.

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Dogs bearing fire to its owners!

I conclude the book with a very painful story of one of the wicked leaders who is an example for the saying: the end justifies the means. He was a bloody unjust ruler and the upper arm of the country (deceased: 983 AD)
The historian, Meskoey (deceased: 1030 AD) says in his book; the Experiences of nations and succession of inspiration:
One of his plots is being called the upper arm of the country commonly repeated as he plotted a group of the cage and Baloch people when he overwhelmed in Kerman to evacuate them from it.
The result was that a group of them has houses behind a mountain as they are non-accessible unless passing a strait. If a few numbers of people stood, they prevent a lot of soldiers from standing.
We lost hope in reaching it by force, he made a trick and threatened them that they should pay a royalty.
They said: we do not have money for you.
He said: you are hunters and I want a dog from each house.
So they had to do it. He counted their houses and took dogs of the same number.
The dog is sheltered by its master and still moving its tail for and around him. It also rubs him and be familiar with his house as if it escaped from a lot of parsecs, it returned to its coach.
He was ordered to put in their necks white oil rings and gather them in the mountain strait. The fire struck in oil and released and followed by the military.
They did that and the dogs were running quickly and the group felt that the soldiers were coming.They met them in the strait and each dog was sheltered by its master from fire.
When it rubbed the man, the fire spread and the road became accessed.
The dogs followed them, and the fire passed. A lot of them were fired.
The dogs attacked the houses, the occupiers of them evacuated, the soldiers followed them quickly, prepared sword and eradicated their apartheid.

Quote from a book:
Dogs in the Ancient Arabic stories.

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Bin El Marzaban It tells a sad story:

A friend told me that he had a friend whose wife died and had aboy.
He had a dog raised by him. One day, he left his son in the house with the dog and went out for a purpose.
After one hour, he saw the dog in the lobby and its face and mouth were full of blood.
He thought that it killed his son and ate him. He killed the dog intentionally before it entered the house.
However, he found the boy slept and next to it the rest of a snake killed and eaten by the dog.
The man strongly regretted killing the dog and buried it.

The fourth chapter: Dogs are Preferred to Many of Those who wore Clothes.
Author: Bin El Marzaban (deceased : 921 AD).

Quote from a book: Dogs in the Ancient Arabic stories.

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A dog sacrifices and rescues its owner from inevitable death:

A man came to some sultans, and he was accompanied by the governor of Armenia backing to his home. Then, he passed by a grave with a built-up dome where there was a statement; "this is a dog grave and who want to know its story can go to so-and-so village where he can be told.

The man asked about this village, and he was guided to it and asked its people and then they guided him to the Sheikh, and he sent to him and brought him. He found him an older man exceeding one hundred years. Then, he asked him.

And he said: yes, in this area, there was a great king who was known for hiking, hunting and traveling. He had a dog raised and named by
him. He did not leave him. At his lunch and dinner times, he fed it from his food. One day, he went hiking and said to some of his servants: tell the chef to make porridge with milk as I desired it.

Then, he went hiking.

The chef brought milk, made to him a great porridge, forgot to cover it and worked on cooking something else

A snake came out of the cracks of fields and spilled out its poison in the porridge while the dog was lying, seeing all that as it couldn't prevent the snake.

The king has a dumb old slave-woman who saw what was made by the snake.

The king returned from hunting, and then he said: Hey servants, bring to me at first the porridge. When it is brought to him, the dumb slave- woman nodded but they did not understand what she was saying; the dog barked, but the king was not careful but it continued shouting to explain to them what it wanted. Then, the king threw to its food as usual, but the dog did not approach it and continued shouting.

He said to his servants: keep it away as it has a story and started eating the milk. When the dog saw him want to eat, it jumped to the table and entered its mouth in the milk and sipped from it. Then, it died, and its body became scattered.=

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A dog breastfed a kid!!

Ibn Abi Al Dunya narrated that the sweeping plague attacked a house people, the country people were sure that there was no one; young or old there.
A small baby boy was crawling and could not stand, and all the remaining people there turned towards the house door and blocked it without realizing the baby.
After months, the group successors transferred to the house, and when the door opened and they entered the house, a baby was playing with the puppy of a female dog owned by the house owners.

When the baby saw it, it crawled to it, and it breastfed it. They recognized that the baby stayed in the house, became forgotten, was very hungry, and saw the dog breastfeeding its puppy, then it came to it, and when it breastfed it once, he was accustomed to it and asked her for feed always.

The narrator said: I saw this baby in Al Basra Mosque, and he was ravenous.
It was said that: this plague spread in the year of Sixty Nine.

Quote from a book:
Dogs in the Ancient Arabic stories.

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