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there were days this summer where i felt everything. and there were days where i felt nothing at all

the days broke me down — my feelings were so complicated. nothing about feelings are ever simple or easy. i held so much anger for feeling robbed

the time i had with loved ones, will now pale with time

i just wanted to hold on to them and yet time goes on

in trying to hold on to the past, i’d been too available when i should’ve let myself grieve

to honor them, honor myself, and honor the time we have left by taking no shit from anything less than the kind of love we deserve

here’s to showing up for the friends that show up for you and giving yourself the grace to heal
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friday, may 30th, 2025 i lost my best friend

my boy, my big dawg, my brother

carl was the kind of human that was deeply authentic, grounded, and a force. bursting full of life, he showed me how to live, to strive, to dig deep, to fight.

he always had that look in his eyes when he dug deep. 

he saw something no one else could when he pushed himself. 

he saw that in others around him too. 

and when we did our best, his eyes, his heart lit up like wildfire for us.

while he was so pragmatic, underneath it all, he was a dreamer.

he fought for those dreams, made all of them come true.

he leaves a fire in me to hold so gently, to strive, to fight, to dream. 

that’s what he wanted for all of us
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the forest provides 🙇🏽‍♂️

fun vibes w/ 
@joshshlee 
william
@sam_c_mcgovern 
@stackhousse 
@bensbeta 
@dom.speranza3
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