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Live Now. Die Later.
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Sometimes, you lose someone you love and you have to find the blessings to stop the tears from falling, just for a little while.

Kevin Arkadie is my brother. What he taught me, what we laughed about, what we argued about IS... not was. That is the blessing.

On the day he lost his battle to kidney disease, God saw fit to speak in His still, small voice. "Drop your errands. Go to the hospital this morning, instead, Felicia." Because I listened, I was with my beloved friend on his last day on this side of glory.  That is the blessing.

I read scripture. Held his hand. Told him all the reasons I wish he'd stay. But God had another plan.

Kevin and I met 25 years ago. I was a brand new drama writer and Showtime thought I needed his supervision on my first drama -- SOUL FOOD -- Television's first, multi-season, successful Black drama.

We fought like cats & dogs. We saw every element of the show differently. After all, he came from cop dramas, and I was making a family drama. It got so bad, he eventually left the show and I was given the privilege of running the show alone.

And then, a year later, he called me and apologized for being so dismissive when we worked together. "It was my ego," he confessed.  I started crying. I didn't expect that.

I apologized for not being the best version of myself. I pointed out so many of my mistakes that he finally said, "I get it. We were both assholes to each other."

We have been thick as thieves ever since.

Long dinners, bike rides, late-night bitching about the business. Encouraging each other, and always playwrighting discussions. He thought I should stake my claim as a playwright. I thought he was crazy!

Later, I hired him on THE QUAD. This time, we had ridiculous fun. He let me boss him around. "I let you win every fight because it's so important to you to win," he'd say. "You're my big brother. You let me win because you're supposed to," I'd counter.

3 years ago, it was his turn to hire me. I only wanted to work 3 days a week. "Fine. I don't want to fight with you." Lol!

I'm still numb. Still wish he'd come back and argue w/me 1 more time.

Rest in love, K.A. I'll miss you for a long, long time. ❤️🙏🏾🕊
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